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Aa

The Fading Light

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Summary

In a world where a tyrannical ruler has enslaved the people, a young hero named Aiden emerges as the chosen one, prophesied to defeat the evil king and free the land. Aiden is pure of heart and determined to save his people, but as he leads the rebellion against the king's forces, he begins to realize that the cost of victory is high. The people he cares about suffer and die, and Aiden starts to question if the ends justify the means.

Status
Ongoing
Chapters
1
Rating
5.0 1 review
Age Rating
16+

The Commoners

"The crystal palace looks beautiful from here..." Aiden thought to himself while staring at the massive floating castle. The evening suns light danced across the surface of the crystal walls shimmering like a disco ball.

There were five massive rings below the structure, glowing with a light purple hue. The lights in the rings seemed to breathe from the top ring all the way to the bottom.

Aiden had no understanding behind the magic that held the massive palace aloft. The knowledge and practice of magic was reserved for the noble families of the palaces, as well as The Arcane Traffickers.

Any commoners such as Aiden who were born with an affinity for magic were either taken away by the traffickers, or killed.

"They can't risk an uprising afterall..." Aiden thought grudgingly. He frowned at the thought and brought his gaze upward to the sky above. The last of the days light was fading, and it was a myriad of colors. Reds, purples, blues, and yellows blended together to form the evening skies.

"Hey! You there!" A gruff voice called from behind Aiden. He turned to face the source and chills flooded up and down his spine. A large man in a hefty black hooded robe, with red trimmings and the symbol of a rainbow colored crystal on the chest, was standing about ten feet from where Aiden was. Even from that distance Aiden could tell it was one of the Traffickers.

The Arcane Traffickers were the slave drivers that ensured the comonners knew their place in society and worked for the prosperity of the palaces. There were seven nations that each contained its own crystal palace. One palace for every color of the rainbow, and the grand palace which had all six colors.

Every palace contained a powerful ruling family of mages whose school of magic pertained to their crystal. The scarlet crystal represented fire magic, the amber crystal represented earthen magic, the opalite crystal represented lightning magic, the emerald crystal represented nature magic, the sapphire crystal represented water and ice magic, and the amethyst crystal represented illusionary magic.

The final palace held the pure clear crystal which was held by the most powerful family of mages who had control of all forms of magic. This was the grand palace and their symbol was the rainbow crystal.

"Clenching your fists eh? Thoughts of aggression and anger towards the traffickers or the palaces is punishible by death you know." The man growled followed by a hefty laugh. Aiden felt the tension in his hands as he now noticed that he had clenched both of his hands into a tight fist.

"I have no intent of aggression or anger." Aiden said calmly as he relaxed his hands and pointed his gaze down to the dirt. The trafficker grew silent for a few moments and then spoke again.

"That is good to hear, I'd hate to have to dispose of defective equipment." He said with a chuckle. "However..." the trafficker said with a malicious tone. "Manuul!" He shouted.

Aiden felt all of his body fall forward to the ground slamming hard into the firm earth beneth him. The wind was forced from his lungs upon impact and the pain caused a small yelp to leave him. The spell the trafficker had just used made Aidens entire body feel as though he weighed several tons. Unable now to move and struggling to breathe, Aiden could feel tears welling up in his eyes.

"Work isn't over until the colors of the sky have faded into black! Return to work immediately. Your punishment for shirking your duties today will be no dinner rations for three days. Furthermore, if you are caught in non-compliance again the punishment will be far more severe slave." The spell faded at the conclusion of the traffickers speech.

Aiden rose to his feet shakily and bowed to the trafficker.

"Thank you for your mercy arcane, I accept my punishment." Aiden said breathlessly as he turned to return to the mine. As he walked unsteadily towards his work zone he could feel the trafficker still staring at him. He watched closely as Aiden retrieved his pickaxe and began striking the ore in front of him. He continued working quietly adding the ore he chipped away to his barrel on a wheelbarrow with two wheels and handles to use for pulling the barrel to the delivery zone. As the last of the colors in the sky began to fade he pulled his wheelbarrow to the delivery area for inspection. Each day every slave was assigned a work area, the farms, the mines, or the palace. The farmers were rquired to handle the livestock, crops, and lumber, the miners were required to gather ore and stone, and the palace workers acted as servants to the palace. Each day their work was evaluated and if you didn't meet standards for three days you would be executed. Not meeting standards for a day or two were punishments determined by the chief arcane trafficker. As Aiden wheeled his barrel onto the scale to be weighed and measured he fidgeted nervously. He had taken a considerably long break before the trafficker discovered him.

"I hope I still met standards today, I have already had dinner rations revoked. I would rather not be punished again today..." Aiden thought concern showing on his face as he waited.

"Your contributions are acceptable today slave." The man who was evaluating Aidens cart said as he waved Aiden away dismissively.

Aiden let out a sigh of relief as he walked along the dirt path away from the delivery area, and towards the commons. There were tall posts throughout the commons with magical lights that hung suspended about a foot above the post and provided a decent amount of illumination. There were several dozen of these lamps scattered around the commons. The commons were where the slaves lived their homes were barely more than dilapidated shacks. The ceilings were fashioned out of metal and wood scraps just closed enough to keep most of the weather out. In their free time commoners were allowed to eat at the large cafeteria in the center of town, visit the scrapyard where they could trade for materials to work on their homes, or rest at the tavern where they could trade for drinks.

They typically traded meal ration cards, however many of the slaves would also trade coins. Only the palace workers ever had coin to trade but they would sometimes trade coin for rations, coins were more valuable than rations. The palace workers however didn't get to eat as often as the other slaves. So they were usually more than happy to trade coin for rations.

Aiden still had ten coins for trading most of his dinner rations with palace workers over the last few months. In the scrapyard there was a wooden crate of materials and clothes for sixteen coins that Aiden wanted to purchase.

"I still need six coins and Neris agreed to pay me six coins if I gave him another three dinner rations...but that has been revoked for now...maybe Neris will agree to a loan. I suppose I could probably find him at the tavern about now..." Aiden thought as he dragged his feet to his house. As he approched his home he took a moment to look at it.

The roof was more well sealed than most of the houses he had more metal sheets and wood to cover his entire roof. He had been trading for materials since he was old enough to be assigned a house and work orders. He tended well to the grass and dirt in front of his house and had made it look the best he could. There was a strong oak door that sealed the front entrance and he had just bought a glass pane to cover his window. The glass pane still needed to be installed though. As he opened his door he could see the carpet that he had installed a few months ago it was an ugly green color but it was better than the dirt beneath it.

"It had better be better than the dirt, it cost me twenty-seven rations..." He thought. He also had traded to get a toilet, a sink, a bedframe with no matress but a flat peice of wood with his bedding on it and had a small kettle stove that acted as a fireplace in the winter. Aiden had built a particularily comfortable house for himself. "Now if I can just get my hands on that crate, I can use some of the wood to seal the walls up a little better and keep some for firewood, I can trade away the fresh clothes for some coins or rations, and I heard from Sloan, the man who runs the scrapyard that there was something extra special inside the crate that anyone would be dying to have..." Aiden thought as he walked to the edge of his bed to open up a chest containing what few belongings he had.

"Okay, so I have one dinner ration card, two pairs of fresh socks, and three books, I really want to finish reading those. I wanted to keep the socks for when mine wear down but I could probably get more later...oh! I also have a pair of fresh work boots. Mine are almost worn through though, so I can't afford to trade those. We don't really get new boots very often. Alright so one pair of socks and a dinner ration card...maybe Neris will take those as a down-payment and agree to letting me pay the rest later..." Aiden said to himself as he grabbed the single pair of fresh socks, the dinner ration card, and headed back out of his house towards the tavern.

The tavern was situated near the cafeteria in fact they were technically in the same building they were only seperated by a single wall. Aiden had heard stories of a world long ago that had no magic where this was something called a shopping center where you could come and buy all sorts of things.

"Everyone knows those are just tales of some fantasy to tell children for entertainment." Aiden thought smiling to himself as he approached the tavern.

Compared to all the homes around the commons the cafteria and tavern were very sturdy buildings they had solid walls and ceilings that didn't leak, much of the color was faded and there were a lot of overgrown vines and tree branches covering most of them. The fronts of the building and the entrances were cleared and cleaned however. Above the door to the tavern were some letters that spelled "Ol - t - wn Liq - ur". An old man named Hughes told Aiden once that it used to say "Old Town Liquor" but some of the letters fell off over time.

As Aiden reached for the door he could hear the bustling of slaves inside drinking and talking somberly with one another, along with the ocassional laugh from a few of the patrons who had already had several drinks. He opened the door to a warm environment that was dimly lit by a few magic lamps attatched to chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. As well as some small dim magic lamps on the small wooden tables scattered around the room.

As soon as Aiden walked in the tavern fell silent and everyone in the room looked towards the entance nervously. Upon seeing that Aiden was not a trafficker they resumed their conversations and drinks. Aiden looked around for only a few moments before he spotted Neris, sitting at one of the tables in the corner of the room Neris was a very thin man of average height with curly, gnarled, brown hair. He had a fair complexion and a long face with elongated features and a sharp chin. He almost looked like the elves that Aiden read about in some old books, but Neris didn't have pointy ears, or long, straight, silver hair. Neris was still wearing his palace uniform which was a black vest over a white button up shirt with black slacks.

Aiden approched Neris and sat at the table across from him.

"Hey Neris, how did the palace fair today." Aiden asked patiently.

"Same as always, clean and pristine." Neris said with a mellow tone. There was a hint of frustration in his voice however, so Aiden decided not to pursue the conversation further.

"Well I suppose I should just get down to buisness then, do you have the six coins?" Aiden asked.

"Yes, do you have the three dinner rations?" Neris asked sounding somewhat impatient.

"Well unfortunately I am currently under punishment so instead..."

"What have you done this time!? You know I can only trade for what you have. Please don't waste my time Aiden. There are plenty of commoners who would jump at the oppurtunity to trade with palace workers." Neris said sounding frustrated.

"I know Neris and it truly is an honor that you are willing to trade so openly with me. Look I have one dinner ration card right now and a pair of fresh clean socks. It is unfortunately the most I can offer for at least three more days. You know I need that crate from the scrapyard though. Can we work something out here? You know I am good on my word Neris." Aiden said pleadingly.

Neris let out a heavy sigh and buried his face into his hands. He sat like that for a few moments before speaking again.

"Aiden, I-... Look I will give you the six coins but it is going to cost extra. I'll take the dinner ration tonight and the socks. When your punishment is relieved though, I will give you these six if you give me six more dinner rations. Three to make up for the days of your punishment and three more for the remainder of the payment..."

Aiden thought for a moment. "I understand his frustration...but six? I mean...I could probably get at least four more coins for that arrangement normally...but I don't know if that crate will still be there..." his thoughts were interrupted by Neris.

"Do we have a deal Aiden?" Neris asked sounding desperate.

"You drive a pretty hard bargain Neris...but I don't really have many options here so, yeah we have a deal." Aiden handed over the socks and dinner ration card. And Neris retrieved the six coins from his pouch and handed them over to Aiden.

"You are lucky you know...I managed to earn a few extra coins this week for more rations...otherwise I would never have made this deal." Neris said with a dull tone. "You know it isn't personal I am trying to survive the same as you." Neris finished with a look of sadness.

Aiden looked at the coins in his hand examining them closer they were a copper color with a picture of a man with a beard on the front of them. They had ridges along the sides of them and there were words written on them. "In god we trust, liberty, 1993." The back had a picture of a building that was long with many pillars and there were some words written on the back as well. "United States of America, E Pluribus Umum, One Cent." It was gibberish to him but now he had all sixteen coins.

"I understand Neris, and I will be true to my word. Thank you again and I hope that we can continue to trade in the future for both our prosperity." Aiden said as he stood to his feet and turned to leave. Once he was outside Aiden began hurriedly walking towards his house to retrieve his small cart for transporting scrap. After grabbing it he rushed hurriedly to the edge of the commons where the scrapyard was. The scrapyard was a large open area that was filled with all sorts of things, scraps of metal, metal sheets, wood, lumber, furniture and all sorts of other bobs and ends. Sloan was sitting in a wooden chair on rails that allowed it to rock back and forth.

Sloan was a fairly old man and had earned enough prestiege as a palace worker to run the scrapyard for the palace. He had a very worn but friendly face and a dark complexion. He was rather thin and wore clothig that was fresh and clean he had a grey t-shirt and a pair of jeans with some black boots.

"Aiden!" He called excitedly his face lighting up as Aiden approched. Aiden smiled widely and called back to him.

"Hey Sloan! You still have that crate!?" Aiden asked barely able to curb his anticipation.

"Yes! Of course I have had several offers but I made a deal with you and I held onto it for ya! I assume that you got your cart because you have the sixteen coins?" Sloan said still smiling.

"Yeah I have them right here!" Aiden said as he reached into his pocket to retrieve the coins. They counted the coins together and Sloan motioned for Aiden to follow him.

As they approched the crate Aiden couldn't wait any longer. He walked up to it to finally be allowed to fully inspect it. The crate was nearly four feet tall and four more feet wide. "I'm not sure that will even fit on my cart now that I see it up close..." Aiden thought.

"Hey Sloan could we open the crate so I can look inside?" Aiden asked tentatively.

"Of course it is yours now afterall!" Sloan said excitedly. Sloan handed Aiden a crowbar he was carrying to open the crate with.

As Aiden opened the top and looked inside there was a treasure trove of items within. He bagan moving things from inside the crate to the cart. There was a backpack with three sets of clothes inside three fresh shirts, jeans, and socks. Two pairs of fresh work boots, a small toolbag with some new tools inlcuding a hammer, two scredrivers, and a small package of nails and screws. The last item in the crate made Aidens eyes light up.

"Is that what I think it is Sloan!" Aiden shouted as he reached for a plastic bag inside the crate shakily.

"It absolutely is Aiden! I told you, you would want this crate! That is a brand new fully sealed cot mattress and pillow!" Sloan said with a chuckle.

"I can't believe it! You know you could have gotten sixteen coins for this alone easily! Everything here is worthway more than I paid you!" Aiden said.

"Well yes of course but what does that matter? I am living quite comfortably Aiden and I promised your mother I would take care of you so don't trouble yourself over the details."

"I don't know what to say Sloan this is incredible! Thank you!" He shouted as he loaded it into his cart.

"It is getting pretty late Aiden and I am sure you can't wait to get home and try it out so lets finish getting you loaded up so you can get back home." Sloan said. Over the next hour Aiden and Sloan worked together to break down the remainder of the crate and loaded it all onto Aidens cart. They said their goodbyes and Aiden all but ran back home eager to add his new treasures to his home.

He entered his house and immediately set to work opening the cot mattress and adding it to his bedframe along with the pillow. He brought the rest of what was in the cart inside and stored most of the items in the chest by his bed. He set the wood pieces from the crate next to the kettle stove. He took one of the screwdrivers and some of the screws from the toolbag and set to work installing the window. It took him around another hour to complete the job. Satisfied, he sat on the mattress and felt exhausted from the days events. Without another word or moment he lied down on the mattress and pulled his blanket over him. Soon after he laid his head down on the pillow he fell into a very deep sleep. Comfortable for the first time in his life. A smile passed across his face as he fell asleep

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author

Well written, and as the first chapter, you established the the world and circumstances well. I was caught up with Aidens' household affairs. For the first chapter I do not have much remarks except that there's a fifty percent chance I will read the next chapter, which I think is good. But I would be much more confident in reviewing after the story has taken some purpose or direction. It's too early to for me to make an opinion.

3 years
author

On a personal note, I am a big fan suspense or to know an event or crisis or adventure is on the horizon. And so i would prefer leaving the reader in such expectation even after the first chapter, which I did not see here, that's why theres fifty percent chance I might not go to the second chapter. Just my personal preference/style. So this is my feedback. Please feel free to ask for any clarifications.

3 years