Chapter 1
“Heidi, slow down! We are going to fall!” A voice said, breaking the silence.
The sun was blazing, scorching hot, but a nice refreshing breeze was blowing and shaking the leaves of the full bloomed flowers and trees. Everything looked so peaceful and serene, like a scene from an idyllic painting. That serenity though didn’t last long, as all things in life did at one point, as the law of nature dictated.
Two ladies almost identical had made this secluded small part of land their own. One was older than the other, maybe in her early 40s with a heart shaped face, natural full lips, a thin figure, auburn hair and brown eyes. The second one was like a younger miniature version of the older lady, except for her shining emerald green eyes. They both had their hair braided with bright colored flowers and wore white sundresses and looked so beautiful and yet so out of place in this valley in paradise. Oh how loud and vivid they were, as they spin around, holding hands and laughing out loud.
Suddenly the spinning stopped and the older lady kneeled down to the younger one and whispered in her ear. “I love these little moments with you, I miss you so much.”
“I miss you too mom! Let’s go home, dad and Carry are waiting for you.” said the younger one, in a loud and pleading voice. A sad smile crossed her mother’s face and at the slight shake of her head, the little girl’s begging intensified. “I promise I’ll be a good girl, please come with me” she pleaded, but when she went to grab her mother’s hand, everything became distorted.
At once all movement had stopped, as if a sudden winter had come and had frozen all the flowers and trees. The younger one’s eyes widened with utter fear, watching her mother’s body slowly disappear. She moved fast as a lightning bolt, trying to grasp her hand and hug her tightly one last time. However, before she could do any of those things, her mother disappeared and in her place there was nothing, only ash slowly falling to the unmoving grassland.
She screamed, kneeling down, clawing at the hard ground with her bare hands. “Mom?!”
Dirt and ashes are mixed and spread around her and she finds herself in a dead-end with no answers or clues. There was nothing left behind though and any remaining ashes were soon enough absorbed into the ground like they never existed. The younger girl screamed again and again for her mother, while lifting her head up and looking at the now darkening sky. The little valley was undergoing an immense transformation around its only human occupant. Where once was vegetation, beautiful flowers, blooming trees and dandelion petals flying around the fields, now there was only desolate land, bare of any life and joy, a forsaken place left overlooked even from God’s own eyes.
Tears blurred the little girl’s vision and she closed her eyes, truly scared to see what happens next. Although she certainly knew that her mother would not return, nor would they have the chance to dance again in the valley that did not exist anymore, at least in this life…
***
Heidi woke up breathless, throwing my bed sheets off of her and almost jumping out of bed. Slowly sitting back down, she took some needed deep breaths and let her heart settle down for a second. She had another dream of mom, yet another memory of them, from when she was little. Dancing and spinning around in her grandparents' old house near the fields, whilst her dad had stayed by the shade watching over them with a soft smile. It was a beautiful memory she wished to never forget and one her mind seemed too keen on reminding her of, from time to time in her dreams. Although in the end, it was always distorted, since even her semi-conscious self had a knack for never letting her forget the reality that she was gone and she was not coming back.
Her death had come unexpectedly more than two years ago, but even if it hadn't been unexpected, she didn't think it would have hurt any less. They were together when the accident happened and She was the only survivor. She liked to think that in her last moment on earth Heidi had been privileged to be with her and she didn't leave her alone. Being the one left behind though, left her reeling and drowned in guilt, to the point where it almost felt impossible to go on. Time and being around her family surely helped with that. However, in reality she didn't think she would ever get over the aftermath of the accident, completely.
Finally feeling a bit calmer and centred, Heidi eventually leaned back on the bedpost and took a look around her. Her room was nearly dark, apart from the light that slipped through her window shades, and thankfully it was also empty. It wouldn’t have been the first time she screamed in my sleep and woke up my family. Those times though, happened during the first months that she was gone and now they were far behind her. It hadn't been easy and she had needed to speak to someone about it, to let out her feelings from the place she had confined them.
She was, no had been..
Heidi hated it when she had to remind myself of this difference in grammar. It was a simple use of the past tense, but to her it changed everything and was still a reminder among many others. There was a huge endless list of them that she couldn't recount even if she wanted to and her thoughts and words were also part of them.
She had not been just her mom, she had been the person she could lean on, her inspiration and her biggest fan, second to none, except maybe to her dad. She had been one of the most amazing people to walk upon this earth and she loathed how sometimes it was so easy to forget her, as their time apart only kept on magnifying. Heidi let out a deep breath and shook her head, officially leaving the ride down memory lane and getting back on the present. She checked my phone, expecting it to be the crack of dawn. Instead she found the time was already 8am and got up in panic, running to the bathroom.
After her mom was gone she had to help her dad with her little sister, Carry, and usually she got up early to help around. Today was different though, since from today onwards her grandparents were going to arrive and stay around to help them. Her grandparents from her dad's side lived so close to them, she could call them neighbors. After their retirement things changed. They decided to be word explorers and she could not blame them. The last time they had taken her along on a trip to Italy, she had the time of her life and made unforgettable memories. The last few months they decided to start traveling again, after they stopped so abruptly due to the unexpected and unpleasant circumstances they all found themselves in. Their vacation time had gone too long according to them and it was time for a break. They wanted to spend time at home and with their grandchildren. It was also a lovely coincidence that their break would start now, because their arrival was not the only life changing thing for her family and especially for herself.
Today's biggest difference was that in a couple of hours the auditions to enter the School of Arts would begin. The School of Arts, as its name indicated, represented all the arts: architecture, visual arts, literary arts and of course performing arts. Additionally it was the most amazing place in the whole world to study at. Heidi might be a little biased, but it was where dreams came true and from where so many talented and successful people had passed through on their way to glory.
A quick shower later, she brushed my teeth and hair, and put on the outfit she had chosen the previous night. The pants came on first and the shirt followed, while she silently patted herself on the back for thinking about the clothes ahead of time. In her nervous rush she didn't think she would have made the best or any decision in that matter. Feeling ready as ever, she took a quick look at herself in the mirror before she left the room and smiled. She was dressed casually yet elegantly, in black jeans and a white collared shirt with stripes on the sleeves. Her outfit was not memorable, but it let her features, her most important attribute, shine through. Her auburn hair was loose, falling down her shoulders and the red in them was especially highlighted in the morning light. However, the show-stoppers were her eyes, which looked overly bright and sparkly today.
Finishing my little perusal, Heidi grabbed my bags and walked to the kitchen in a hurry, as the time ticked by and the excitement of the day took the better of her. Suddenly, while looking down, she bumped into something or more accurately someone.
“Oh, good morning! Look where you are going sweetheart, man walking here.” Her dad said and gave me a kiss on the head.
“Good morning, dad, I just wasn’t expecting you to be awake.”
“This is a big day, Heidi! How could I have slept through?” he asked, not really waiting for an answer and stepped around to let me pass. “I wanted you to have a good start today,” he waved his hand towards the kitchen table. “So I made you breakfast.”
She gave him a hug. “Thank you dad, really”
Heidi might not say it out loud but that hug was as much for him as it was for her. She loved my dad and when he went out of his way to do those little things she loved him even more. He might have said he couldn't be sleeping right now, however she could see the truth just by looking at him. Her dad, who in the mornings was always ready to seize the day, already dressed with perfectly fixed hair and a clean shaven face, was replaced by a man still dressed in his pajamas with messy hair and a five o'clock shadow. This was a major clue and it clearly stated that her dad was sleeping and woke up late. Despite that he still had wanted and had managed to surprise her with a full breakfast, before she could leave.
He put a plate in front of her. “I know you’re super jittery, but please take at least a bite. You will be thanking me later.” She swallowed the urge to roll her eyes and sat at the kitchen table and started to eat. “Anything you need, call me at any time, I know you can do it and never doubt that, okay?”
She really did appreciate his words, but this time she did roll my eyes a little bit. “Yes, dad.” she drawled.
"Do you want orange juice or some milk?" he asked, bringing a glass out of the kitchen cupboard.
"I'm not a child dad."
He placed a cup of orange juice next to her plate. "Thank you for reminding me, sweetheart. Do you want some vodka with that, my adult daughter?" he said sarcastically, pointing at my cup.
She snorted a laugh, like usual at his joke attempts. "No, I'm fine, thank you."
In any other given time, she would have asked for seconds, but today her eggs and toast tasted more like ashes. She ate her whole plate though, while watching her dad making his coffee in a not so artful way than usual. The smell of coffee filled the kitchen and the sound of cursing from her dad filled her ears.
She was almost finished, when he took a sip of his burned coffee and looked up to the clock. “It’s almost time to wake Carry up. Can you wait a few minutes so we can take you to the School together or will you be running late?” he asked.
Heidi was literally screaming 'NO' inside her head and she was pretty sure her eyes were wide with terror. “It’s okay dad, I am going to be late, if we wait any longer, I’ll just take the bus.”
He came up to her and for the second time today she found herself inside his loving embrace. “Okay sweetheart, you go there and show them. Don’t be too nervous, I know how you get sometimes. Just know that I love you and I am so proud of you and she would have been too.”
“Dad it’s time, I have to go”
She squeezed him a bit too hard, to convey my gratitude and also to stop from hearing more about mom. Cause she knew if he continued tears would be coming soon enough.
As she got up, he reached for my back and placed her big purple travel cup in her bag in a hurry. “Oh don’t forget this, it's a protein smoothie in case you need the energy or get hungry." He informed her, always thinking about everything beforehand and preparing for the unexpected.
Her dad was the best person to go on a vacation with, since he would have all you could ever need already prepared for the whole trip. He'd know which way to go, which bus to take, where to eat, what to see and who to call in an emergency. That person of course in her case would always be him. In her experience, be it an emergency or not, she had come to understand that her father would move heaven and earth to help her.
Letting go of her back, he hugged once more and hopefully for the last time this morning. "Good luck sweetheart.” He said close to her ear.
"Thank you." She replied, after she stepped away from him and gave him a bright smile.
Taking her phone, keys and bags with all her necessities and of course her dance clothes and shoes, she waved goodbye and walked to the door. Soon she was out of her home, out of the building and in front of the bus stop in milliseconds.
