Chance and Chances

It was a bright sunny morning; I was on a bus headed to Denarau Island. As usual, I stuck my head out the window to soak in the magnificent and colourful scenes that passed me by. It was mostly a blur of green and brown interrupted by the many colourful clothing of the passers-by on the pavement. The wind swept my hair about my face and the sun shone as I sat squinting out the window.

The bus stopped at all Denarau bus stops and I hopped off the bus when I reached my destination. I strolled to the first of the string of shops lining the marina. My aimless roam just found meaning when I spotted him at a distance.

He who was sitting near the water, and although he had his back to me, the straight yet messy charcoal-black hair was a dead giveaway. It made me stop in my tracks.

I got flashes of feelings and mere memories of the still scarce exchanges and soulful glances of a time that felt like a life age ago.

My first instinct was flight. It took all the strength that I could muster to take my first step toward him. I reluctantly put my other foot in place and before I could comprehend it, I found myself at his table.

I chose to meet him; for the sake of clarity, calamity, or closure I did not yet know.

He was sitting there with his camera, deep in thought seemingly about the best methods to capture the picturesque Fijian blue waters shining in the summer sun. The boats bobbed in the water while seagulls circled around for fish.

I sat down at his table. He was seated in the opposite seat staring at the sea. I had the pleasure of giving him an element of surprise as I sat down right across from him, in his field of view, so that he could neither ignore me nor instantly recognize me due to the sunlight shading my face.

The table was between us. He looked surprised to see me; however, he seemed more surprised that a stranger dared to block his view.

At first, I felt nothing. I didn’t dare to look up at his face so I sat and he was seated, so we sat and as we were seated I gathered the courage to look him dead in the eyes. His eyes recognized the eyes that beheld his youth and his happiness from an age long past. His eyes lit up with a boyish charm as he realized that it was his Kate sitting across the table from him.

He looked eagerly on as I said, ‘Hello!’ with as much cheer as a girl who meets her childhood friend after several years of zero communication could manage without sounding dreadfully animated.

His button black eyes lit and he flashed me a grin together with a cheerful and welcoming, ’Hello’! His deep calm and soothing voice was enough to get me into a bit of a breathless rant:

‘Did not fancy running into you here!’ I exclaimed.

‘What brings you back to this side of the Pacific’, I thought you were in Australia?’ I continued without waiting for his reply and added,

‘I heard that you are now a professional photographer!’ Oh! Giving a glance at his camera, I finished in an overly excited tone, ‘Are you taking photographs?’

If he was caught off guard by my over-familiarity and knowledge of his whereabouts, he did not let it be known right away.

‘Well I decided to holiday here and spend Christmas with my family and loved ones.’ he replied matter-of-factly.

‘I was supposed to go on an island day trip today but the trip was canceled because of issues with the staff schedule or something.’ he shrugged.

’Yes I was in Australia, just came to Fiji a week ago. I work there for a small studio in Melbourne, he smiled. I am indeed a ‘professional’ photographer now, and how do you like living life as a lawyer?’

I looked on in awe as he patiently answered each one of my questions, some of which were unnecessarily intrusive, and ended with a smile that exuded calm and genuine gladness in meeting me.

He was looking at me inquisitively when it occurred to me that he had asked me a question as well. I guess I wasn’t the only one stalking the other online these past seven years, I mumbled to myself.

‘It is not exactly as I had imagined it would be. It is a lot less dramatic than the films showcase. I think I was most disappointed at the revelation that the lawyers fighting a case against each other did not translate to personal ill will and heavy exchanges between the lawyers and that they were not personally involved or emotionally invested in their cases as I was led to believe,’ I finished rather breathlessly.

This rational thought process encouraged me to get grounded and comfortable. I wondered that while at times it is better to let some things be at peace and not dig the past, whether this was an opportune time to divulge these things buried for far too long. My head raced with thoughts reasoning and justifying my resolve.

I mused that I had kept it to myself long enough. I had told all the people who had nothing to do with the whole deal, hence it was only fitting that I tell the one person who it did involve, the one person who was mostly oblivious to my ordeal or maybe I was oblivious to the reality of what had transpired. In any case, I wanted to say all the things that I had kept bottled up for an eternity.

I was reluctant as I also wanted to tell him the things that I had not had the courage, willingness, or words to share with any soul till now, not even the people closest to me.

I looked at him indecisively, but his warm smile and curious eyes egged me on.

Hence, I strung together an unintelligible string of sentences in an attempt to tell him the things he didn’t know about me before I lost the momentum and the foolishness or bravery brought on by the adrenaline rush was spent.

Yet he somehow seemingly managed to understand me as I rambled on.

‘David I have missed you terribly these past years. I have been good, I have kept myself busy, I have tried really hard...I can't breathe. I know that I am the last person you probably want to see. I....I....,’ I stopped in a stutter as my eyes welled up. I stole a quick desperate glance at him, ‘we are still friends right?’

He interjected my lousy attempt at an apology,′ You never were any good at apologies. I guess some things never change. We are still friends and I will always be your friend.′

’Oh, that’s a relief! I can breathe now, I grinned sheepishly.

’So do you wanna grab something to eat? I hear the Mexican restaurant around here has really good food, David asked me while fiddling with his camera lens.

David then proceeded to quickly click a photograph of me. ‘Candid shots are the best!’ he grinned.

‘Wow! Some photographer you are! The lighting is the wrong way, David.’

‘I know Kate. I also know how terrible you are at posing for photographs. Just taking one for memories,’ he said rather seriously.

Then he mocked my infamous poses and we were temporarily transported to simpler times as we reminisced about his first attempt at fashion photography. I was his muse, we were just a couple of kids with no experience playing around. Although that did make for a good experience. We both broke out into a series of laughs. The kind that made one clutch their stomach, the kind that reached one's eyes and fed one's soul. Safe in our own little bubble. Oblivious to the world around us.