Wilbur Soot's Guide to Adopting Vigilantes

This whole ‘being a villain’ thing was starting to get really fucking boring.

It’s the same damn thing, day in, day out! Go in, steal things needed for the Syndicate, end up having to fight the stupidly fucking annoying Dream Team, barely escape with their lives and, if they’re lucky, what they originally stole, then rinse and repeat! He was honestly getting bored and irritated with it.

The villain known as Melpomene, the terrorist of the infamous villain trio known only as the Syndicate, was sitting on a rooftop, his feet dangling and bouncing off of a window behind his heels as he kept watch for his fellow Syndicate members, Apollo and Protesilaus.

The duo in question were currently inside the building he was sitting on, rummaging through papers to try and find some information on the heroes they’re up against. Not like the info they really wanted would be here anyways.

The League of Heroes would never keep their precious heroes’ identities on physical paper, after all. No, it all had to be digital. The Syndicate didn’t exactly have a hacker, so they couldn’t quite nab that information yet.

A soft tune hummed in Melpomene’s throat, One Day by a band that originated from the City-State of L’Manberg called Lovejoy. He also had his right hand held up, idly watching as mini explosions danced on his fingertips, yearning to create a larger explosion and cause some destruction. No one really lived in Logstedshire other than a few homeless bums that would rather avoid the richer part of L’Manberg anyways! Pogtopia was basically nothing but a ghost town after everyone moved to the greater L’Manberg area! He didn’t understand why Apollo kept telling him to not destroy those areas when they were literally supervillains! None of their hands were free of blood, especially those two. So what was stopping him from destroying two basically empty city districts?

That stupid oath Apollo made him and the other Syndicate members take, that’s what. Something about ′being better than our enemies.′ and ′we shouldn’t stoop to their “justice″ fueled, pitiful level.′ and blah blah blah. Fucking assholes killed my fucking friends... why shouldn’t we stoop to their level when they’ve stooped lower than low?!

As much as he would love to let his rage bubble and fuel his desire for destruction, Melpomene took a few calming breaths and grinned as he decided to make a mini firework show in front of his eyes using his explosive powers.

What else was he supposed to do while waiting for Apollo and Protesilaus to finish stealing those important papers? Pick a fight with the Number One Hero to keep himself entertained and to restrain himself from senselessly blowing up city-states and causing mass hysteria and chaos in order to simply satiate his boredom?

“Melpomene! Hands where I can see them, terrorist.”

Speak of the fucking devil and he shall appear! Melpomene grinned wickedly and glanced to his left, spotting the eye stabbing neon green cloak of the Number One Hero, Masked. His axe and sword sat on his back, ready to be either grabbed or flung via green particle swirling telekinesis at a moment’s notice.

“Masked! What a pleasant surprise!” The sarcasm dripped from his words like venom from a snake’s fangs, a smirk stretched across his soot covered face as he heaved himself upwards, standing on the ledge of the building and staring at the walking eyesore, the wind blowing past him and making his long trenchcoat billow slightly in the breeze.

“What are you doing here, Melpomene?”

“I’m just sitting here. What? Is it illegal to watch the sunset and hum a little tune from your favorite band?” He asked with a raised eyebrow, chuckling softly to himself.

“No, not normally, but it is illegal to loiter on top of a League of Heroes information hub when you’re a member of the Syndicate.”

“Oh? This is a League of Heroes information hub? I never would have guessed.” The venomous sarcasm returned, a toothy grin sat on the brunet’s face as he leaned forward. “I haven’t committed any crimes, Masked. Can’t fucking arrest me right now, can you?”

“Well, you’re a wanted criminal, so yes I can. Now, hands where I can see them!” In a flurry of green particles, Masked’s axe was at Melpomene’s throat, hovering inches from the delicately pale skin. Instead of terror, a maddened grin stretched from ear to ear.

“Just so you’re aware, you started this one, green boy.” Suddenly, Melpomene flung his left hand forward, almost pitch black powder flying from the now soot covered skin and coating Masked’s weapon and cloak, the hero letting out a loud swear before swiftly trying to smack the dust off.

A glowing orange right hand laid itself against the axe head and the villain grinned madly.

“Click, boom.” An explosion rang from the rooftop, Melpomene’s maddened laughter joining in the ringing in Masked’s ears as the hero was sent flying backwards. He crashed into a rooftop entry point on another building and groaned quietly in pain, a small bit of the now destroyed structure crumbling next to his head. The brunet villain strolled to the edge of the roof and grinned down at the hero, though his mad grin seemed... strained. Almost as if he were... faking his whole ‘mad terrorist’ schtick this time around. In the time between the explosion and Melpomene’s next words, Apollo and Protesilaus had emerged subtly from the building below the brunet. The blond villain’s wings were puffed up from adrenaline and the pinkette’s sword was drawn, ready to strike at a moment’s notice.

“That was almost too fucking easy, you green bitch! Prime Above, fighting you is starting to bore me if you keep getting hit by easy shots like that! Gonna need to hire on new heroes to actually entertain me with these little fights, Masked!”

“Shut it, bitch boy.” A new voice interjected, tinged with metal and a very heavy and thick L’Manbergian accent. The hero and villains whipped their heads upwards and saw a figure standing on another nearby roof, this one slightly more elevated than the ones the hero and villains were standing on, so the newcomer was looking down at them.

A dark maroon hoodie sat on his shoulders, hood up and covering all but a few tufts of blond hair that heavily reminded the villain of his blond companion, Apollo. A pair of brilliantly bright red, and surprisingly large, wings protruded from his back that reminded Melpomene of his father, whose pitch black wings had the same fade-to-white pattern at the end as the newcomer’s wings, as well as his own, his mother’s, and his brother’s. A vibrantly colored half gas mask sat on his face, covering his face from his nose down while an oh-so typical domino mask with whited out eyes covered the boy’s eyes. Black sweatpants and a pair of black slip-on sneakers finished the new speaker’s appearance.

What the fuck was a kid, who clearly didn’t look any older than 16 or 17, doing picking a fight with a group of well known supervillains and a fucking superhero, though?

Kid’s fucking ballsy for doing this... definitely earned my respect.

“Who the hell are you?!” Masked shouted, his sword floating next to him and pointing at the newcomer in a flurry of green particles. Though they couldn’t see the cocky grin on his face, the quartet could hear it in his voice.

“The name’s Icarus, bitch. Get fucking used to saying it cuz you’ll be seeing me a lot more! I’m gonna actually do your job since you ignore all the poor districts, you walking, talking green screen!” The boy, Icarus, puffed out his chest, pointing his thumb at his chest with a clearly arrogant grin painted on his face. Melpomene couldn’t help but snort at the vigilante’s comment, resisting the urge to verbally agree with him on that, but the barely contained smile on his face was enough. Though faint, he heard the soft chuckles of Apollo and Protesilaus behind him.

Guess the kid was also amusing to the other Syndicate members.

“Don’t forget us, Boss Man!” Another L’Manbergian accented voice tinged by metal piped up, another pair of teens appearing in a dazzling flurry of strange purple particles that danced in the air and flitted around the tallest of the 3 boys. The newcomers were clearly dressed in their own vigilante costumes.

The boy with bee wings had a full gas mask on his face, the eye lenses having the nuclear radioactive symbol on them in a vividly bright yellow. His fluffy, curly brown hair was bleached at the ends, the bleached tips curling over the top of the gas mask and sort of framing his face while two tufts stuck upwards, giving the boy the look of having mini goat horns. Despite his badass looking mask, a rather childish looking ensemble of a yellow and black striped sweater and light blue denim overalls sat on his shoulders, a small hand stitched bee on the front pocket of the overalls, and a pair of sturdy looking brownish-black boots finishing the look.

The tallest of the three stood awkwardly behind Icarus and the other boy, purple bandanna and multicolored goggles sat firmly on his face, the lenses of said goggles a vibrant green and red. His split dyed hair definitely stood out, almost vantablack on the right and a shockingly bright white on the left. They almost looked like he didn’t want to be there. The oddest part of his look though was definitely their choice in vigilante gear: he was wearing a rather fancy looking suit top, the white undershirt and jacket neatly tucked into a flowing and billowing black skirt, a peek of white fabric seen from underneath anytime they moved a certain way. No matter how much Melpomene tried to look this tall teenager in the eyes, strangely enough, his mind began to go fuzzy and he had to look away. It almost felt like someone had stuffed his head full of cotton and the strange feeling of TV static every time he made eye contact with the split dyed teen.

“Who the fuck are you two?!” Masked’s incredulous sounding voice pulled Mel out of the strangely lingering fuzzy feeling he was stuck in from the tallest teen.

“We’re Icarus’ buddies! I’m Fission and this-”

“I’m Remnant.” The tallest one, Remnant, interjected, only to be interrupted by the shorter flying brunet.

“We’re the new vigilante group, Bench-Trio!” The brunet with bee wings, Fission, said, his voice muffled and metallic from his own voice changer.

“We actually decided on that name?” Icarus asked, glancing towards his friends.

“Yeah! It was a pog suggestion, Big I!”

“Of course it was! I’m a Big Man with Big Ideas! But enough boosting my big ego. We’ve got bad guys’ asses to kick.” Fission nodded and began hovering and... buzzing? above his friends, hands shaking with energy as a small ball of neon yellow, shaking light formed in his hands. It looked unstable and volatile, much like Melpomene’s glowing orange explosions.

And Melpomene grinned at the sight.

“Another explosion power!!! Ooh, you’re gonna be a fun one to fight, Fission was it?” Melpomene said, his right hand a vibrant orange and shaking, left hand coated in soot-like black. He couldn’t see the grin on the boy’s face, but his cheeks rising was enough of an indicator that the explosive bee boy shared that sentiment. Masked was forgotten as Mel’s covered honey brown eyes stared right into Icarus’s domino mask.

The lift of the new vigilante’s cheeks and him dropping into a fighting stance was enough to show Melpomene that Icarus was eager to get this started too.

So he was the first to move.

His whole frame began to glow a faint red as he flapped his wings, taking off into the air and immediately gliding down towards the brunet villain, who threw a cloud of soot out and immediately let an explosion out, watching with an impressed grin as Icarus simply pushed through it, unaffected by the explosions as a fist connected with Melpomene’s jaw, a very heavy hitting punch. He was sent stumbling back, clutching his jaw where he was hit as a bruise began to blossom in shades of blue and purple, though he wasn’t upset.

If anything, it just fired him up even more. If he wasn’t wearing that iconic eye mask of his, his honey brown eyes would be almost glowing red with his excitement. Apollo attempted to step in when Fission came flying at him and landed a decent punch, a strange hum coming from the half bee as a sudden large swarm of bees seemingly appeared from out of nowhere (they just came from nearby trees). The insects began to buzz around the winged villain, who was staring at Icarus’s red wings through his white veil all while avoiding the bees and batting them away with his wings.

Protesilaus did his best to assist Apollo in warding off the bees, though his goal was to help Melpomene deal with Icarus. When he noticed that, the brunet grinned madly, a genuinely spine chilling grin filled with maddened glee, at his companion, dingy dark blue mask glowing a faint red as he shook his head.

“This one’s mine, Protesilaus.” He suddenly heard a rather hard hitting bass line. Music?! He could have sworn he also heard the faintest monotone whisper of Now Playing: Pigstep right before the music had started. Protesilaus froze at the sound of the music, eyes darting around as he started slowly bobbing his head to the beat, seemingly unable to control his head movements. The brunet villain glanced at Icarus, who was lightly bobbing his head to the rhythm playing, humming along softly before he suddenly snapped his gaze back up to Melpomene and leapt forward, throwing another punch that landed even harder than before. He was ready for it this time, though, and barely dodged the blow, still somehow getting a light stinging pain from the missed punch.

The dodge didn’t stop Icarus’s aggressive advances, swinging with precision and rather good form as he landed blow after blow on Melpomene. Though he struggled, the brunet villain in question grinned as he finally managed to start exchanging blows instead of just eating them up, landing a few solid hits of his own. He totally didn’t feel slight guilt from fighting a teenager who looked like he was fresh out of high school. No. Not at all.

As the five people fought, Remnant stood off to the side, ready to jump in at a moment’s notice to snatch his friends and warp away. Though he soon had to warp around due to Masked now trying to arrest him.

Icarus landed blow after solid blow on Melpomene, which definitely surprised the villain as that odd bass song, Pigstep he suspected, continued playing, seeming to empower the blond and make his punches hit harder. Though the song soon came to an end and his punches grew a tad weaker, Icarus still didn’t relent. By now, Melpomene’s skin was littered with bruises, which the man would show off with pride if he could.

“Mel! We gotta fucking move, mate! Masked just called more fucking heroes as backup!!!” Apollo shouted, catching the brunet’s attention. Said brunet grinned at Icarus and gave a two finger salute before flinging black soot into the young vigilante’s face and launching himself away with an explosion.

“This little game of ours isn’t over, Icarus!” He shouted before Apollo’s clawed talons gripped his shoulder and he was suddenly airborne, wind flying by as he watched the red wearing vigilante grow further and further away.

Well... this certainly spiced up being a villain again. Vigilantes who were going to help in the poorer areas of D’esempee, like the Vision Trio? And young ones who were directly challenging the heroes like that? Challenging Masked of all fucking heroes and managing to hand Melpomene’s, the second most dangerous member of the Syndicate, second only to a blood rage fueled Protesilaus, ass to himself?

The thought made the brunet villain grin eagerly at the new and exciting development in his villain life, wind whipping past his face, new bruises from the blows landed by Icarus slowly blossoming with pain on his skin. His fluffy brown hair briefly blocked his vision as Apollo flew away with himself and Protesilaus held tightly in his talons. Papers were gripped tightly in Protesilaus’ hand, fluttering in the wind as Apollo began to tear into the brunet villain for starting a fight without them there, but said villain wasn’t really listening.

His mind was on the new blood in the hero-villain scene.

Let’s see what these new vigilantes have planned.

A/N: New project pog! I hope you guys enjoyed the very first chapter of Wilbur Soot’s Guide to Adopting Vigilantes cuz I sure enjoyed writing it lol. This story has been on a back burner since before BBIJLY! So I’m very excited to finally share this fic with you all! We have a Discord server! Feel free to join it and meet other fans of my writing/talk to me directly! https://discord.gg/RQCTq65z8d And yes, this was VERY heavily inspired by TommyInnit’s Clinic for Supervillains by bonesandthebees. No, this is not a repost. This is an original work with inspiration from the well known SBI fic. Anyways, love you all /fam! Make sure you drink water, eat food, and take your meds if you need to take meds! Bye guys!

Word Count: 2933