The Neverending Song

I am like a never ending song that never repeats. I am unusual and not listened to frequently. When a person decides to play me though, they enjoy this song until they decide to press pause and leave again. I sing and sing and falter occasionally and then people seem to press pause on me and walk away. I am the never ending song of me wanting to be heard but not able to speak, only sing. The music I create is not of any genre you have heard but of my own with mellow beats and metal chorus´, it is not always pretty but it is my own. My own perfectly imperfect song waiting for someone to never pause.

He said he loved me, made me promises, and made me happy. He was my forever option, the one that would never press pause on my song, or so he said. He kissed me, said I deserved to be kissed the way he kissed. His hands were so soft and gentle but demanding. He was aggressive but submissive all the same and tricked me with kisses and promises of waiting. He tricked me. The great man promised to wait, he promised to not pause, he said it was real. Then he flipped, his song turned. It warped mine and made it wrong. The songs no longer twisted together in a beautiful melody, his song turned ugly. . .wrong. The promises broke. His hands disappeared. His words meant nothing. Tears ran, my song screamed, the metal corus was long, thought it would never end. Screaming and screaming but still not repeating, every scream was different bringing a new sound of pain. The songs broke no longer together, no longer a melody. They were nothing. No hope for the never ending song, it got tired, it thought about quitting. No more music to make and if there was no music then no one could pause on us. My song wanted to quit to stop screaming, to stop singing, to just end. The never ending song no longer wants to sing, no longer wants to be paused. But it needs to be heard, it needs to be listened to, it needs to keep singing.

Hope, the song sings for hope. It needs hope, it wants to give hope, the song cries when someone pauses. The people who pause though. . .they don’t hear the crying verses because they´ve paused and no longer listen to what we sing. Every time we get paused, the song wails, breaks, and then adds to the wall. we promise not to let another song get in, we promise to not care when someone pauses on us, we promise to never do a duet, to keep our song solo. Then a new song wants to be listened to, they find us, they search for a song wanting to be listened to just as much as theirs, we let our wall down and sing, we care, we hope to never be paused again. And again and again they pause, decide we are not good enough and leave, searching for a different song that repeats and is boring. A song that is easy to listen to, a song that is easier to interpret. These songs dont like us because we aren’t easy, our song never repeats, our song makes mistakes, and our song changes from genre to genre. It is hard to interpret and it isn’t an easy song to listen to. So every other song decides we are not worth the effort.

They leave and never look back. . .until they do. They get bored, they want to listen to a different song. They try to come back, they try to break down our wall, but we dont let them in, we are tired, we keep singing though but for other people. We cant let the past back in and we cant let their songs ruin ours, they don’t match up and the songs never will so. . . we dont let them in, we keep them at arm’s length and we keep looking for other songs. But not the ones that came back for a minute because they will pause and we can’t deal with that.

We are weak when it comes to this though and after their song pleading and our song remembering the good duet we break and bend and we let them in. The never ending song sings for them once again and we pray that they don’t pause but like before they do. and the never ending song starts to repeat herself, she tries to become like the others and we sing our own song but repeat, we try to make it easier to follow, we cut out some parts of our song to make it appealing. But we fail, we can’t pretend forever and we fail, we go back to our own ways with the metal chorus and mellow beats waiting for the song to duet and not leave.