The Lost Trill

Have you ever felt so alone, so unwanted that if you disappeared, nobody would notice. Or If you died nobody would care to come say good bye as they put your remains in the ground. This story is about such a person. Born different and nobody ever explained why. Bullied, abused, deceived and slandered so much he even started to doubt himself. Many people are born into such families. Relegated to the back rows of pictures or taught how to work the camera so the family picture wouldn’t have him or her in it. Starved for love and affection.

Denied the normal trials experience and errors of adolesince. Beaten and spat upon by others till they have a use for them. And then use them even if it got them into trouble. Some call them misfits of society. A lost culture of people whose only fault was being born different.

It was February 3rd, in the year 2238. The educational system even with all its advances still had a social sub culture of survival of the fittest. A young man noticed a change in some of his alien friends. Their families came to earth to live and assist the newly formed United Federation of Planets. His name was Jarrod and it was his birthday. He was different and was brutally bullied. The head master at the educational facility cared little about squabbles amongst the students as long as they kept their grades up. Himself, a believer in corporal punishment. He subscribed to the theory of survival of the fittest to toughen up those who struggled to maintain the status quoi. It was Jarrod’s birthday and even that sick bastard remembered. It gets exhausting having to constantly guard yourself from being sucker punched or slammed into a locker as others passed you by treating you as if you don’t exist, or just in the way.

The early days at the academy were a litany of being shoved around and being laughed at for not understanding it’s wrong to talk to anybody other than your own clustered group of misfits. Despite my record of disciplinary corrections I had managed to barely keep up my grades. And, was set to graduate with my class. Today was my birthday. Jinko was my friend. He knew right away it was ok to talk to me and even though it made him a social target he took up for me and I for him. Human children can at times be more cruel and vicious than Klingon’s. He walked by me and simply said happy birthday and acted as if he was being watched. A few steps back I saw why. The administrator of the orphanage he was living in was walking with him. He had called him out of school on the pretense of being interviewed for adoption.

I knew something was wrong. People at his place had a habit of turning up dead or missing. Here lately, even the automated Lawgivers were taking a notice. I followed him from a long distance and found him and Jinko in his office. What he was doing to my friend sickened me. Between all that I had been through that nobody believed I snapped and smashed a chair and proceeded to beat him to death with a broken leg. Jinko had never seen me so mad before. The look alone, in my eyes made him run and hide. I didn’t stop till I beat his face off of his body and covered in his blood I went to go search out and find my Jinko. The other kids ran from his room and I found him there. He had cut an artery and all I tried to do to save him didn’t work. I hit the emergency call button and transported with him to a hospital. They cared little for lost people like us.

They made more of a fuss that my friend was making a mess on the floor. Jinko’s big black eyes looked at me. Gurgling he said, its better this way. Let me go. Two law givers had started closing in on me. All I could think about was my friend dying in my arms. I held him close and said, I promise you. The place you are going, there are no bullies there and you will be loved. I will witness your passing for you. You did nothing wrong and I what you to know you are loved.

He wrapped his tiny arms around my neck as I hugged him to my chest. In his last whisper all he could say was thank you and then his arms went limp and fell away from my neck.

I sat there and looked up at the automated robot. All he said was he was sorry for my loss. It was just programming. But that compassion was more than he ever got at school. Hospital personnel rolled a gurney over with an open body bag on it wearing has mat suits, they gently picked him up and placed him in the bag and slowly zipped it shut. That was the last time I saw my friend Jinko. He meant no harm to anybody. All he wanted was to graduate and go see the stars. Twelve years prior, his parents were killed in a transporter accident. There was nobody to grieve for him. Nobody, but me. They wouldn’t let me see him anymore. To everybody else he wasn’t a person anymore.

Just a piece of meat zipped up in a bag, kept near frozen as evidence. I was kept in the hospital they cut my cadets uniform off of me and saved it as evidence. At the trial it was uncovered that the head of the orphanage was using his own alien children for his own personal sick twisted fantasies. Seven other bodies in varying stages of decay were found.

And evidence of several disintegrations was discovered. I had committed malice murder in beating him to death. But nobody ever charged me with any crime. My mind raced with a thirst for revenge against all of mine and his tormenters. A multitude of tortures all designed to make those bullies scream themselves to death. After the hospital and trial everybody knew I was dangerous and avoided even looking at me. The matter escalated when my biggest tormenter tried his wares on me again. What he didn’t know was sitting there in that waiting room holding my friend Jinko as he died all my compassion for anything human died with him. Now it was time to make him fear me.

He pushed me into a locker and I grabbed him and slammed him face first into one then with all my strength I yanked him across the hall into another, then I dropped him in a pool of his own blood. He laid there completely surprised and at the top of my lungs I screamed at him making him shiver with fear. Everybody went running. The head master came running up and I stopped him dead in his tracks screaming at him. He said nothing. The injured cadet was helped away. And I walked over to my locker and pulled out my back pack and cleaned out my locker. Four days away from graduating, I walked away from the academy. I sat in my room burning old books and school supplies and paper’s the rest I vaporized.

The head master sent an Administrative robot to come get me. In a fit of rage I tore it to pieces and left it in my room. Walking across the wide concrete plaza, many of my class mates were back pedaling to get out of my way. I knocked nicely on his door and waited for him to allow entry. I turned the knob and pushed the door open. I stood back as he stood I looked from side to side. To make sure there were no more robots. The head master said I assure you we are alone.

Taking the head master at his word one last time, I walked in and gently closed the door. Not looking at him all I said was I’m sorry about the mess in the hall. He said the guilty party is cleaning it up. I looked at him with eyes filled with rage and grief.

All I wanted to do was fit in and your monsters wouldn’t allow it. Not for me or for my friend Jinko. He died in my arms feeling like nobody wanted him or even loved him. That sick bastard just used him like a piece of meat.

The head master sat down slowly. He had seen rage like this before on his own face when the Klingon’s killed his friend on the last ship he was serving on. He had two Graduation certificates with full papers made up, laying on his desk. One was in my name and one in Jinko’s name. I looked at his picture. And then I looked at mine. And handed them back saying you forgot to sign them.

He asked where you will go. I said any place but here. Any planet, but here. Any galaxy, but here. I never want to be here again. Take your cadets and send them off to die in your war. The last of my care died with Jinko. He knew there was no persuading me so he signed both and rubber stamped the signatures. I set the head of the robot droid he sent me, down on his desk, and said your droid needs some maintence. The rest is in my old room. I took mine and Jinko’s papers and packed them in my bag the head master said Son, I know you are in pain. With great restraint I said Sir, First, I am not your son.

A father would have listened to all the complaints of embarrassment and bullying from his son and stepped up and done something about it. What did you do? I know what you did. You thought it would toughen me up well if you don’t like the monster you see go look in the mirror and pat yourself on the back because I blame you as well as all the others for making me. I am not your son. Jinko and others like me deserved better. So much, for your fracked up Federation Ideals. The bastards wouldn’t even let me clean him so he can be cremated clean in accordance with his own people’s customs.

They just tossed his frozen corpse in a machine, flipped a switch and he was gone. Where was your vaunted Federation Ideals then? He was a cadet. He had good grades. All he wanted to do was see the stars. And now he’s part of them forever. He wanted to say more but feeling his restraint start to slip I held up my hand and gently opened the door walked out and gently closed it. That was the last I ever saw him again. I hopped a freighter and went to work. I followed orders and did all I was tasked to do. I spent the next eight years. Roaming the outer quadrant of the galaxy hopping one freighter after another. I developed a reputation amongst the captains as a loyal hard working crew member so finding work was no problem. Finally, I had raised enough money to buy a small ship and start to fend for myself. I loaded up a shipment and didn’t even know what it was. Back then you knew that to get work, not to ask many questions. I always got a thumbprint so the cargo was their responsibility and not mine if it had illegal contraband. I saw some men toying with somebody. Knowing my history about being bullied I checked it out. It was a Vulcan woman barely out of her teens all covered in mud. I stunned them all grabbed the woman and left before they could wake. She was shaking with fear and kept trying to touch the side of my head. I set course and locked the auto pilot then I took her to my quarters and washed the mud off her face. She was beautiful. Her eyes were so full of fright. As the shower’s water warmed her body I simply held her till her shivering finally stopped.

She recognized a few of my words and said Help me….. Please.. She placed her fingers on the side of my head. And her mind spoke to me. She was dying. Her people were Vulcan’s and she was in a physical state she called Pon Far. I spoke to her mind to mind and said, I don’t know if I can help, but I will try. Use me for what you need. What happened next was far different than I had ever known. My mind was a mix of blinding flashes of memories of pain and torture. She was kept as a slave on a ship and broke free.

They knew she was in need and would have to give in to their desires. She fought them off but was getting weaker when I came. Her Pon Far had exploded inside her and what happened as we joined both in mind and body really shocked me. I had had my share of fun with the pleasure girls from time to time but this was way beyond anything I had ever known. I awoke to a buzzing sound and had to run and make a course correction. She slowly followed behind me as I reset the auto pilot. Wordlessly, she was rubbing my shoulders and back.

She was incredibly agile and strong. Her slender body was a total delight to look at and watch as she walked around. Standing there she said I learned your language from your mind. You helped me. Now, I help you. She took me by the hand back to our quarters and we made love with a new passion. Her touch was velvety soft and warm. We linked again and she said you know much pain. It’s time to know joy. We spent most the voyage getting to know each other.

My mind was feeling better. What she was doing for the rest of me brought me a joy I had never known. We went from job to job together.

We were mated and nothing else mattered anymore. Some nights I would cry in my sleep and she would comfort me. She read my mind and saw what happened. We had become inseparable. Her eyes sparkled when she looked at me. Then one day as we were eating. She said, I know you still cry inside. Cry for your friend, Jinko. On my world this is a great honor to be remembered and loved so much.

You helped him to pass. It meant everything to him and his kind. Jarrod you don’t just say you love you show you love. That makes you different from all the others. You starve for what you give. Her eyes sparkled with joy. She kissed me and whispered let me give you my love.

My restraint was gone I was tired and hungry for what she had and what I had on the table. As the fog began to clear in my mind two hours had passed. The food was cold and I didn’t even care. All I felt was all she felt. Strange thing the ability was coming from me and not her but she accepted me with open arms and now we are mated completely and I was happy. In her mind I heard her laugh it made my heart skip a beat. I was held and I was loved. We were together and that was all that mattered.

We started taking on shipments to the smaller colony’s of the Federation. The work was regular and I never had to chase down the shipper for payment. Federation credits were backed by Gold pressed latinum, provided by the member planets as they joined. I hated the pajama wearing bastards but their money was good and they had plenty of work.

We took some credits over to the exchange center and went to go to the base commissary to eat and buy some provisions. We were sitting at a table when a particularly rude Federation soldier came over. Clearly he had too much to drink.

He said I like your female, how much? Restraining, I said, my wife is not for sale or for use. Her eyes sparkled like cosmic lightening firing across a nebula. I had always referred to T’Lin as my mate never my wife. The soldier said, I don’t care. Let the lady decide. Leaning back, I said fair enough. I grinned at T’Lin. The soldier said, come with me and he grabbed her arm. With the graceful moves of a practiced dancer she stood and proceeded to bounce the inebriated soldier from one wall of the place to another.

He finally landed flat against the far wall and Tlin let him go. She said first you forgot to say please. The drunken soldier said Please? She let him drop to the floor and said No!. The soldier passed out saying yes maim. An Admiral walked over and was snickering. He grabbed up a chair and turned it around to sit. He said you didn’t tell him she was a Vulcan did you. I told the man she wasn’t for sale or hire.

He said let the lady decide. Looks like she did. Still snickering Admiral Brannon said I’ll blank out the remainder of his credits and send him back to his ship to sleep it off. He should have enough to pay for all this damage. He asked I guess you will be on your way soon them. I caught his meaning. I said well I have this cart here and we were eating dinner, I’d say we will be on our way in what 40 minuets.

The Admiral smiled and said 40 Minuets it is then. As the Admiral started to get up he said, it was a pleasure to meet you T’Lin. Live Long and Prosper. She raised an eyebrow. You know my people and their ways. He said some of their ways. A good friend was killed fighting the Klingons. I never got fully educated. Just polite conversation.

Placing my Elbo on the table I offered T’Lin two fingers. She could hide her emotions from the President of the UFP but never from me. Slowly she took my two fingers and touched them with hers. I asked Admiral can you still administrate a union or Marriage, even out here in space? He smiled and said, it would be my pleasure.

You load up I’ll be by in a little while. He left and we ate the rest of our meal in relative quiet. Her eyes were talking a mile a minute. They flashed and sparkled like twinkling stars. There in that commissary my Vulcan princess let a small smile cross her face. It was only briefly but it meant the world to me.

True to his word 40 minuet’s later we had finished loading and was almost ready to leave when he came by with two armed soldiers in tow. I first sensed trouble. But he raised his hand to say I never walk through this place alone. I shook his hand and said welcome aboard. We had set up a small out of the way spot in the cargo bay. T’Lin was big on ceremony but not on dressing up. We both changed into clean uniforms. She unfolded a Shawl of woven gold and emerald green and draped it on her head.

Standing before the two of us the Admiral started to speak. All I heard was his small story about ever since the day of wooden ships sailing on the ocean all ship captains have had the happy ability to unite two people together in the bonds of Holy Matrimony. After that it was all a blur. I placed my two fingers on the side of her head and she did the same to me. What passed between us was a bonding that passes all understanding.

We each repeated what the Admiral told us to and sealed our bond with a kiss. My body felt like lightening flowed through it. He smiled and said did you hear what I said? Shaking my head, I said sorry, what did you say? He smiled and snickered saying I’ve seen it before. You two just keep going like you are. And then he signed my Fleet Identification papers. Filled out the place for marriage and T’Lin placed her finger print beside her name. He shook both our hands and said Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Jarrod Connor. We kissed some more. Linked in the bond of marriage she was happier than I had ever seen her. We took off soon after he left and set course for the colony. Tlin and I had no barriers any more. We shared openly, both painful and joyous memories.

Smiling, the memories of our life together were filled with wondrous things. She taught me how to meditate. How to heal more and let go of some of the painful memories my brain was scarred with.

One day, maybe the people of Earth will realize that words can slice a soul as much as a knife can cut the skin. Then just maybe I might start to think of them being civilized.