Chapter 1
Compose me a little something..
I once said to you; write me a poem..
I just want to hear a story.
Non fiction.
You know just the way I like it.
Baby, I just need a fucking symphony..
Something to inspire me.
I need a muse.
I need you.
I’m thee atonement that you crave.
The endless reassurance you deserve.
The thing that makes you want for nothing.
I acknowledge the fact I’m not very good at verbally reminding you how I feel.
I want you to be confident in so many things.
My feelings for you,
the first.
You need to be loved differently.
Your mind speaks a different language.
I’d like to think,
I’m fluent.
I want to be all that you think about.
Anything and everything;
all at once.
Everything you dream about;
if your dark mind is able to dream.
I’ve never wanted to be someone’s reason to wake up everyday,
but I wouldn’t mind if I played a part in yours.
Only yours.
I like that we’ve always been untraditional.
Starting with our music tastes all the way to our drug of choice.
Unpredictable.
It leaves something to chance.
It keeps me interested.
I like when I have to work for it a little.
It’s that chase everyone enjoys.
We make some people uneasy or scared;
but attract each other.
I see the beauty in that.
I put out a vibe that most don’t get.
You look like you’d bust out someone’s windows for sport
when in all reality you’re the most gentle man I’ve ever been with.
Now, who does that say something about?
My point?
We need to be loved differently.
Sometimes a hand to the throat and a hard mouth on the neck is necessary.
A Reminder that we can be conquered.
Sometimes we just really want to feel something when everything seems so cold.
You’re the only one who can push me to submit.
I don’t willingly do that for anyone.
I never have.
You make me want to.
It’s like our little game.
We have our ways with each other.
Over time you’ve transformed my fears into cravings.
Things I can’t unwant.
You’re not afraid to challenge me or to be a little rough.
I need that.
I need someone to knock me down.
But, I’ve always needed someone who can keep up more.
That’s you.
Shit, you do circles around me sometimes.
I love that.
You make me long for nothing.
I’m curious about nothing.
I want for nothing.
I don’t second guess our relationship.
I don’t get bored.
I don’t desire anyone else.
I’ve never not wanted you.
You though baby,
You..
You put out such a stern unforgiving vibe.
Like, you simply just cannot be troubled.
Like, you’ve never loved.
More so, like you’ve never been loved.
Like, your uninterested in everything.
But, hold one conversation with you?
The world fascinates you.
There’s nothing you wouldn’t try.
There’s so much you’re curious about.
So many skills you long to acquire.
You’re such a wanderer.
You’ll never settle,
as you shouldn’t.
You’re so simple.
You’re actually very outspoken.
Nobody ever asked your opinion,
they should’ve.
It’s worth hearing. Everything about you is worth it.
Let’s start with your Tigger laugh
right down to your tattooed neck
leading the way to your strong shoulders
that hold more burden than most can muster
and moving on to your soft but black calloused hands that can fix everything from a heart to a fuel pump 😉
back up to your biceps that have held me up..
even when I didn’t deserve it.
Right up and over to your dark and gorgeous mind.
Now, that had me before I realized I needed you.
You understand shit that most cringe at or find crazy.
You though?
You don’t flinch because you’ve seen or heard much worse.
You’re not my person.
Anyone could tell you that.
Instead sweetheart..
You are my flinch.
That moment when you feel like there’s nothing left to live for and you put the gun to your head and pull the trigger come to find out the chamber was empty.
I flinched.
Therefore, I wasn’t actually ready.
Meaning,
My strength
My weakness
Both at once.
My calling
My downfall.
My friend.
My foe.
My Jekyll.
My Hyde.
I love you for all of it.
It’s exactly what I need.
It’s the love I want.
It’s the love I have.
You,
My love. 🖤
