A Change

"I really like the story so far. Alyssa's character sounds just like an ADHD demigod, but I'm surprised that she didn't fight back in chapter 2. I also think that, if you did a quick grammar check before publishing a future story, that would greatly improve your writing. Overall, the plot and characters are great, but the actual wording could use a little bit of work. But I love the cliffhanger at the end. I believe that cliffhangers are one of a fiction writer's most important tools, because they keep the reader reading, waiting to see what happens next."