Chapter 1 - RECONCILIATION
Today, I mark 8395 days in a place of detention. I got here when my hands were supple and soft, now they has began to wrinkle and my nails has brittle. My silver fox years has begun. The institutional clothing has grown out of me. My vision is getting blurry, and my body had acquainted the inside frigid. Their skimpy and stale meal has kept me breathing.
I just came from the chow hall approaching my cell as I hears police warden calling my name “Mr. Daluxolo Wellem! You had to follow me now". He said
I wondered why he is even calling me, maybe they want to transfer me to another prison of which I don’t want to be a sufferer again. I thought to myself
I did follow him, As we are strolling down the corrido he is whistling a tune. His hands are in his trouser pockets. He seemed to be a happy man.
I clears my throat; with a hoarse voice I asked “Sir? are you transferring me to another cell?" He continues with his whistle I am not sure whether he heard me.
It felt awkward so I didn’t ask again. After the moment of silence, He took out his hand from the pocket he pat my shoulder and he said “No sir you’re getting release today!" then he continues with his whistling.
I had a mixed emotions my legs were getting weak and my throat runs dry, We arrive at the police reception he said “Wait for me here I’ll come back right now"
I look around I found a bench chair and I took a seat, while I’m still waiting for police warden to come back and trying to process what I just heard, an old lady joined me.
She greeted “Hey, let me join you I’m here to see my son, but I’m waiting for receptionists she’s in the rest room at the moment”
I was quiet for quite long time then I realized she was talking to me, then I replied “Oh hey! By the way how’s life out there?”
I wasn’t paying much attention on what she was saying but my concern was what has changed on the world hence I was a prisoner for longest time.
She replied “What can I say life is having its ups and down as long as we still wake up alive we can’t complain that much, why are you asking me that? were you behind the bars?” she asked. I just nodded my head.
She asked “Were you arrested for robbery or did you kill?"
The conversation kept on getting bold even though we hardly know each other.
I replied “None of them, I never took what does not belong to me and to think of it, I don’t even know how to kill a mere fly. It’s only my blood sister who knows what happened, she’s the one who put me here and took away my freedom to live"
The confusion was written all over her face “What she did to you?” she asked
“It’s quite a long story” I replied
“You can make it short” she insisted
I didn’t want to disappoint the lady, So I continue with saying “I’m here because one day I woke up my hands coated with blood and my left hand was holding a gun, my thumb was ready to pull a trigger. When I lifted my eyes there were two police man at my room kicking my butt, my blood sister escorted them.”
“Take me to the day" She said,
She was already invested in the story, hence there was nothing I was hiding I was also ready to tell it all.
After waking me up the police said “You’re under arrest for the murderer of David Autumn the father of your sister’s child!. You have the right to remain silent because everything you said can be used against you in the court of law”.
I slept drunk on the previous night I wasn’t sure what was happening, I had an hangover because I was naked only having an under wear, the police gave me a chance to wear my clothes, I use that chance to escape hence my room had a huge window…
She was getting more perturbed and she said “Great you escaped but how did you got here?" I took a deep breath and I began to explain to her.
“Well after I escaped I was being haunted by the community, the hitman and the police. Everyone wanted a justice for David he was a well-known man but they were looking it at the wrong place. I had three options. First one was to let the community caught me first and burn my body into ashes then throw them into the sea. The second one was to let the hitman found me first, torture me to death and throw my corpse into the valley so I can be eaten by the hyenas and my remains cannot be traceable. And the last option I had was to lend myself into the police and here I am."
I heard the foot steps of the police warden, I hush down and I stand up so we could proceed with our journey.
“It’s time to leave, Warden has arrived” I said so to the old lady as I was getting up.
“I was hoping that you’ll continue with the story there’s a lot I would love to hear” said the old lady.
To my amazement, warden wasn’t ready to go with me. He also ensconced himself in that bench chair
“Mr. Wellem can you please proceed of what you’ve told. I’ve been listening to you from afar and despite of what is written on your docket file… I would like to hear your side of the story”
That was police warden with his silvery tone as he was paging a file that has my name on it.
I struck a glancing blow around me, also the old lady was still there joined by the receptionist their optimistic eyes were all on me.
I took a gulp of water and I begin tripping down the memory lane…
Well on 1966 I was only 15 years old when the Priest said “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust” to my granny's coffin watching it slowly going six fit under. That was the only soul that was close to my heart. Physically I had to detach from her!
Leaving the village and going to Cape Town and looking for my mom was the only choice I had, because I was left all alone and my home was so cold it needed a Mother to keep it warm, I thought so. I don’t know why she never come back for me. Somehow she did forget about me. All my granny used to say is she went to Cape Town in the means of job hunting so that she can provide for us. As we were the less privileged home. I was only a year old when she left my granny used to say so.
I still remember the day I set my eyes and foot on Cape Town! Oh what a very glamorous and big city! With a lot of people in it. I didn’t even know where to begin to search for her, all I had was her snap card in her youth days. The first person I met was a madman.
He was laughing all the way walking barefooted with torn pants.
I showed her my mother’s picture and I said “Hello! I’m looking for this lady do you know her"? He just shook his head and then he proceeded with his trek.
I stood there confused and scared at the same time.
The day went by and the sun was setting without getting a direction of where I can get my mom. I was hopelessly walking down the pavement carrying my tote bag which my grandma made it for me. Inside the bag there was a soccer ball which was made with a collection of plastic bags and my two trousers which were torn in the knees. My granny used to patch them for me but now she was no more.
I was clearly deep in thoughts when I heard a grating voice screaming “Help! Help"
I suddenly look back I saw the mugger running towards me with a black purse in his hands. Meaning he snatched it from the crying lady. I swiftly grab a stone and aim it to towards him, boom! I hit his forehead! Suddenly he fall down. I run to him and I grab the bag and I went to give it back to the crying lady.
“It’s okay I got your purse don’t cry" with a trembling hand I gave it to her I could tell she was indebted to me for helping her out!
“Thank You! Thank You So much! Let me see what can I give you” She said with a silken voice.
She then unzipped her purse took out her wallet, While she was still searching for what she can give to me.
She said “What are you actually doing here at this time your age mates are already at home”
I just smiled and look at her directly in eyes, before I said any word, I noticed a black wart on the left corner of her eye it looked so familiar! I quickly took out the snap on my coat’s pocket.
I showed it to her and I said “Actually I’m looking for my mother, she’s the one in the snap have you ever seen someone like this before?"
I was seeking for more assurance although I could see that the lady in the picture was look alike with the lady I was currently standing with.
Whilst she was giving me a R10 note she hasty grab the snap.
As she was staring at the snap her eyebrows were getting higher, her eyes were widen up, her irises were getting smaller and her mouth was getting open wider, she stood there in shock, thunderstruck. She just inclined her head and throw the snap on my face then she disappeared in a thin air she never replied to me and I thought I’ll never see her again. She left me confused and scared I wasn’t sure of what to think. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to ask her. I wish I could know what triggered her.
With the money she gave to me I bought some bread and milk that was my first meal in three days of not eating anything.
I wanted to go back in Eastern Cape but I remembered there was no one waiting for me at home and I got here with the last cent I had, which took me decades to save up for it.
By the way my name is Daluxolo that’s the name my Granny gave it to me which means to make peace. I was born to make peace that’s what I believe. All I wanted was finding my mother to burry the past and see what’s the future holds for us.
The sun has arise! I just woke up, and dust off my tote bag which I made it my mattress at night. I fold my coat which I made it a blanket to cover my cold feet, I also dust my trousers which I made them a pillow. I slept beneath the street lights and the moon.
I moved to the city, carrying my bag I was just walking with no direction and my instincts were allowing me to. I was still having high hopes of getting my mother. I lend to the Cape Town commuter belt. The place was such a beautiful and a serene place. You could even hear a falling pin. As I was walking down the street I saw a parked yellow bakkie next to the market.
As I was getting closer there was a man taking large boxes from the bakkie to inside the market. He was tall but quite obese you could tell he was a wealthy man, dark in complexion, I wasn’t sure about his age but I assumed my father is supposed to have the same age as him. Although I never meet him.
I remembered the soul that raised me used to say “Helping the elders is gaining blessings”
I consciously said “Hey sir I’m Daluxolo I would love to help out" then I begin grabbing those heavy boxes and getting them inside the market.
He smiled and said “Thank you son, you can call me Mr Moloi”
For once I felt welcomed and quite comfortable in cape town
I asked “Mr Moloi is this your own market?”
He replied “Yes it is son”
As we continued with working I took off the coat I was wearing vest
until he burst a question
“By the way what are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be at school?”
“Well I’m just a prodigal son, I’m looking for my mom she left me when I was a year old”. I replied
“That’s sound crazy what kind of a mother does that, do you know her name? or do you have her snap card” I know a lot of people here in Cape Town hence I’m the business man maybe I might help you" he insisted
I could feel my hopes were getting too high I put down the box I was carrying and I took out the photo and I showed to him. The excitement was written on my face as if I already found her then I gave the details about her.
“Here she is, her name is Gloria… Gloria Wellem she’s the one in the photo, we really look alike don’t we?” I said with abroad smile on my face
After I gave the snap to him I continued with picking up the boxes, leaving him staring at the picture.
I was still carrying the box when he said with low pitched voice “Jesus! This is my wife!” he was in shock I could tell his eyes were getting wide open in disbelief and the hand that was holding a photo was shaking.
I couldn’t control my shock I dropped the box I was carrying it felt like I was seeing a ghost I wanted to run! I didn’t know what to do. I was having to many questions with no answers
We stood there both shattered just starring at each other. After our nerves becomes relaxed he begins to explain.
“How this is even possible? She never said she left a son at home she came here long time ago, when I met with her she was looking for a job, she defined herself as an orphan I took her to my house, after my first wife passed away. I fall in love with her and we got married”
It sounds like a dream I just couldn’t wait to see my mom I confidently said “Can you please take me to her I just want to see her"
I jump at the back of the bakkie and he drove off to his place, where my mother was!
I stood at the gate while waiting for him pick some stuff in the car and open a gate for me, I was getting more anxious.
It’s such a big house is mama really leaves here? How dare she is! back at home she only left one hut and it’s roof is made with husk of plants which were already sifting through. And it was covered with tracks on it’s body any day the hut could collapse. I stood there wondering to myself.
We got in the house then he called my Mother for me “Gloria! Gloria! Come here now, you have a visitor!”
She was coming from the bathroom drying her hair with large towel I could tell she just took a bath, immediately she saw me she bowled over as if she could run or she’s seeing a ghost.
“Do you know…” before her husband even finished she talk over him.
“No I don’t even know this child! why is he even here! Have you been stalking me?” she said aggressively.
As she was shouting I was just staring at her. I had something I remembered. "I recognize this face aren’t you the lady I saved from the mugger on the other day?” I asked her
I could see it was her, the black wart on the corner of her left eye was still there which looked familiar with the one in the snap card.
She was just trying to run away with everything she just couldn’t admit that I’m his son. She never replied maybe she thought I’m there to ruin her happy family.
“Mama I’m your son Daluxolo the one you left with your mama, see how grown I am, and granny your mom she’s no more she passed away due to heart attack. I thought I would see you on her funeral but I was all alone preparing for the burial and consoling my self. I needed you mama"
As I was saying those words I was in great affliction, and sniveling. My eyes quickly got covered by tears, I then wiped my tears and continue
“Mama I could see you not happy for seeing me here, I never meant to ruin things for you. I’ll go back home I’ll just go to granny’s grave and tell her you still alive so she can at least sleep at ease.”
“You mean my mother is no more?” She said with soreness in her face.
“Yes, she’s no more, she died because of heart attack, it was her wish for us to meet one day. My life is miserable without the woman who breastfed me, that’s why I did search for you”.
The house was tense no one wanted to say anything, she looked at her husband and she was care to explain everything to him
“My husband look, I’m sorry that you found it this way, I was going to tell you but it was not the right time” She said trying to please him
“Dammit! Gloria! We’ve been married for 10 years! 10 good years! But you’ve kept this secret for me. If this boy never come here will you even explain to me?”
He replied as his eye brows were getting frown, he couldn’t keep his voice low anymore, he was busy pointing at her.
I could see Mr. Moloi was really angry he left us in the Kitchen. I was only left with my so called Mother
She was getting more closer to me and she aggressively said
“What are you still doing here? can’t you see, you making the matter worse! You better get the hell out”
“I’m sorry ma…” She couldn’t even let me to finish what I was about to say.
“Save it and just get out” She said as she was passing through to open the door for me to get out.
I just walked out in heavy heart. I could hear the door being slammed so hard behind my back.
Then I made my way out getting back to the street on the way I couldn’t hold myself I cried to the core.
I kept on looking back as if she’ll come and fetch me and said “Son I’m sorry get back home”
But that was just an imagination!
I looked at the sky, before my granny passed away she used to say when things get tougher I should look in sky’s and speak with her
I stood there by the road and I look up in the sky’s and begin speaking
“Lang’lokulunga! Marhadebe!” That was her clan name, that’s how I used to praise her when she was still in life.
“Can you see me?! Can you hear me?!” I’m your son the one you breastfed, Mama I’m seeking for guidance, your daughter doesn’t want me here. What can I do to make her love me?! And accept me as her daughter…”
I couldn’t hold myself anymore I began sobbing and I continue with speaking
“I’m so tired mama! I’ve been trying to make things right but nothing coming together, I’m I cursed?! Plea… Please show me the way mama…” at this moment I was crying tearfully, I found it hard to finish what I wanted to say.
I got on my knees I kept on crying helplessly, my eyes were already swollen I wiped them off and I kept on walking down the road, large clouds pillows were growing and obscuring the sun’s golden hue.
My coat begun to receive the first platters of a rain. As a constant bare footer, my feet could feel the moisture of a black top. I took a shelter under an old oak. While waiting for the sun to reappear and illuminate the grass with slanted shaft of light. The droplets eventually faded into a melodious chime as the cacophony subsided.
I could hear the car horn on the side of the road, I avert my eye on to it. Before I say anything I heard the orotund voice saying
“Come back home!” it was the owner of that Yellow bakkie, my mom’s husband on other words. I replied “No that is not a place to be called home" my voice was brittle the soreness was written all over my place
“What do you mean?” he asked kind of confused
“For the first time I set my foot there I did felt the anxiousness, the unsympathetic, I don’t want to get back there!” I was moving closer to him as he was still in the car.
“For goodness sake please come with me I’ve talked with her" I could see he felt sympathy for me.
I was very concerned of how he changed her mind, how he made her to see me as her son.
“ I supposed to feel the warm hug of my lost and found mother, I could have seen the welcoming smile and the tears of joy but none of that I’ve seen or experienced” I said to him
“Now that I’ve already found you I can’t leave you here again, in the morning you’ve even helping me on the market I just want to do good by you" he said with his convincing tone.
Eventually I did got in the car, he seemed not giving up on me. Even if I never wanted to go back I didn’t know where I was about to sleep tonight, I did have a choice. We went back to that place.
I did arrived at the house I didn’t know what to say. It was still tense
“Come this side and you can have a seat here” he said pointing at the couch. I did took a seat, I kept on looking around the sitting room.
My mother come with a glass of juice and then she said “Have a drink”
This time she was so calm. I hesitated to take it but eventually I did. Mr Moloi did joined us.
Then she sat next to me patting my shoulder and she begin speaking.
“Look I’m sorry for abandoning you when you needed me the most, it was never intentionally (she begins sniffling). Your father left me pregnant for another woman, I’ve grown so much hatred towards him, I felt rejected. When I left you home I had hopes of coming back for you, but I met with the person which promised to marry me. I was afraid if I did tell the truth, he might change his minds. I was never ready to tell the truth even now it was hard to admit until he promise he won’t divorce me.”
She was sobbing I got closer to her and I wiped off her tears, I didn’t want seeing her crying like that.
“It’s okay mama, I understand I’ve forgiven you long time ago, I’m here because I need you, I’m alone in this world I wanted to reunite with you life is too short”
I said so as I giving her a huge and a consoling hug. She hugged me back and she said
“Sometimes I used to have sleepless nights thinking about you and mom but I never had a way of telling my husband, I’m so sorry for being selfish”
“It’s okay mama, now I’m here, we can start over again” I said consoling her
Mr. Moloi come through and we had a huge family hug.
After all I felt relieved and I believe that I got the closure I’ve been looking for.
My mother just looked at me and “Said let me make you something to eat, you must be hungry" as she was going to the kitchen.
“Home sweet home!” I happily shouted as I was throwing myself into the couch
“Welcome home my boy!” Said Mr. Moloi as he was giggling and patting my head
I was still waiting in the sofa having a chit-chat with Mr. Moloi
“You actually having a little sister you’ll meet her soon she’s still in school right now, she’s a bubbly girl you’ll like her" said Mr Moloi
We both heard a little knock in the door.
“Don’t worry I’ll take care of it” said Mr. Moloi getting to open the door
“Oh! Speaking of the devil, here she comes” he said as she was picking her up
“Rose I’m having a surprise for you and you might like it” said Mr. Moloi
“What’s that daddy? it a new doll?” Rose said with a concerned face
Rose is indeed a beautiful girl she looked alike with my mom, I guess she was 3 years younger than me
“No you having a brother, you can welcome him” Said Mr. Moloi pointing out at me
I could see that Rose was shocked. Then she said
“What do you mean a brother? I’m not having any brother unless you adopted him but that doesn’t make him my brother!”
“Hey Rose it’s nice to meet you sister” I stood up and shook her hand though I can see she was less interested on me.
Our Mother come through and give me food I could tell she overheard the conversation then she begins to explain to my Young sister.
“Rose you can have a seat my child so that I can explain”
Said mama as she was sitting next to her
“Look, I made a huge mistake, this is your brother which I left him at home with my mom, unintentionally now he’s going to be one of us.” My mother explained to her
She wasn’t really impressed maybe it’s because I looked like a waif.
“Ok then welcome home brother” She said as she was rolling her eyes on me and she made her way to her room.
“Oh wait my sister, My coat is wet may I have one of your warm Jackets please, if you don’t mind" I said as I was taking off my coat
“No I don’t necessarily share my stuff especially my clothes” She said still averted her eye from me.
“Sorry I didn’t know” I said. Our parents has nothing to say.
I felt little bit embarrassed but that’s when I realized the siblings rivalry has begun!
