Prologue-Leaving Home
~Sunni~
“This is a mistake, you realize this?” my mother said. “You’re leaving your entire family to chase some silly girlish dream and you’re going to fall on your face. No one will be there to help you once this silly dream doesn’t pan out, I hope you know.”
“Getting accepted to Calico Dance is a huge deal. There is no way I am going to turn down a chance to be trained the Park Jimin. He’s the best dancer and choreographer in the world. And I’m not leaving my entire family, mother, I’m leaving you,” I grumbled.
“Such a ridiculous profession,” she said, rolling her eyes. “You’ve done some stupid things before but this is by far the stupidest.”
“What have I done that’s so stupid?” I said, raising my voice in frustration. “I’ve had two jobs since I was fourteen and I was still a top student in school. I’ve cooked, I’ve cleaned, and I’ve never asked for your help with any of it! You don’t care if I go or not, you are just mad that I won’t be here to clean up your messes anymore.”
“You’re never going to make it there. Hundreds of wannabe dancers are trying to do the same thing you are. It’s pathetic,” she said, her voice laced with contempt.
“Mom, stop it,” I said, tears stinging my eyes. “No matter what you say I am going. This is my life and I’m living for me from now on.”
“I guess the only way for you to learn is to fall flat on your face. Just don’t expect to come crawling back home when you fail,” she said, her voice cold. “If you leave this house now, don’t even think of coming back.”
As I slung my duffel over one shoulder and my back pack over the other, I turned back to her and said, “Believe me, I won’t. Even if I do fail, I’d rather die than come back here. Goodbye mother.” With those last words I walked out of my childhood home for the last time.
I walked to the bus station, tears streaming down my face, mad at myself for letting her hurt me on what should’ve been a happy day. I knew my mother was going to be mean about me leaving. Truth be told she was mean about everything and always had been. I just never thought she’d try to make me feel like a joke and root for my failure. I hated to admit it but after all these years she still managed to hurt me deeper than anyone else.
As soon as I was at the terminal, I handed the attendant my ticket and waited for the bus that would take me to my new life. I was sad that it meant leaving behind everything I had ever known but it also meant the start of something good...I could feel it.
Once I was on the bus I leaned back against the seat and closed my eyes, hoping to get some rest. The ride would be long but the journey would be worth it...at least I prayed it would.
The mixture of nervousness, sadness, and anticipation hit me while on the bus and I fell asleep about halfway through the trip. A kind lady woke me as soon as we’d reached the terminal and let me know we’d arrived in Seoul. I felt butterflies in my belly as I got off the bus and got my duffel bag. I’d put a down payment on a small one bedroom apartment that was thankfully furnished. Leaving home meant leaving behind everything that I couldn’t carry on my back so I felt like fate was on my side when I found the ad. It was in my price range and I didn’t need a lot of space.
I took another bus to my new apartment after getting directions and once I’d arrived and collected my keys, I unlocked the door and walked inside. It was definitely small but it was perfect. I sat my things down by the door, collapsed on the couch, and cried a river of tears as the emotions of the day hit me at once.
For the first time in my life I felt free. I was on my own with no one to answer to. I would be able to go about my life day to day without my mother’s constant remarks and disapproval.
I was finally living my dream and no one was going to stop me.
***
The first few week of classes at Calico Dance had been a roller coaster of emotions. After my initial shock of meeting Park Jimin and feeling like a star struck groupie, I immediately got to work.
Mr. Park was very charming and welcoming on our first day of classes and all girls (and most boys) gushed over how captivating he was. He was so handsome that it almost felt like being blinded by the sun looking at him. However after that first day his demeanor changed. It was clear that after the pleasantries of the first class that when it was time to learn that he was a very strict instructor. He expected all students be prepared when coming to class and ready to work harder than they ever have and he definitely pushed us to our breaking point.
He placed us in different classes based off our individual skill levels and in order for him to assess that we had to perform the audition pieces we’d submitted to him in person. I practiced for two days until my assessment and when it came time for him to watch me I almost threw up from nerves. I had to remind myself as my name was called that this was just a placement assessment and that if I wasn’t talented enough to be here he wouldn’t have accepted me. I performed my piece for him with my eyes closed because I was afraid I’d break if I saw him watching me. I’d admired him and his dancing for years and if I saw him look disapprovingly in any way I’d have been shattered.
Once the music stopped and I was finished, he called my name and I opened my eyes. His expression was unreadable as he stood and walked to me. He placed his hands on my shoulders and I gasped as he gently turned me to face the rest of the students. All of the girls in the class were glaring at me with jealousy in their eyes over the fact that Mr. Park’s hands were on me, no matter how innocent it was.
“Everyone performed well this week and I want to congratulate you all,” he said, removing his hands and stepping to my right side. “I will be posting the new class schedules in the coming days and you will all be placed in the classes that match your skill set. However, I wanted to take this brief moment to implore all of you to remember the dance you just watched. This performance,” he said, turning his head to look at me, “was the gold standard I expect all of you to achieve. Miss Choi’s dance was flawless and elegant and do you know why?” he asked, pausing for someone to answer. The other students exchanged puzzled glances and when no one answered, he continued with, “It’s because she wasn’t dancing to impress me or get placed in the top classes. She dances like she needs to move to breathe, like she’ll die if she doesn’t and I could feel that radiating out of her. That’s the passion I want to see from all of you,” he said, and I felt my cheeks burning.
I was so flattered and honored that he felt that way about my dancing that I almost started crying. However as my eyes scanned the room and saw the disbelief and jealous looks from the other girls I knew in that moment that my classes at Calico were going to be twice as hard but I was okay with that. I was used to keeping to myself and I remembered then that I wasn’t there to make friends. I was there to live my dreams and see them through.
After class was over I was kneeling down on the floor packing my gear into my gym bag when I felt someone kneel beside me. “Miss Choi,” I heard Mr. Park say, “great class today.”
I looked at him and blushed. “Thank you Mr. Park,” I said bowing my head to him.
“You’re very welcome. Your dancing was beautiful and I’m happy to have you here. I knew when I saw your audition video that I had to have you join us. I’m glad to see I made the right choice,” he said, picking up my water bottle and passing it to me.
“Thank you,” I said, placing the bottle in my bag and zipping it up. “I am so honored you accepted me and I will work my hardest not to let you down.”
We both stood up and he grinned at me, saying, “I don’t doubt that.” He looked over at a group of girls whispering and he smiled at them before saying to me, “I’m also afraid that my speech might’ve made it a little harder for you to make friends among your classmates.”
I turned to look at the girls who were either gushing about Mr. Park or talking badly about me and I sighed. “Oh, I don’t care about that. I’m not here for them or to make friends. I’m here for me and only me. I’ve dreamed of the chance to work with you ever since I first saw you dance and the fact that I get to do that means more to me than making friends with competitive girls.”
“Well, as much as I admire your work ethic I do hope you take time to get out and meet people to spend some free time with. Your dancing is beautiful and you are very talented but don’t let that be the only thing anyone knows you for. Make sure to have some fun too,” he said to me.
I smiled and said, “Okay, I’ll try.”
“Good,” he said. “Well I won’t take up too much more of your time so I’ll let you be on your way but before you go I wanted to personally congratulate you on being placed in my advanced classes.”
My eyes widened and I asked, “Oh my god, really?”
“You’ve earned it, Miss Choi. Go get some rest because the real hard work begins tomorrow. My advanced classes aren’t easy at all and you’ll work harder than you ever have. You up for it?”
“Oh definitely, I’m ready to work. Thank you so much, Mr. Park,” I said and he smiled again. He bid me goodnight and I practically floated back to my apartment on a cloud.
***
In what felt like the blink of an eye three weeks had passed. Mr. Park was right...his classes were incredibly draining and I did the hardest dancing I’d ever done. I’d come to classes as energized as I could be in the morning and by the time I was ready to go home I would barely make it through my front door before passing out. Fridays were always an easy day because classes were shortened and we all would just show something new we learned that week. After class was over, I was gathering my things when Mr. Park stopped me.
“Great class today, Sunni,” he said, taking a long drink of his bottled water. I was happy that he finally started calling me by my first name. It almost made me feel like we were becoming friends.
“Thank you Mr. Park,” I said, picking up my bag.
“Please, call me Jimin,” he insisted with a grin. “I feel like an old man when you call me that.”
“You’re definitely not an old man,” I said, chuckling. “I can call you Jimin if you’d like.”
“I would,” he said. “So, what are your plans for this evening? I hope you’re taking my advice about having fun outside of classes.”
“Oh, well...I’ve tried to but honestly I’m so tired after I get home that I don’t have the energy to go out and meet people,” I confessed.
“Well, how about we change that tonight?” he asked.
“What do you mean?” I asked him.
He smirked at me and asked, “How’d you like to come to a dinner party with me?”
