Her Eternal Choice

Belle stumbled backwards to the wall and slid down to the floor. Her eyes glued to the little contraption in her hand. She closed her eyes tight a moment, hoping she was imagining the word on its digital screen. She opened her eyes again and groaned. That word came whistling into her mind and exploded. BANG! PREGNANT!

How could this be? We were so careful! she thought to herself. “NOOOOOOO!”

“Belle, Are you all right? What’s wrong?” Patricia, Belle’s mom asked knocking on the door.

“Shoot!” Belle whispered before hollering, “I’m fine, Mom. I just accidentally dropped my ring in the toilet. I’ll be able to get it out, though.”

Pregnant! Pregnant! Evil little monkeys chanted dancing around the bombed out wreckage of her mind. This can’t be happening! I have two more years of high school, college, and then residency.

She grabbed the towel from the rack, wadded it up, and screamed into it. Then she gasped for breath and screamed again. “This can’t be happening!” She muttered to herself. For a long time, Belle stared at the painting hanging above the toilet. It was of a magnificent landscape. A regal range of mountains stood stoically in the background. They were robed in trees of every shade of green, with some of them changing to their autumn glory. A meadow lay before the mountains with clusters of lilies and blue belles in the foreground. Yet, all Belle really saw were the evil monkeys chanting, Dirty diapers, violent vomit, ceaseless screaming!

“Belle, are you sure you’re ok?” Patricia asked through the door.

“I’m fine, Mom!”

“Well than hurry up! Yedi is waiting for you in the living room.”

YEDI? Suddenly Belle saw hot red light. Roaring, crackling flames sprang up in her chest. A bull was huffing and snorting. It pawed against her chest before charging, bellowing as it ran. She bolted up, yanked the door open, and charged down the hallway toward the living room.

In the living room, Yedidyah sat in one of the tan Maserati lounge chairs with his hand resting on his ankle. “Congrats on the game, Son! You, guys, gave those Lakers a proper thrashing!” Mr. Larson boomed coming into the living room. He handed his navy blue business jacket to the maid before taking his cardigan with the Aztec design on it from her.

“Thank you, Sir! If we beat the Beavers next week, we will go to state!” Yedidyah smiled as he nearly shouted the news.

Suddenly, Yediyah’s conscience pinched the back of his brain. He jumped out of his seat, and unsure of what to do with his hands, he stuffed them into his leather jacket pockets. “Mr. Larson,” he forced himself to look the middle age man in his piercing blue eyes as he apologized, “I came to apologize to Belle, Mrs. Larson, and to you. I should not have left Belle in St. Paul, the way I did. It was cowardly and wrong!”

Mr. Larson grinned thumping Yedidyah on the shoulder as he stated, “That is big of you, Son. No need to worry! Belle will get over it.” He plopped his almost six foot frame into the rose colored with gold floral print cocktail chair. “Sit, Son, no need to be nervous. So, you went and got yourself a new religion! What was wrong with the old one? Did it finally break down after five thousand years!” Mr. Larson threw his head back, laughing at his own joke. He thumped the arm of his chair. Yedidyah took a deep breath and swallowed hard, trying to check the heat that was clamping on his chest and quickly flowing to his brain. “Well you see Sir...” he started to explain, with a forced effort to keep his voice even.

“Yedidyah Cohen! I can’t believe your nerve!” Yedidyah turned to see Belle charging toward him around the corner of the hallway.

She was wearing a baby blue tank top with purple, pink, and white flowers and yellow short shorts that were frayed at the ends. Her auburn curls were flying everywhere. Her jaw was set rigid and her eyebrows were knit together.

“Princess!” Mr. Larson raised his hand entreatingly to his daughter as he crooned, “Give the lad...”

“Daddy,” Belle shouted, swearing, “Shut up!” She grabbed Yedidyah by the arm of his jacket.

Before he really could realize what was happening, he was being dragged down the hall and into Belle’s room. She shoved him onto her bed before slamming the door. The back of the door was covered in posters of boy bands. On the dresser opposite the bed was a huge mirror and dancing competition trophies arranged neatly. A flower makeup bag rested against the mirror. A gentle breeze blew in from the open window, and the sunflower curtains danced.

Yedidyah involuntarily shook his shoulders as he could feel the thorny vines of his past with Belle creep up his back from the blood red rose print, cotton sheets. He quickly stood up and held his ground when Belle tried to push him back down. Holding his hands up in surrender, he calmly whispered, “Belle, you have every right to be angry. I under...”

“ANGRY! OH, I’m past angry, Yedidyah Cohen! I’m furious, irate, livid!” She again tried to shove him down, but he stood solid. “You have some nerve! You promised me a life free of religion, you got me pregnant, then you decided you needed religion in your life! You RAN out on me! Now, two months later you feel the need to apologize!?”

Yedidyah sank to his knees as the fuchsia walls began to spin extremely fast. Belle pregnant!? He gasped for breath. The room seemed void of air.

YOU WORTHLESS SINNER! WHAT AN IDIOT TO THINK YOU COULD BE FORGIVEN AFTER GETTING BELLE PREGNANT! An evil voice cackled in his ear.

“Are you certain?”

“You got to be kidding me right now!” Belle screeched at the top of her lungs. “You are just trying to avoid responsibility right now!”

Yedidyah placed his hands into the soft blue and white strands of the latch hook rose print rug. He made himself think about the day he gave Belle this latch hook rug kit. It had been a cold wintery day and the two of them had curled up on the couch watching chic flics while Belle worked on it. Odd, she kept it if she hated him so much now. He took a deep breath as he slowly rose to his feet, fighting the heat that was quickly rising again. It hadn’t fully receded from Mr. Larson’s joke. “BELLE,” he started in a voice that was louder and more forceful than he intended. He closed his eyes and took another deep breath.

Across from him Belle watched as he slowly let his breath out. She could smell the sharp freshness of spearmint on his breath. Something about the familiarity of the smell caused a switch to flip in her brain. All of the anger quickly drained from her.

She burst into tears, falling against him. He wrapped his arms around her. His chest heaved out with a heavy sigh.

His chest heaved again as he breathed deeply in through his nose. His heart was beating rapidly against Belle’s cheek. She rubbed her cheek against his leather jacket and inhaled deeply the woodsy smell of his cologne.

“Belle, I was wrong to leave you in St. Paul. I was wrong to not come apologize to you sooner. I am truly sorry! I hope you will forgive me.” He cupped her cheek in his hand and gently brushed at the tears sliding down her rosy cheeks.

He let her go, closing his eyes. Yeshua, please would you forgive me of this sin, he silently prayed.

“How long have you known?” Yedidyah asked looking into her watery blue eyes. She rubbed hard at the tears with the palm of her hand. She then held up her other fist and opened it revealing the home pregnancy test. Yedidyah stared at it long and hard. He closed his eyes and opened them again. It still lay in Belle’s hand.

Av is going to kill me! Eema is going to die of shame! He thought to himself as he shook his bowed head. Oh Adonai what have I done?! he prayed.

Belle stared at the evil contraption and then back at Yedidyah’s bowed curly brown head. DIRRRR-TEEE DIIIAPERRRS! NO SSSSSLEEEEEP! CON-STANT CRYING! Say good-bye to your dreams! This fetus will....The evil monkeys taunted Belle, dancing around the ruins of her grand neurosurgeon dreams.

“I want an abortion!” Belle declared and Yedidyah’s head shot up, “And you will...”

“NO!” Yedidyah interrupted, his brown eyes grew big. His hands shot up to Belle’s shoulders. “PLEASE BELLE! Don’t add this sin to our shoulders!”

Belle jerked away from him. “SIN?” She shoved him in the chest again, but he didn’t budge. “Abortion is my right, not a sin! You got me into this mess! You...”

Yedidyah interrupted Belle once more, “Belle, please, I will support you and the baby. Don’t put blood on our hands.”

“Yedidyah Cohen, there is no ‘me and the baby.’ This is a clump of tissue that I want gone!”

“Belle, that isn’t true! That is....”

Belle went on her tiptoes to put one hand on the nape of his neck and one hand on his mouth. She looked him square in his brown eyes with a vicious fire burning in her blue eyes. “You will pay for the abortion.”

His eyebrows knit together, and he glared at her as he shoved her hand away. “I will do no such thing!”

He shoved passed her and yanked the door open. He stormed down the hallway and through the living room.

“Yedi, my boy..” Mr. Larson called out, but Yedidyah didn’t even pause. He slammed the front door and ran down the porch steps.

Back in her room, Belle paced back and forth fuming, “URGH!” She threw her pillow, picked it up and threw it again.

“Belle, what is this foolishness!” Patricia walked in with her fists on her hips.

“That jerk got me pregnant, but is refusing to pay for my abortion.” Belle thrust her hand at the window where the roar of Yedidyah’s motorcycle was diminishing.

“Oh, wow!” Patricia stopped cold in her tracks.

“Make him pay, Mom! Sue him big!” Belle exclaimed stamping her foot.

“Belle, Dear, come sit down.” Patricia sat down on her bed and patted the mattress. She stroked Belle’s auburn curls. “You know your dad and I support your right to choose what happens to your body. You don’t want to make this a lawsuit, though. Many in this town are pro-life. Which means, they will drag you through the mud over this. We will pay for your abortion.”

“You will?” I guess if I think about it, I shouldn’t be surprised that Mom is offering to pay for the abortion. Belle thought to herself, smiling. Mom and Dad have always been cool with my experimenting and testing boundaries.

Patricia had told her, “That is how you learn.”

Mom and Dad had actually come to me to offer the idea that Yedidyah sleep over.

“Of course, Honey.” Patricia patted Belle’s lap. “You should be free to live your life. You want to be free to enjoy high school to the fullest and pursue higher education. I don’t want you to be encumbered by this pregnancy or by a baby. We will take care of this.” Patricia wrapped her arm around Belle’s shoulders and squeezed.

“Oh, Mom, you’re the best!” Belle wrapped her arms around Patricia’s waist and hugged her tight.