Colorfully Love

There are many questions running through my mind and actually without any answer. Looking through the area, there are many couples walking close together and smiling bright. They are happy that's clear. But what about im wondering is, the thing that they have found their Soulmate or a person that loves the other unconditionally, and see the world with difrent eyes, meanwhile I am stuck. Stuck in this dark and cold world. Many times I heard some people saying that the colors they see, are warm and so bright.

A weird feeling has climb up to my chest when I overheard them, I mean, yes it's envy what has come and overwhelmed me but I think it's reasonable, isn't it ? Since I was a little and knew the secret of the world, I always were wondering how it was to see the colors. Mum and Dad has always told me what kind of color I am wearing, but it's not the same. With the time when I started to understand more, then more the feeling been present.

People like me, those who's still alone and having any other colors yet, haven't found our Soulmate till now. We see the world black and white, it's Grey. Like everything.

Only because of my parents I know that I'm blonde, what ever that means. My eyes are deep blue which must be very beautiful, at least that's how my parents have told me. But just to know the colors doesn't mean I can imagine it, or habe any idea what it looks like.

Without having found your Soulmate, your time will pass by and you will just dissappear. Not like some dust or something, I'm talking about death.

So, here I am almost Twenty years old and try to find the love of my life, I'm not hoping to find my soulmate, because that's something I can't even ask for. My personality isn't the best and easily to handle with, but I guess there might be someone who can find the will to love me and i him back. Aren't I selfish?

It's just a matter of time when the destiny will hit in and show me, what I am here for.

I've Givin slowly up but also holding with the pinky to the hope I will once experience the Love.

While walking to my workplace, it's always been the same struggle to me and also the same damn questions what always been hitting in my mind. My parents always worry about me, every day The same questions about if I can see the colors or not. I feel pushed, pressured and hit against the wall. I do understand what's the matter is but still, I need space.

The question why we are living in the world like this, was already answered to me. It's an organisation what made this. Some might say a broken hearted woman is the one who turned a normal world into this, the other say it was a man. Good thing not Monkey but a Human being. But what comes to the world that were before, it's simple. Every one could see colors beside those who were ill, I do not remeber the name of the illness anymore.

It makes me cry a river, I was born to a wrong time.

I actually met someone who said they don't love their partners but try to, they try to find a feeling that they don't know about what it really feels like, but will know when it's on time and see the world in its colors. That makes me questioning if its maybe thei right thing. Find someone you might like as a person and maybe one day you will love this someone. And they you back.

It's a horrible world I live in and it doesn't get better day by day.

Lost in my thoughts, I forgot I am actually walking to the work, weren't the not so nice driver that starts to yell at me." Did you go crazy or what? Where are your eyes at, damn it." Fast I apologize to him and run as fast I can to the other side of the road. Damn, that was close.

"Daria!" A loud voice know mingles with the surrounding sounds in my ears. It's my Fried who Yells from afar and winks happily. The food thing is, we all know how to be happy beside the system here. We haven't lost our feelings, we try to pas the days, yes, but still try to make them something special. "Jimmy." I smile and walk as fast towards my Friend. He isn't that tall but taller than me, skinny yet well builded. He's handsome though, a very nice guy and funny. Jimin is someone you could laugh all day if you want to, or talk to no matter about what, he will listen and tell his honest opinion, no matter If it may hurt you or not.

He's really honest and kindhearted. Most of the time Jimin is coming late at work because he will find someone who will need help. Even if our manager will yell his lungs out at him, he will smile and calm him down just with his presence and smile. This Man is getting everyone into his spell. Jimin may be shy but also flirty too, fair one and hates when's someone being unreasonable mean to someone else.

When we spend our time together and watch movies, I have always to take of him because he may start to cry by some sad moments. This Man isn't afraid to show his emotions, his heart is on his tongue.

"I have to mark this day in my calendar, you're not late to work." I laugh once I catch up with him." Very funny." Jimin pretends to laugh and gets my hand just to drag me inside the café we work at. The fresh coffe hits our nose and we stop our trap just to inhale to this beautiful scent."Ah!" We breath satisfied out and look at each other smiling.

Beside our University we work at a pretty good Café. Here is the best coffe in whole city.

"Ah you both are here, get ready it's going to be chaotic today and I need you both to give the best. We have a lot to do today." Our Manager says monotone while preparing the fresh coffe. Our Manager is kind of strict but also cool. When it comes to Jimin, he might have soon a mental breakdown. " Congratulations Jimin, you're not late today." Of course he couldn't miss chance to mock Jimin.

"If you want I can go and come a bit later." Jimin says already walking behind me to the back where our lockers are." Very funny." Our Manager says not looming at us but keep the eyes on the machine.

"Its end of the month, paper work have to done today, maybe its that what Darek mean." Darek is our Manger. He's in the 29 years old, tall and skinny. He is always take care of himself, whenever you will walk past by him, he will smell pretty good and also does his look. He won't let it happen that the clothes are mess or his hair. Also, Darek have found his Soulmate already, it happened here in the Café. Just out of nowhere. Like he said he was just looking up from the bills at the costumer and suddenly he could see the colors showing up. They Grey faded slowly away, it was replaced by the bright colors.

Darek said it was something special, something he will never forget. Oh, of course it's something, I mean he knew he wouldn't dissappear or have to hope on someone's love. And also the world showed its beauty to him. That happened five years back than. And now, he is married and await a little baby girl that have soon to be born to this world.

"What about today, do you have time or is it bad today?" Jimin asks when I am about to tie up my sneakers." Huh? You mean our Movie Night?" I look up just to see him nood at me and tie the apron around his waist." Sure, I'm free like always." I answer getting up from the seat and taking my apron out off the locker." Let's pray we aren't staying all night here before we can discuss what movie we will look." I say and wrap the ties around my waist while walking out to the front." I feel like it will be a long day." A whine escapes Jimin.

🎀

"What long day." I sigh out once we get out of the Café into to world and it's fresh breeze of wind." I'm so tired, I think my hands are having major cramps." Jimin utters pretending to be about to cry." It was too much for today." I add interwining my fingers behind my head and walk towards home." You coming or what?" I ask looking over my shoulder to Jimin." I'm here" He says being right next to me. The one thing I hate the most, is that when it's night time it's hard to see the people. The only help we have are the Laterns which aren't always working near the Café.

"Which movie we want to watch?" Jimim asks massaging his fingers." Don't know, what about horros movie. We weren't watching one in a while and the romantic stuff is-"

"Is getting on your nerves, I know." I couldn't finish the sentence since Jimin has decided to do it instead of me." At this rate will it be very difficult for you." He says not having his eyes on me." What do you mean?" I ask not really getting the meaning of his words."I

mean that you're starting to be very anti-love and anti-romantic. When the time comes you won't notice and you won't find someone to love."

This makes me think hard how he put me who just wants to watch a Horror movie and his words about love." Its not like that. Bit I would like to watch a Horror Movie instant of romantic." I add a bit confused.

"

You've been very peculiar lately. You are somewhere else with your thoughts and when we watch romantic films you are very absent or you scoff. Maybe you want to share some thoughts with me?"

I try my best to remeber when I was like that and to catch a thought about it. There is now way I wouldn't take Jimins words seriously, I am made like this, I always take things to close and start to overthink. But the difference is, I like Jimin and to talk to him, I love when he tries to figure out why I am like that or why I do have things in my head that shouldn't be. Like bad thoughts or just weird ones. Let's say, he's the help I sometimes need.

"I do

not know exactly. Everything is kind of weird and these romantic movies don't show real life either. I think that's pure bullshit, it's not as easy as it is shown in the movies. It's tough and very controversial.... Remember the movie we watched last time, I didn't like it. A naive girl , cliche, falls in love with her enemy, oh wait another cliche, and suddenly the colors are there and the next day when they meet everything is fine and... Boooom happy ending. It's not real life." And again the cold jealousy speaks out of me.

It's not the films, I'm the problem. Is it the pressure or the fear that I can't make it? Even if life is going, so unfortunately not for everyone with a happy ending There are two endings, either you find your soul mate or the love of your life, or you disappear from this world at the age of 25. You only have 25 years to find one or the other And what if the soulmate doesn't live in the same country as you, or is an idol, then what? They just screwed up and that's what pisses me off. Is that it?

Jimin sighs deep out before he takes his time to think about what was just told by me.

It seems like an eternity before he speaks to me.

" I know what you mean. But have you ever considered that these films serve to build hope? There are people who have really given up and maybe just need that to be a little more motivated. Yes it's a cliche and how. However, I think there are some things you just didn't consider and you're lost somewhere. The real world is different yes, but these films and all the others serve to switch off, just to forget everything around you for a moment." His voice is very light and calm. Nothing indicates that he is disappointed in me, or that I'm starting to get on his nerves. No, on the contrary, I feel the will to bring something close to me is very present. "I understand you Daria, but you also have to slowly understand what life is about. It's scary to know that after a certain time everything can be over, that there are certain rules in this world that we never chose. But, it It's also about this here and now being important. That fear shouldn't take over you and especially not jealousy. The real thing is very cruel, but give yourself a push and try as best you can to make the best of it. It's not All lost. Who knows what tomorrow may bring. Maybe you'll run into your soul mate, who knows."

Jimin shrugs at the end of the sentence with bis shoulders and looks ups to the sky. Stopping my track but still having the eyes on him how he walks further, I than ask." Are you afraid or worried?"

That question makes him stop and turn around, his eyes completely on me and he nods. "Yes I have, and a lot." He honest answer. The smile that's always on his lips isn't present anymore. Only tiredness and pure honest is talking out off him and play in his eyes.

"

You know, it's very scary at night. First of all we humans. "I start laughing so as not to spoil the mood completely. Jimin is looking at me very woozy." What do you mean?" He asks while putting his hands in his pockets.

I start to laugh even harder while walking close him." Daria, did you went crazy?" He asks smiling already." Maybe." I say between the laugh." But look at my eyes and tell me what you see." I laugh harder when the puzzled expression mixes with the smile of Jimin before he gets what I mean. In within a second he starts to laugh along.

I do mot want him to worry or to be afraid of something. This guy deserve so much in this world, especially Love.

Why can't I be in love with him and he with me? That would be the best thing that could happen.

🎀

Jimin agreed to watch a Horror Movie together. So we went straight away to my place, warmed some left overs up and started to watch the Movie in my room. My parents are already asleep since they have to get up early. I see them mostly after the College or on weekends since that's the only time they are home at the same as me. Maybe its good thing not having them 24/7 around. They only would worry too much.

While Jimin is completely lost into the Movie, I have my thoughts some where else. Its an Idea I had earlier, more like a though flash. But it's not going to leave me at all, it stuck deep in my brain. So mu h that I can't focus on the Movie at all.

"Earth to Daria, you here?" Suddenly is Jimim right infront of my eyes and I stare at him without having answer his question. Should I ask him or wait a bit and overthink a bit more?

*Jimins P.o.v*

Since I noticed that it's just me who is watching the movie, I try to get Daria back to her sense. This girl will make me go crazy one day. She's always somewhere far from here, somewhere deep in her thoughts. It's good to overthink things but not in that rate she's doing it. And to be honest, the conversation earlier has opened up my eyes about her. Shes feed up of this world and is loosing herself to the dark Grey side.

It's not a good sign at all, this girl is much more than to be controlled by envy, anger or just bad thoughts. Daria is smart and pretty girl. It's been 9 years ago when I met her and we became friends, I remeber clear the nice girl what have always many things to ask. The curiosity where always with her , I guess that's what have made it so interesting to be around her. Because of her I started to read more books and watch through the net only to have maybe an answer if her question or just make something up what made sense to me.

But now it's the fire that's slowly fading away. She miss the other side of the live, she haven't found a way to enjoy everything. She's happy yes, but these past few weeks, Daria isn't the same anymore. As if she's been replaced in whole. The time is coming is about to catch up with us, yet we are still far away from. We will find a way and make it out off this. We will see the colors of live and world. But for now, we have to keep a cold head and not being dragged too much into, especially her.

"Earth to Daria, are you here?" I wave infrot of her face and see I manage to catch her attention yet she's not responding to me but lock just her eyes with mine. " You good?" I ask again while start to worry.

"Jimin?" She suddenly speaks up and sits straight up ahead of me." What do you think about if we try to be a couple and learn how to love each other besides like Friends?"

Wow. And how have I to respond to that? Daria, you make me go crazy day by Day. I mentally face palm myself. Daria.... Daria.... what should I do with you?