Apple pie and escalator

“If you are going to make an apple cake you need to make the entire universe first. No. Don’t say it. Yes, I might have been a bit dramatic.”

“Get in the car Pablo.”

“Okay”

Maybe you don’t need to make the entire universe first. Or, no, its actually completely true. You do need to make the entire universe if you want a really good apple pie. Or, it isn’t actually me who are going to make the it, but someone stands behind it, I’m sure. Because you need sugar and flour, cinnamon and apples, and things like that doesn’t just come by themselves. First you need to plant the seed, and then collect the fruit, and of course there is a whole lot of growing in between.

But when I, myself, are going to make an apple cake, we first need to drive to the store. Our apple tree was taken by a storm and ended up on our neighbour’s trampoline. They had to take apart the whole thing to get it out. And that is why we are making the pie.

And I’m not worried about how we are going to get to the store at all.

The grocery store is at the top of the escalator, and it’s not that I don’t know how to take an escalator. I’m just a little unsure how you get on it. And when you first have gotten on, do you automatically know how to get off?

You are probably wondering how I have never tried an escalator when I’m ten in May. The answer is simple. I have tried may times, I just have never succeeded, and ended up taking the normal stairs instead. I’m very good that way, I don’t need stairs that climb themselves, but it would have been nice though.

So, me and Bob stood there, while the steps came and went. “It’s very simple,” Bob said. “Everything you need to do is to step behind the yellow line, and you’ll be safe.”

“But,” I said “That is what I need to do with the first foot, what about the second?”

“You don’t need to think about it, it follows automatically.”

“But what if it doesn’t?”

“It will. You just walk right on. Walk normal.”

I took a couple of steps back. Because you can walk like you always do, but how do you know if you hit the yellow line? And how far behind the yellow line do you need to step? Right behind, or should your toe touch the next step? Are both feet supposed to go on the same step, or do you set your first foot on the first step and then you wait for the next step to appear and then put your second foot on it? For how long do can you stand on one foot in the escalator, and is it dangerous? How fast do you need to walk to sync with the escalator and how long do the steps need to be?

“Why are you walking like that?” Bob said, while he stepped aside to let a woman with a big fur pass on to the escalator.

“I’m trying to get on the escalator!”

“Okey, okey.” Bob said. “Just put your foot on and you will get on just fine.”

My knees started shaking. “I’m not going to get on!”

“You’ll get on just fine!” Another man with like five shopping bags walk between us.

“No!”

“Yes, you will!”

I concentrated and after three steps had passed I hurried to put my foot right in the middle of the step. The only problem was “What am I supposed to do now?” I shouted at Bob.

He looked very confused. It was like he never before had seen another person who has never used an escalator, and now he wasn’t exactly sure what he was supposed to do. He just stood there, staring at me. His eyebrows had disappeared far up on his forehead.

I stood in some kind of upward split with one foot still on the floor and the other on its way up the stairs. Then I fell. It felt like my knee cap had broken in a million pieces.

“Very good!” Bob yelled from somewhere behind me. “Just continue to till you get to the top!”

To have been going so fast when I was getting on, the ride was terribly slow, I couldn’t get up nor down from my stance on the escalator, and a line of people had formed behind me.

When I finally had almost reached the top, I understood that no, its not like when you first have gotten on, you’ll now how to get off. I also realised that it was not Bob behind me in the line. He had ended up far behind.

I struggled to get up and started walking towards him, the only problem was that I was trying to go down in an up escalator. “Get out of the way!” I yelled as I tried to get down between heavy winter coats and greenery people had brought with them on the escalator.

I got nowhere, but if I stopped waking, I would reach the top, and that is somewhere I have never been before, so that was no option.

Thankfully Bob got to me. “Help!” I shouted.

“Just stand on the step, and you’ll get off!” He strictly pointed a finger at the step.

“That is what you said when I was getting on!” but I stood on the step, and I just kind of slid off, as if I had done it many times before.

So then it was that apple pie.