Chapter
They sit knee to knee each other in the empty room , wherein there were only two chairs. The slanting sun ’s rays were breaking through the window. They don’t warm, but it was like pricking the skin ice needles. They looked the identical as like as two peas, however, one was light , shine streamed around him and the other one was dark, there was something in his look that told you ” if i catch you, i’ll never let you go”
The dark person said in a cracked voice :
- Do you remember when it all started ?
- No, - the light man whispered.
- Then I’ll tell you. It started in your childhood. I was born with you, but I was exceedingly faint. I could only push people to manipulate you with their help.
I started with your father, I pushed him increasingly on the wrong path, so he would spend food money for booze, cigarettes,
I’ve almost done it, but your mom and granny threw it out.
-What’d you do it for? - the light man said nervously.
- I was trying to get you.- He slowly rose out of the chair and touched with black fingers the lips of his bright twin. - Shh, don’t cut me short. Then I started behaving differently. Through your mother and granny. They weren’t supposed to love you. Because of me, your mother is willing to trust other people, but not her own child. She hits you. The person closest to you breaks you, it looks incredible, isn’t she?
He slowly tapped his fingers on the back of the chair, waiting for the reaction of the light, but he remained silent, just pursed his lips and did not take his eyes off the dark man.
- Then your mom fell in love, he was a great guy, he treated you like a son, took you fishing,taught to handle electrical appliances, even if you were just a little child, I could not allow this, I took him from you. Do you remember how you sat under the table and wept that your father was cared for where he went? Then your mother had a daughter and everybody started to forget you they only once in a while beating. In kindergarten, others ran away from you and insulted you, I was already strong and had great power over those around you. Your sister was loved more than you, others thought you were strange and no one could help you.
The light person’s fingers clenched on the edges of a chair.
- Oh, I see you hurt - the dark man smirked. - In elementary school, I raised your peers’ pressure, your parents are getting further and further away from you, but that day is going to be cursed, when you picked up a book, I couldn’t get to you because my thoughts weren’t here. But I figured out a way, with the help of your classmates, they laughed at your hobby, they all had nice stuff, and you had nothing and no one. Your mother was getting farther and farther away. Your younger sister used to blackmail you. Did your grandma got wasted every day and insult you all the time ? I’ve made your life great, haven’t I?
The light man was silent.
- Remember that summer when you were twelve? Grandma was drunk again, but harder than usual, and my sister was sick and asleep. Do you remember when she started beating her? Remember how you couldn’t watch that and covered your sister with your hands? Remember how much it hurt? Do you remember realizing then that your childhood was over? Remember how you sat outside until late at night and didn’t want to go home? Do you remember? - The dark man shouted, shaking the light one of the shoulders. -When you were thirteen, I tried to take you away, all those people who abused and hurt you, I sent them to you because I wanted to take your life- he was silent for a second. All your life I’ve been slowly undermining your strength, every hurtful word they said to you I amplified, I plunged you into the abyss and did not let you get out, I wanted you to feel your weakness, nothingness, inability to act, insecurity, loneliness, rejection- with every word he said, his voice grew louder and louder, and his lips stretched in a smile.
It was obvious he liked to say all these things.
- I was drawing patterns on your skin, I was clinging to your wounded strings, but I could not reach the most important thing to break you, some thin ray of light was in you and trying to reach for the light, the joy, the happiness, I could not completely extinguish it.
- Every night I smothered you with thoughts, tears, kept you awake, I intensified all your phobias, made them look ridiculous, I made people laugh, thought you were going crazy. I made you suspicious, nervous, distrustful of anyone, angry. To those around you, I put a chitinous shell over you, an indifferent face, but when we were alone I beat you with every bad word that was said to you? And then what became of it? Because you became good at it yourself, I only occasionally nudged you when you tried to get out of my influence.
He got up and knelt in front of the light one, taking his hands in his own and squeezing them tightly until it hurt.
- You wanted to write poetry, I took that away from you. You wanted to write stories, and I wouldn’t even let you try. You wanted to diet and go to the gym, I let you feel in control for a while, but then I instilled in you that these people were the enemy and you weren’t going to get anywhere. You had so many breakdowns. Did you want to lead a productive life? I didn’t even let you get out of bed from apathy. Do you want to sing? Every time you want to sing loud or high so people can hear you, I squeeze your throat with my hand and won’t let you? Do you want to play the guitar or ukulele? Clamp a chord? I’ll strain your hands so you can’t get the sound out of your instruments. Do you want to think differently? I’ll send you one negative message. You’re a boring, useless fat man who has nothing. You’re young, but you’re old at heart. Who needs you anyway? I almost got there and destroyed you. Now, when there is no one around you, you have no one to talk to, you suffer pain and loneliness, your surroundings and you do not see the meaning of your life, why do you continue to cling to some crumbs of light and do not leave with me?-he squeezed the palms of light harder.
Light slowly lowered himself down beside darkening and placed his hand on his cheek, quietly speaking:
- You have broken me many times, but I want to believe that I will cope and come to something different, that in a world where good is considered evil I can find my way to the light. I am really tired of running away from you. I want to accept you and know that you are a part of me that you can no longer hide anywhere, because it has already happened. I want to understand you. - He pulled the dark man tightly against him. A tear slowly rolled down his cheek.
Now it was the dark one’s turn to be silent.
