Chapter 1
It was a beautiful morning, birds chirping far away, Sean found it difficult to open his eyes due to his sweet dreams and feelings. He had met a lady the day before and intended to speak with her today. He turned his back on the ground and opened his eyes gently, looking at the chandelier above. The lady's eyes started to show on it.
“Sean!” his flatmate called out loudly. He felt reluctant to stand up from bed and grumbled softly, “yeah, Lisa, I’m awake, thanks.” He immediately rushed to the living room after waiting for a few minutes. He couldn't find the girl and then perceived her fragrance, indicating she was no longer at home. He checked the rooms to confirm if she was still in, but she was nowhere to be found. “Yeeessssss!” he screamed and jumped up. He likes to stay naked at home, and can do it only when Lisa is out.
It only took Sean 10 minutes to take a bath and dress. He patiently looked for the best outfit to wear and walked down the next street to see if he could find the lady, smiling as if he had already met her. He walked up and down the street, looking through windows as if he would see the lady. Soon, a man shouted, “Hey! You! Get off my street.” He felt bad and went back home.
“Hey buddy, wake up” – say a voice inside his head. Simply meeting a girl, Sean begin projecting thoughts in the future, reviving past negative emotions.
It was around 7:00 PM when Sean's phone started ringing. It was his flat mate calling to tell him she wouldn't be coming home that night. “Yeaaaaaah” – again, naked! Sofa, TV, Headphones. Maybe a snack – think Sean going to the fridge, open it and… half tomato, one raw egg, butter, almost empty carton of milk. No choice; Sean decided to take a walk and get something to eat.
There was a long queue at the eatery. “Excuse me” said a lady from behind. The voice was so sweet that Sean couldn't help but look back to see the angel, and to his surprise, it was the lady he had been looking for. He couldn't help but open his mouth wide and hold his head with his hands. “Ooooohhh my God” he said softly, blinking his eyes twice in a second, with his chest pounding fast. The lady then walked towards him and asked what he would prefer to take. He placed an order and sat patiently after eating, waiting for the lady to start going home.
It was late at night, and Sean was already asleep where he sat. “Hello!” The security guard woke Sean, who jumped up, looked around, and asked for the waitress. The security guard then told Sean that the lady had just left about 2 minutes ago. Sean hurriedly left the premises and started heading home, looking left and right, hoping to see her. Suddenly, he saw the lady at the other end of the road with a man trying to steal her bag. He didn't hesitate and immediately ran across the road. The thief noticed someone running towards them, quickly stopped dragging her bag with her, and ran away. “Are you okay?” asked Sean. “Yes, I am" – said the lady – “he is my brother, we’re joking” continue the lady while laughing. She then appreciated him for coming to her rescue, and they both took the walkway and left the scene. After minutes of conversation, Sean told the lady that he had already gotten to his home and asked for her name, contact, and address.
Later that weekend, Sean woke up early and dressed up. He had a date with the lady he met. And after that day, Sean started calling her frequently, expecting her to start doing the same, but things were working in the opposite direction for him. Sean thought that she ought to understand the reason for the date and expecting this to result in an increase in affection and interest.
After a few weeks, she stopped replying to Sean's messages, even when she was online, ignoring his calls, or completely ignoring his social media activity, based on Sean thoughts, obviously. In reality, she was just busy thinking about her life. That’s why anytime they set eyes on one another, she always seemed to be happy to see him, and it was! Sean was not pleased with this, in his point of view on and off, and it was really hurting him, and he started to lose himself. Confusion, fears, sense of inadequacy start pervading Sean, visible controlled from his past emotions
On a sunny afternoon, the street was busy with people roaming and having joyful conversations with smiles on their faces. Sean was not pleased to see people around him smiling and happy, with no one feeling concern about his state of mind despite the fact that he wasn't seeing the lady again. He was still finding it difficult to let go of the girl from his mind more than a month, crazy!! He then decided to walk away from others and find a place to sit where no one would disturb him.
As he was walking in the park, he saw a hidden bench under a tree and decided to sit, putting his elbows on his knees and leaning forward without seeing anything else around him except for himself. After a while, Sean didn’t notice yet a man sitting on the other side of the bench, bird, sunglasses, athletic body, jeans, white t-shirt and flip-flops, apparently writing in a journal.
“Hey buddy!” The man greets Sean with a friendly tone, but Sean gets scared as he didn't hear the man approaching. Obviously, the man was already here, Sean definitely somewhere else.
“Wow! You scared me; I didn’t hear you coming. Are you a ninja?” Sean jokingly asks, trying to lighten the mood.
“NO. There was a big pigeon flying above you, and when he pooped, I came out. However, you were unable to hear me when I was released; you could only hear me when I arrived” – The man replies sarcastically, making a joke out of the situation.
“Really?” Sean asks, with a look of disbelief on his face, as if he's taking the man's joke seriously.
“Of course NO!!” — the man reply laughing The man laughs, enjoying his joke.
“You are an asshole; I’m feeling bad, and you’re kidding me. I can definitely believe you came from the ass of a pigeon” – say Sean
“It makes sense. I think you didn’t hear me arrive because you were too caught up in your thoughts. What’s happening to you? Would you like to share with me your struggles? Maybe I can help you release some pain” – the man says in a friendly tone of voice
Sean then raises his left side slightly and… farts.
“Are you releasing your pain?” - ask the man -
“Kinda!” — reply Sean -
“Soon” – slightly laughing – “you have a pain in the ass then?”
They then exchanged silent glances for a few seconds before breaking out laughing.
“Why should I share my things with you?” Sean is a little suspicious of the man's intentions.
“You know, it's sometimes easier to share our thoughts with people we don't know if they'll listen. If you feel the need to share, I can listen to you; it’s totally up to you” – the man shows genuine empathy, letting Sean decide by himself, like he already knows the young man in front of him -
The man explains that it can be helpful to talk to someone who you don't have a close relationship with.
“Well, honestly, I feel kind of comfortable having you here willing to listen to me.” Sean decides to open up to the man.
“Good! I’m glad you feel comfortable. So, tell me what's bothering you.” The man is happy that Sean feels comfortable and encourages him to share.
He then took a moment to look the man in the eye, an eye full of fluids ready to roll down his handsome face.
“I don’t know what to do with the girl I like; I think she doesn’t like me and probably is even playing with me. But it’s weird!” Sean opens up about his struggles with a crush he has.
“What is weird?” The man wants to understand the situation better.
“She’s ignoring me, not replying to my messages even if she is online, or completely ignoring me on social media, but when we meet, she looks like she is happy to see me.” Says Sean with a disappointed and confused tone of voice
“Does she look like, or is she happy to see you!?” — say the man, as affirmation rather than a question
“She looks happy, I think, but I’m not inside her head, so I can’t tell for sure. I’m not a magician!” — reply the young man, clearly making excuses, probably due to the heaviness he perceives from the sense of responsibility. When you grow in an environment where everything that happened is your fault, then you might have problems managing the sense of responsibility during your adulthood, and is what Sean is experiencing.
The man tries to help Sean understand the situation better; in the recent past he had the same experience, which makes him the best advisor Sean could ever meet at this moment of his life.
“You don’t need to be a magician to understand another person, young man” – say the man in such as fraternal tone that looks like has always known Sean
“So what?” — Sean replies hardly
“Mommy, I’d tell you to get out of there, because if you keep staying too long, you’ll miss the chance to see and enjoy the world around you” – say the man vaguely, trying to force Sean to think about his sentence using as much as possible his conscious mind, avoiding in this way to be driven from the unconscious mind, where ALL the old memories that sabotage our present are stored.
Sean clearly expresses confusion, kind of “WTF are you talking about, Bro?”
“I don't understand. What are you talking about?” Sean said, with his brain in a state of hyperactivity. Unfortunately, his intention to “think and analyze in order to understand” was missing, as his brain perceived the situation as a danger. In such cases, the prefrontal cortex shuts down, and we lose our ability to control our emotions. This can lead to unpleasant and automatic physiological responses that are triggered by experiences.
“poor boy” – think the man observing the young man – “must be so tired trying to follow his thoughts, I have to keep him in the present moment!”
