The Letters

I’m woken by my mom, she shakes me gently and calls my name.

I groan and put my pillow over my face. I don’t want to go to school. Kindergarten is probably stupid, and all the kids are probably mean. They always were whenever I went to the park.

“Bryan, sweetie, come on. It’s time for school.”

“I’m not going.” I grumble, rolling over again.

“Please?”

I ignored her for a minute before sitting up. “Why do I have to go?”

“Because it’s illegal if you don’t.” She answers, smiling softly and leaving the room.

I sigh. Everything’s illegal, I swear! I can’t do anything, it seems. I get out of bed and mope downstairs for breakfast. I sit at the table and see my three-year-old brother, Ryan, eating pancakes. Or smearing them on the table, I should say.

He looks almost exactly like me, with blue eyes and brown hair. Everyone gushes over him, though, because he’s little.

The only difference between our physical appearance is our eyes, his are sky blue and mine are aqua, coming from my mom.

My real mom died when I was only two, I don’t remember her all that much, just that she was pretty and really nice to everyone. I love my step mom, though. I mean, she’s raised me since my mom’s been dead.

My dad sat at the table reading the paper, most likely skimming the sports section. He’s big into football.

“Good morning, Bryan.” He smiled at me and I nodded in acknowledgement. School is still stupid, no matter how nice my parents are for the first day.

“You go to school, Bryan?” Ryan asks, and I nod. He’s okay at talking. I spoke in full sentences at his age, maybe he’s just slow.

“Bye bye.” Was the last thing he said to me as I left to get ready for school. I love him, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes his three-year-old-ness gets on my nerves.

I sit down on the porch swing outside and wait for the bus, watching birds fly by and feeling the cool breeze on my skin.

My mom hands me my lunchbox, and I hold it tightly. It has my favorite cartoon character, Blaze, on it. He’s a monster truck from Blaze and the Monster Machines.

She sits next to me, putting an arm around me. Dad came outside with Ryan, standing in front of the door. “You excited?” He asks.

“Not really,” I admit. “I don’t want to leave, I mean, I won’t get to play with Ryan or go to the park whenever I want anymore.”

Mom smiles. “Well, the good news is that you have weekends off.”

“That’s two days. Two days! Hardly anything.”

“Shit-” Dad cuts himself off. “Sorry, don’t talk like that in front of ladies, boys. But anyway, I would love to have two days off, even one would be great!”

I smile. “I want to have every day for the rest of my life off. Then I could play all day, and do whatever I wanted.”

Mom smiles, ruffling my hair. “I wish it were like that, honey, but unfortunately there comes a time when you grow up.”

“Then I just won’t, easy peasy.” I grin, and then hear the bus. I stand up. “I love you guys!” I exclaim, heading to the end of the driveway. The bus stops and I climb on, smiling at the driver and saying, “Good morning.”

“Good morning, Bryan.” He nods in acknowledgement. How does he know my name?

A really pretty girl sat in the first seat, and I asked to sit next to her. She said yes and scooted over. We were quiet for the whole ride, but I wanted to talk to her.

When we get to the school, all of us kindergarteners walk into the building, and I go to my classroom.

The really cute girl was in my class, and I instantly had a crush on her. I didn’t know her name, but I knew I wanted to get to know her. We all sat in a big circle, and the teacher, Mrs. Wilson, suggested we play the name game so we could get to know each other.

A kid with curly red hair went first, and I half-heartedly listened to the other kids. Finally, it was my turn. “I’m Bryan Reede, and I like to hang out with my little brother.”

“How sweet!” Mrs. Wilson exclaims. “And how old would your brother be?”

“He’s three.”

“That’s too cute! Alright, next?”

The circle continues until the cute girl’s turn. She stands up and plays with her long hair shyly. It’s beautiful, starting as brown at the top and fading into black not even halfway through. I wonder if it’s dyed, or if it’s natural.

It’s too pretty to be dyed, to dye your hair more than halfway would be kind of dumb, and I don’t think she’s dumb at all.

“My name’s Nickolle, and, um, I like kittens.”

“Ooh, how cute! I love kittens, does anyone else here like cats?”

A lot of kids raise their hands, including me. I like dogs, too, though. The girl beside Nickolle smirks. “I’m Skylynn and I don’t like cats. They’re all dumb. I don’t like anything.”

“Oh, okay,” Mrs. Wilson looks as if she’s been shocked into silence.

The circle continues, ending with a boy who looks like Skylynn, same clear blue eyes and messy brown hair, saying, “I’m Cobra and I like snakes. They’re super cool.”

Skylynn mumbles it’s only because he’s named after one, and he protests against that statement.

Nickolle just sits quietly and plays with her skirt.

“Alright, well, today we are going to begin by coloring. I want you all to get your coloring books out and color one picture. Be creative, and color anything you’d like!”

We all return to our desks and I pull out my jumbo coloring book of animals. Nickolle has a book of cats and she’s very carefully marking it as a calico.

“Did you know calicos are usually females?” I ask. “It’s rare for them to be a male, but it’s possible.” Gosh, I’m such a nerd.

Nickolle looks over at me with wide, grey eyes. “Uh, no. I didn’t.” She offered a shy smile.

“Oh, well, now you know, I guess.” I stammer, ashamed of myself. How dumb could I be! I doubt she cares about cats and what gender they usually are!

“Do you have any cats?” She asks quietly.

“Uh, I had one. She got hit by a car. I didn’t mean to let her out, it just happened.”

Nickolle nods. Does she even like me? Am I annoying? I can’t be, I’m just going with the flow. Right?

After a moment of silence, I blurt, “Do you think boys have cooties?” I instantly regret it when she looks over at me. I mumble an apology, but she doesn’t hear me. Instead, she just smiles.

“No. Do you think girls have cooties?”

I blush a little. “No. I’m Bryan, by the way.”

“I’m Nickolle.”

We do a little handshake before coloring again. I color an elephant and make its ball blue, red, and yellow. I look over at Nickolle’s very detailed picture of three cats playing. She’s definitely an artist.

I watch her color for a bit before returning to my picture. I have scribbles everywhere, there’s still a lot of white and I went outside the lines! Nowhere near Nickolle’s talent.

I watch her again, and this time she catches me.

“What?” She asks.

“Nothing, you’re just good at coloring.” I smile at her. “Do you color a lot?”

Nickolle nods. “I color a lot with my mom and little sister, she’s three.”

“I have a three-year-old brother!” I exclaim, and Nickolle smiles.

“I know. You said you enjoy hanging out with him.”

I blush. Oh, yeah. “His name’s Ryan. Kind of like mine.”

“My little sister’s name is Rockelle. My youngest sister is named Nichelle. She’s the annoying one.”

I nod. “Must be hard to have a one-year-old always screaming.”

“Sometimes, but I still love her.”

I nod and watch her color some more. After fifteen minutes of color time, we clean up and get to play with the kitchen set and other things in the corner of the room.

I play house with Nickolle. She’d make a really good mom, as she holds a baby doll and shushes it. I just sit on the floor and watch as she gets it a bottle.

Some other kids were playing some of the board games, and Skylynn and Cobra sat in the corner talking to each other.

Nickolle looks at me and asks me to hold the baby, she has to “go to the store for groceries”. I held the doll and looked into its eyes. It was kind of creepy.

She walked over to a toy box and picked out some food things to bring back to the kitchen. She puts everything away and sits next to me on the floor.

“I’m back.”

“Do you want the baby back?” I ask, feeling kind of awkward. I like playing with her, even if kids are starting to snicker.

“Sure.” Nickolle sits on her knees and takes the baby back. She shushes it when it doesn’t cry, and I can’t help but smile.

“Do you help take care of your little sisters?”

“Sometimes. My mom says I’ll make a good mom someday.”

“She’s not wrong.” I smile. “You’re doing great, and the baby isn’t even real.”

“Thanks, you did a good job of watching her while I was gone.”

“Her?”

“Yeah, it’s what I figured she looked like.”

I nod.

“You’re really cool, Bryan.” Nickolle says after a while. “My dad said I wouldn’t find a boy who would play house with me. He said it’s a game for girls.”

“Well,” I sigh. “It’s considered a game for girls, but I like playing house with you. It’s something new that I’ve never done, but it’s really fun.”

Nickolle beams, and it lights up her pretty face. “I’m glad you’re having fun!”

“Alright, class, clean up your toys, we’re going to have a quick lesson on the ABC’s, so join me on the letter rug!” Mrs. Wilson exclaims, and Nickolle places the baby gently in a toy crib.

We all sit down on the rug, and Mrs. Wilson writes out the alphabet on the white board. “We start with A,” She points to the capital letter A. I already know my ABC’s, and the lower case letters, too.

I still sing along while Mrs. Wilson goes over each letter, passing out a worksheet with the letters for us to trace. I don’t want to trace the letters, I already know how to write them, my dad taught me.

I do it anyway, and I watch as Nickolle carefully traces each letter. “Do you write them like that usually?”

“No,”

“I don’t write my letters like this, either.”

“Is everyone finished?” Mrs. Wilson asks, and everyone says yes. She collects our papers and dismisses us to recess.

Nickolle ran off with some girl before I could ask her if she wanted to play house, and I sat by myself near a tree. Kids tried to climb it, but I just ignored them.

After recess, we have lunch and Nickolle sits with the girl she played with. Again, I sit by myself. Nickolle brought a peanut butter sandwich for lunch today, with some chips and a few cookies. I wonder if the cookies are her favorite.

After lunch, we do a reading assessment and then we get little booklets to read. They’re in little bags with worksheets that are supposed to be turned in at the end of the week next week.

I put mine in my Blaze backpack, and Skylynn snorted.

“Cartoons on your lunchbox and backpack? I thought you were a baby five years ago?” She taunts.

I just stare at her. I don’t get it, why can’t I have cartoon characters on my backpack and lunchbox? “What do you mean?”

“Well, cartoons are for babies.” She crosses her arms. “Aren’t you a big boy now? Or do you still wear pull-ups to bed?”

“Why do you care so much?” I ask, holding back tears. “Why are you being so mean?”

“Why are you being such a baby?” She asks mockingly. “Grow up. Nobody even likes you here, Nickolle just pities you. Ask her.”

I bite my lip, trying not to cry, it can’t be true.

I looked over at Nickolle, who was talking to her new friend while our buses were being called.

I glared at Skylynn. “That’s not true.”

“It is, but keep telling yourself that.” Skylynn flips her hair over her shoulder and struts off to talk to her brother. Of course the two rode my bus.

Kindergarten is going to be torture. Finally, my bus number is called and I storm out of the kindergarten hallway, meeting the bus leader and following her onto the bus.

Fifth graders come down to walk us to our buses, but in the excitement of it being the first day of school it doesn’t go very well when it comes to taking attendance.

I sit in the seat Nickolle was in this morning and she joins me. “Hey, did you enjoy your first day?” She asks kindly.

I just stare out the window. I know it’s immature to ignore people, but I don’t feel like talking.