Chloe
Chloe
Dominic broke up with Chloe over a candlelit dinner. He’d taken her to her favorite Italian restaurant because she told him that she’d been craving their spaghetti and meatballs. However, Chloe lost her appetite over the course of dinner when he said they were better off as friends. She tried to push the memory of dinner out of her head as they had goodbye sex. Sex-the only thing she would truly miss about him.
“I need you in me,” Chloe pleaded into Dominic’s ear.
“You need me in you baby?” he asked, continuing to tease her. She could feel his manhood against her leg.
“Yes,” she said, too horny to be irritated.
“I want to hear you say it again.”
“I need you in me,” she said in the sexiest voice she could muster. She was beyond wet from the head action, and now she wanted the grand finale.
In the moonlit room, she could see his smile. His teasing was over. She instinctively arched her back, waiting for him to fill her up.
She tried thinking of their happy times together. Come to think of it, she wasn’t sure if they were ever truly happy; at times it seems they were just two lonely people who happened to hook up. They were supposed to offer what the other needed—comfort. Yet in the end, they were the opposite of what the other needed. They never comforted each other, at least not emotionally.
With each thrust, the pain was alleviated. Each thrust made her forget how her heart was ripped from her body. He held on to her and they rode the wave together.
The unfortunate thing about sex is, like any other drug, your high always comes down.
To make matters worse, the jerk had the audacity to crawl behind her and wrap his arms around her. Why was he holding me? She asked herself. She had expected him to do what any other man who had just dumped his girlfriend would do; put on his pants and leave. Yet, he stayed there holding her. Jerk. How could she be comforted knowing this would be the last time?
She could feel the tears well up in her eyes. She had been fighting them all day and she had won, but now she was feeling weak. Please don’t cry, she told herself. He had the satisfaction of breaking up with her; now he would see her cry too.
Her tears won, and she cried a lone, silent tear, hoping that it would be the last. It wasn’t.
“Are you crying?” he asked, already knowing she was.
“No.” She sniffled.
Since he had already discovered the tears she had desperately wanted to hide, Chloe turned to face him. She buried her head in his chest, and he ran his fingers through her hair while the tears flowed.
“Baby, don’t cry because of me. ” She wasn’t in the mood for the, you’re great, it’s really me speech, but she was too weak to argue.
Against her better judgment and before she could stop herself, she said, “I’m going to miss you.”
“Baby, this isn’t goodbye. We could still talk and be a part of each other’s lives. It’s just that I need to sort some things out for myself.”
“You sure you want us to still be a part of each lives?” She couldn’t believe those words had just come out of her mouth. Shut up, she chastised herself silently.
“I know, baby, that’s not what either of us want.” He held her tighter, and she fell asleep. For the first time in their relationship, he’d managed to comfort her, and this was the end.
In the morning, he was gone.
“Damn!” her best friend, Tia, practically screamed. Chloe had met her friend, Tia and her sister, Katya for drinks at Bar Louie.
“Calm down, sweetie, people are looking at us.” Chloe warned
Tia laughed and looked around, “You’re right, but anyways, you really said all that to him?”
Her sister, Katya, but everyone called her Kat, stared at her, wide-eyed and waiting just as anxiously for the answer as Tia. Chloe usually kept her feelings to herself when Dominic upset her, opting rather to not say anything to him that would hurt his feelings. Very recently that changed. After his recent provoking, she went crazy.
She ate a nacho and took a sip of her cosmopolitan. “Yes, I did. I couldn’t take it anymore.” She shrugged her shoulders. “For the past week, he’s been driving me crazy, texting all the time like he didn’t dump me. The string, or the needle, or is it the hair, well whatever it is that broke the camels back happened today. So I went out to lunch with a guy from work and posted a selfie and Dominic had the nerve to text me and asks who did I go out with.”
“No he didn’t,” Tia said.
“Yes he did, so I had to let him have it. I just exploded, I think I finally got everything off my chest” Chloe waved her hand in her direction.
“It wasn’t that bad until the end. Okay, it was bad, but the end, well, that’s when it got really ugly. ‘Fuck your excuses which you seem to have a million of. Fuck your BS, I’ve been hurt before routine. And most importantly Fuck you!!!!!’” She read aloud the text that she sent him and forwarded to them. “I feel really bad,” Chloe admitted.
“Here I am thinking you felt good about it,” Kat said.
“No, that’s it. I do feel really good. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, but that makes me feel bad. How can I take so much pleasure in another person’s pain? He was like, ‘Wow, I never disrespected you.’ It was infuriating me even more that he was trying to make me feel bad. I had to calm myself down before I texted him again, like fuck your feelings too!” She explained.
“My ex is the same way always trying to make me feel bad when I flip out after he’s been a jerk,” confessed Tia. She had numerous stories about her ex. He made Dominic look innocent. “Girl, like you said, fuck him.” Tia continued.
“She was like fuck you with a hundred exclamation points” Kat teased.
Chloe laughed, “I know, right. I really wanted to emphasize the fuck you.” She paused. Well enough about Dominic. How are you ladies love lives?”
“Not much better over here.” Kat chimed in.
“You know Jermaine is forever trying to crawl back into my life. I feel like him and Dominic are reading from the same fuck boy manual.” Tia offered. “I blocked Jermaine from calling me, so he decided to send me emails. The boy is certifiable, Tia said shaking her head.
“Now what happened with Jordan?” Chloe asked Kat. He was so cool—one of her boyfriends that Chloe actually liked. He didn’t act like Dominic or Jermaine. Chloe considered him a sweetheart.
Kat rolled her eyes. “Nothing happened, really. Things were fine then he broke up with me because of his ex.”
Jamie, the self-identified feminist intrigued Kat and they bonded over their interest in social justice. They’d dated for three months when he confessed before anything went further that he did, in fact, still have feelings for his ex. Having realized this after she returned from sabbatical and asked if they talked.
Chloe and Tia both threw their hands up. “Is it something in the air? What’s up with all these people obsessing over their ex? “ Chloe asked rhetorically.
“Let me tell you about Jermaine’s ex,” Tia interrupted. “All he talked about was her light-skin. I mean she’s light-skinned, but she’s fat. Please don’t get me started on that dreadful weave. He would say things like her ass is bigger. Of course her ass bigger than mine- she’s fat! Damn near obese if you ask me. She is seriously a single Lays chip away from obesity.”
Kat and Chloe couldn’t help but laugh. Jermaine could really get Tia riled up. She had really cared for him, and he turned out to be a monster. Tia wasn’t the emotional type, so her falling for a guy meant something.
“He had the nerve to compare her to me. Look at me. This face is gorgeous. This body is amazing.” Tia advertised her features like she was Vanna White showing the latest contestant on Wheel of Fortune their prize.
“So,” Kat began, but Chloe interrupted.
“Hold up, let me get one thing straight, Tia.” Chloe pointed one finger in the air for emphasis.
“Okay,” Tia said looking at her seriously.
“Was she fat?” Chloe asked bursting into laughter.
Kat joined her in laughter.
“Shut up, silly,” Tia said.
“No, seriously, you called that woman fat several times,” said Kat.
“I know about the case of the ex,” Chloe chimed in. The liquor had her mood all over the place. She was laughing one minute, serious the next. “Dominic would always bring up his ex Michelle. Michelle did this or Michelle did that. So, it got to the point where I was like, ’Be with Michelle, then. Chloe stopped before she got herself worked up about Dominic yet again and asked Kat, “So back to Jordan, who I thought was a sweetie.”
Kat ran her hands through her locs. An annoyed expression plastered across her face. “Well, in the beginning, there was some mention of her, but he assured me that it was over.”
“Aw, how are you?” Chloe asked after seeing the sad expression on her face. Kat was happy with Jordan. Kat was very outspoken, militant, and a proponent for women’s’ issues. Chloe thought Kat intimidated some guys and it seemed with Jordan, she had found someone who understood her.
“When we broke up, he said he wanted us to be friends. He’s actually invited me to things and I keep declining. It’s harder to move on from somebody when you’re constantly in contact with them. I am fine everything.”
“Well, I don’t think I will hear from Dominic for a while considering my latest outburst.” Chloe smiled. “Did you guys notice the common thread here? Exes. How did we all get left for an ex? We’re a trio of lonely bitches.”
“Destiny’s exes,” Tia said laughing.
“Charlie’s exes,” Kat said joining in on the fun.
“Let's raise our glasses. For the girls who were dumped by their exes because they didn’t think they were good enough.”
“Come through with the Ntozake Shange reference,” Tia said.
“I know right, my sister smart,” Kat said.
“Seriously guys, Kat began after they settled down. “I am one Amazon click away from buying Steve Harvey’s book.”
Tia shook her head. “That book won’t work for me.”
“Why not?” Chloe asked.
“You think I’m waiting 90 days to sit on a guys face?”
Kat laughed out loud. “You’re absurd.”
“Another round ladies? The waiter interrupted as Tia and Kat struggled to stifle their laughter.
“Yes, but we’re cutting her off.” Chloe said pointing to Tia.
Tia looked at the waiter, “pay her no mind.” Keep em coming. I have a three -drink minimum.”
“My kind of girl.” He said with a wink. “I’ll be right back.”
“I’m tired of men,” Chloe announced after the waiter walked away. “If it weren’t for sex, I wouldn’t even like them,” Chloe sighed.
“So you’re going gay now? I knew you and Tia were close,” Kat said, laughing.
“No, that’s not what I meant. But if I see Tia’s roommate in her robe again, I may not be so sure.” Chloe joked. “Anyway, what I meant was sex gets women in trouble, makes them fall in love. Look at poor Deanna and her situation with Patrick.” Patrick was Deanna’s no good boyfriend. They all pleaded for her to leave him alone
“Where is Deanna?” Tia asked.
“She’s at home with Arielle, her mother couldn’t babysit Chloe asked.
“Patrick probably came over. That girl always sprung. I wonder what it is.” Tia said.
It was true; Deanna had no problem falling in love, but falling out was damn near impossible, despite whatever her significant other put her through.
“It’s the sex.” Chloe offered. Deanna had bragged that Patrick was the best lover she ever had.
“I know how she feels,” said Tia. “Jermaine was no joke. I miss Jermaine. Well, at least the bottom half of him.” She fanned herself as she reminisced.
“Don’t you wish you could mix and match men? Like, let’s take his top half and give me his bottom half. It’s a rule somewhere saying if he’s smart, loyal, honest, a provider, and all of those other desirable qualities you want in a man, then—”
“Then he can’t screw,” Tia said interrupting Kat. She relished in any opportunity to be vulgar.
“Thanks, Tia,” Kat said, laughing
“Anytime,” Tia said, obviously drunk.
Kat was drunk, too. “I want the perfect man who can—”
“Screw.” Once again Tia finished Kat’s sentence, but this time she wanted her to.
Chloe laughed. “That must be your word for the night.”
“Yes, it is. Screw, screw and screw.” She started to do a little dance in her seat.
“Can he be the perfect man if you guys aren’t sexually compatible? That raises another question: do women value sex in a relationship just as much as men? Would you be with a man who you didn’t like having sex with?” Chloe realized she was tipsy too after she started rambling.
“Yes,” Tia answered.
“Yes to what question?” Chloe finally asked.
“Yes, I have been in relationships where I didn’t necessarily like the sex. Does it count that I cheated on them?” Tia admitted.
“I thought about cheating with one guy who, for some reason, I just didn’t enjoy sex with, and one time I actually did,” Kat admitted with a sly smile.
“Y’all bad. I never cheat, but I’m not sure I handle the situation much better. I usually just avoid having sex with them, and that doesn’t make for a happy boyfriend.”
“You know, you’re such a square sometimes,” Tia said in an accusatory manner.
“Shut up. When I’m in a committed relationship, I believe in being faithful. When I’m single, I do what I want.”
“Aren’t you the one who doesn’t believe in monogamy?” Kat asked.
“No, no,” Chloe said, shaking her head. “What I said was, I don’t believe that monogamy works for everyone. We have this plan of marriage and a family, but I’m not sure that’s something I want. I guess I question all the expectations.”
“I don’t know about the family part, but I wouldn’t mind a husband, especially a rich one who’s going to put at least four carats on this finger.” Tia held up her ring finger.
“Only four carats?” Chloe said, adding sarcasm that Tia either ignored or didn’t pick up on.
“If he can’t put four carats on my finger, why bother?” she said in a voice that didn’t allow them to decipher whether or not she was serious.
“There are more important things than the size of the ring,” Kat said, attempting to be the voice of reason, “and besides, I don’t think you can have the husband without the family. Most men want children.”
“Truthfully, I’m not sure I want marriage,” Tia said as if she had just thought about it and was admitting it for the first time.
“You guys can’t be serious,” Kat jumped in. “I’ve always wanted to get married. I don’t have a time frame like some women, but it is definitely something I want in my future, hopefully with a couple of children.”
“Yes, I have friends who want to be married by twenty-five, and that’s just crazy,” Tia said as if she was disgusted by the idea of being married at twenty-five.
“I can’t imagine being married at twenty-five.” She said twenty-five like it was far away. It was less than a year away for both Chloe and Tia. “All I can say is, by twenty-five I want some success with my career and a guy who’s a good— she pointed to Tia.
“Screw.” Tia giggled like a schoolgirl before sipping her gin and tonic.
“Exactly.” Chloe agreed.
“What am I going to do with you two?” Kat laughed. “Come on, that’s all you want, little sister? You never want a family?”
“Um, no,” Chloe barely hesitated. “I will be a great aunt, though, but they can’t come over because my apartment is going to be really nice. However, I’ll buy them very expensive gifts considering my job will be amazing and I’ll be childless. I figure if I have money, vodka, and good sex, what else is there?”
“Shoes,” Tia added
Chloe held her heart. “Oh my. How did I forget about shoes?”
It was 2:30 am and Chloe hadn’t so much as yawned. She was wide-awake with her mind racing. She thought she drank enough alcohol to be passed out. Chloe got up and walked around her apartment. Not only was she up, she was restless, too. She couldn’t stop moving. There was nothing to clean, because she had cleaned everything yesterday in an attempt to take her mind off Dominic. It worked, and as result her apartment was spotless.
She lived with her younger cousin, Rio. He was more like a brother and actually one of her best friends. There was no telling where he was tonight—probably partying or over at some girl’s house. If he were here, she didn’t even know if she would want to talk. Chloe contemplated calling someone, but she didn’t know who.
She really didn’t want to talk about Dominic anymore; she had decided to get over him. She told herself that wouldn’t give any more energy to that psycho. He was emotionally abusive. She had been hurt before, but she had never felt like it was done purposefully until now.
Dominic admitted that sometimes he would be so hurt or angry he would have to fight the urge not to take it out on her, and sometimes he couldn’t. He said he wanted to make someone hurt like his ex-girlfriend hurt him. Why would I stay with such an emotionally unhinged person? She asked herself. She was only one standing in his path of destruction. In the past, if she wasn’t happy, she left. After their relationship ended, Chloe promised to never lose herself for anyone else.
It’s not like she thought he was “the one.” She wasn’t even sure if there was such a thing as “the one,” and if there was, she knew it wasn’t him. Chloe admitted once to Tia that she really didn’t know why she liked him. He wasn’t her type. Yet she stayed and rode an emotional rollercoaster until he let her off, well, kicked her off.
She decided to journal; it always consoled her in some way. She stared at the computer screen and bared her soul. After journaling, she was still wide-awake and decided she would fall asleep by watching television. She made popcorn and looked through her DVDs. Action movies and romantic comedies were her favorites. Either she wanted to see something get blown up or people fall in love. She opted for the latter, choosing to be a voyeur in others people’s love lives that, by comparison, were doing much better than her.
Chloe’s favorite movie was Serendipity. She was fascinated, even if not totally convinced, by the idea that fates bring us together and that there is a soul mate out there for all of us. Was she secretly a hopeless romantic layered in coats of cynicism?
Chloe wasn’t sure what time she finally went to sleep, but she woke up on the couch covered in popcorn to a ringing phone. She looked at the clock on the wall; it was 9:15. She sighed. Chloe liked to sleep in on Saturdays. Begrudgingly, she answered the phone.
“I hate him.”
Without looking at the screen, she knew it was Deanna. She could tell that she’d been crying and would probably start up again any minute now.
Chloe sat up on the couch, wiped the sleep from her eyes, and asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Before we got back together, I told Patrick to love me or leave me alone. He said he loves me and that he wanted to make us work. So I’m talking to Erica—you know the girl from my job—this morning. She always calls me and tells what happened when she goes out. She gets up early as hell like me, so she called me at like 7 this morning.” Deanna explained.
Deanna took forever to tell a story. Since she was upset, Chloe decided not to make fun of her.
“So, Erica went to her cousin’s house warming last night. One of her cousin’s friends told everybody she’s pregnant. She said her baby’s daddy’s name is Patrick.”
Chloe’s stomach turned. “Girl, you’re not about to say what I think you’re about to say.”
“Wait a minute, I’m getting there. The girl told Erica that even though they’ve only been dating for six months, he’s real excited about his baby boy. Then Erica’s cousin was like, ‘I want to meet him,’ and the girl told her he was on the way. Erica sneaks a picture of Patrick hugged up with the girl at the party and sends it to me like, ‘guess who’s here.’”
“Wow,” Chloe said in disbelief. Patrick got around, but she was still surprised that he got someone pregnant while dating Deanna.
“Erica kept saying how glad she was that I dumped him. I didn’t tell too many people we got back together just in case we broke up again. I knew about another girl, because I stalked his Instagram page and that’s not her. Who is this man not having sex with? He always playing me for a fool.”
When she said that, the song “Everybody Plays the Fool” started playing in Chloe’s head. She fought the urge to start singing it in Deanna’s ear so she wouldn’t think she was making light of her situation. She realized the song applied to her life too, she had spent the last year making a fool out of herself for Dominic.
Instead, she asked, “So have you talked to him?” Chloe wanted to know how that smooth talker would get out of this one.
“Hell no!” Deanna exploded. “He won’t answer his phone because he knows Erica told on him. I keep looking at my car keys like I’ll drive over his momma’s house and bust out his car windows. All he cares about is that damn car, anyway. Can you please come over before I do something stupid?” Deanna pleaded into the phone.
Chloe told her yes, but that she needed a nap to be functional. She managed to drag herself out of bed by noon. Before she got in the shower, Chloe called Kat and Tia for reinforcement.
After about an hour or so, she was climbing into her black Land Rover Discovery. Chloe went to Italian Fiesta, Deanna’s favorite restaurant, to pick up some pizza before heading to her house. It was 2 pm when she finally got there, arriving after Kat and Tia.
“You must have been reading my mind,” Deanna said after looking at the pizza boxes. “I’ve been craving some Italian Fiesta.” Her eyes were still red and puffy from crying earlier.
“You always craving some Italian Fiesta,” Chloe told her. They had Italian Fiesta whenever possible. It was the greasiest pizza ever, but it was great.
She laughed, “That’s so true. It shouldn’t be so good.”
Deanna still lived with her mom, but so far, Chloe had not seen her. Deanna’s mom was truly a character; she was funny, chain-smoked, had the mouth of a sailor, and she gave good advice, but she wasn’t sure if Deanna ever listened. “Where’s Ms. Tina?” Chloe inquired.
“It’s Saturday, so either at the track or the casino,” Deanna said.
“Where is my godchild if Ms. Tina is at the casino?” Chloe asked. She had to be one of the worst godparents, but at least she bought nice gifts. She made a mental note to buy her some cute UGG boots and take her to see one of those Disney movies.
Deanna had gone into the kitchen to fill four cups with ice and grab paper plates.
“She’s over her daddy’s house for the weekend,” she called from the kitchen. “It’s taken him nearly three weeks to make good on his promise, and she probably won’t see him for another month, but I’m enjoying my break.” Deanna said.
“I brought Bombay and Squirt. I thought maybe you’d like a drink,” Kat offered Deanna once she returned.
“I sure would.” Deanna loved a cocktail.
Everyone looked at Tia as if to say, “What did you bring?”
“Don’t look at me,” she said. “I didn’t bring anything but my wonderful self,” Tia said, hunching her shoulders.
Deanna laughed. “In your case, that’s fine.”
“Better be fine. I didn’t know it was a party. You guys got me out of bed on a Saturday afternoon when I’m supposed to be sleeping. Now y’all about to have me drinking before three o’clock.” Tia said as if she were bothered.
“We sure are, and you love it!” Kat told her. “You are just as much of a lush as the rest of us.”
“Maybe.” Tia smiled.
“Let’s go to the basement. I was down there watching movies.” Deanna said before leading the way.
Deanna’s mom made sure the basement was the ultimate chill spot. They used to hang down here, but these days Deanna’s younger brother and his friends usually occupied it.
They fixed their drinks and plates while Deanna put on a movie. She sat down next to Chloe on the couch. Tia was sitting in the recliner and Kat took a couple of pillows and got comfortable on the floor by the table.
Deanna held up the remote and pressed play. “I was feeling like Sex and the City.”
“I love this movie. They really did a good job. They had to, because the show was so good.” Kat said.
“The clothes were a definite highlight.” Tia added.
“I agree.” Chloe offered.
Tia and Chloe looked at each other. “The shoes,” they said in unison.
Chloe looked around and assessed which characters they were most like. Deanna was definitely a Charlotte. She loved being in love and having a relationship. She had grown a little cynical due to her past experiences, but she was still a Charlotte at heart. Now Kat and Tia were personality twins. Tia was just a little mellower than Kat, but they reminded Chloe so much of each other. Tia could be wild like Samantha. Kat was more like Miranda. Chloe had always considered herself Carrie, partly because of the writing thing. She wrote for an up-and-coming Chicago magazine.
“I love Samantha. She is the ultimate bachelorette. She’s not a spinster with several Kats waiting for Mr. Right to magically appear at her doorstep. She’s rich, beautiful, and fabulous. She’s made getting older look fun.” Chloe said.
“You think so?” Kat asked.
“Yes, the Samantha we have grown to know and love is sexual and does what she feels. I’m so glad they didn’t marry her off. She is probably happier than the other women because she doesn’t believe in the fairy tale.” Chloe continued.
“What’s the fairy tale?” Tia asked, trying to get me riled up.
“You know, marriage, kids, family, big house, happily ever after.” Chloe waved her hand in the air for effect.
“What’s wrong with that?” Deanna asked.
“Nothing, but why does the script have to be the same for everyone? Why can’t we make up our own rules? I was thinking about this last night, so I had to write about it. I was feeling like Jerry Maguire. You know, how in the middle of night he had an epiphany of some sort. That’s what happened to me. As women, we give up everything in relationships, especially marriage. We cook, we clean, we have the babies, take care of said babies, still work a job, expected to have sex on command, and we’re the ones changing our names. Altering our identity!” Chloe ranted.
“Now you know I want to read it,” Kat said getting excited.
“I’d love to share. I saved it to my Google docs,” she said. “Take a look.”
Deanna’s mother had a computer in the corner of the basement. She turned it on while Kat and Tia followed.
Chloe stayed on the couch. Even though she appreciated the feedback, having someone read her words in front of her always made her uneasy. Chloe waited patiently for their reactions.
“Somebody loves masturbating, I see,” commented Deanna.
As usual, Deanna acted like an old prude. Chloe would bet that Deanna has ‘helped’ herself from time to time.
“Yep, and you do, too,” Chloe teased her.
“Um, no,” Deanna said seriously. Chloe gave her a side eye.
“Well I do,” Tia broadcasted, which came at no surprise to anyone. “I keep my rabbit.”
“I heard good things about the rabbit, but I never tried it.” Chloe had to remind herself to put the rabbit next on her list.
“And I have a massager,” added Kat.
“That’s not a massager. That’s a machine,” Chloe told her. “That thing was huge. I spotted it one day by side of the bed and picked it up, but quickly put it down when she informed me how she used it. That thing was massive. I’m sure if she used it alone in her apartment everybody in the building would cum.”
“No, really, it’s a back massager, and it’s so powerful I have to use it through my clothes.” Kat smiled, rolling her eyes back into her head letting a slight moan.
“Damn, OK, I may need one of those if it got you making those faces,” Deanna confessed. It wasn’t a surprise to hear she didn’t own a sex toy, but it was almost a surprise to hear she wanted one.
Tia smiled and shook her head yes.
“Girl, you don’t know what you’re missing,” Chloe informed her.
“We have to take this poor thing to a sex store,” Kat told us.
“I want to go myself. Check out the porn. I love lesbian porn right now. Something about it just turns me on.” Tia was such a freak.
“Me, too. But then again I watch all porn: straight, gay, and lesbian. Guess I am, too.” Chloe shrugged her shoulders.
“Yeah, gay porn is good,” Tia added.
“That’s because y’all nasty,” Deanna said, acting innocent again.
“Anyway, did you guys like my rules?” Chloe looked around at them before singling out Deanna. I looked at her and asked, “What about you, Deanna?”
“Why are you starting with me?” Deanna hated feeling like she was being picked on, which is probably why she was always the target.
“Because we want you to go first,” Tia said.
“Why me? I’m tired of you always making me the guinea pig.” Deanna wasn’t always the butt of the joke, well, she was. Sometimes they just couldn’t help themselves.
“Stop being a baby and say what you think already,” Tia told her, faking impatience.
“No, Deanna, we’re just interested in what you have to say,” Kat said in true peacemaker fashion.
“Okay, let me think about it. I’m going to tell you the ones that stand out. First off, I got you on the contraception thing. I get the shot; I’m not trying to have any more babies, but what if he doesn’t want to wear a condom? I mean, if he says he’s only having sex with me, what difference does it make? I feel like he trust me enough not to wear one then—”
“Then what? Girl, don’t do it,” Tia warned. Tia was studying to be a physician’s assistant, and she was passionate about sexual health, especially women’s health. Women, black women in particular, were constantly compromising their health for men that weren’t worth it. “Especially with somebody like Patrick who has other…women,” Tia said in an offhand manner.
“So, you’re the other woman?” Kat asked. We all knew Deanna was the other woman, but Deanna would never admit it.
“No, we were a couple.” Deanna protested.
“And you ended up a girl on the side,” Tia said quickly.
Chloe hoped Tia hadn’t started any drama with her comments. Sometimes she spoke her mind no matter how much it would hurt others. Tia and Kat were constantly giving Deanna a hard time about Patrick.
“Either way, you know there is another woman—hell, other women—so you should be making him use protection, because if he doesn’t wrap it up with you, then he doesn’t wrap it up with them, either,” Chloe said.
“I was just telling Chloe about being demoted,” Kat chimed in. “One day you’re the girlfriend, then he breaks up with you expecting your relationship not to change. You can’t break up with me and still want to be a part of my life like you were before. Breaking up with me meant you wanted our relationship to change. I’m not—”
“Wait, let Deanna finish her thoughts,” Chloe said, trying to prevent Kat from going off.
“What am I supposed to do if I still love him?” Deanna asked in a pleading voice.
“I guess it comes down to you and how you feel about yourself. I may love you, but I love me more, and you’re not dumping me then calling me for sex, are you serious?” Kat said getting worked up again.
Chloe put her hand up, signaling Kat to pause. She laughed and quieted down.
“As far as the marriage thing, I used to want to get married, but I’m not sure it’s something I want. I’m not saying I’m ruling it out, because who knows? I just don’t feel like any man is capable of being faithful. I like having a boyfriend. I like being in relationships.”
Chloe laughed. “How can a serial monogamist not want to get married?” If you love relationships, why not take it to the next level? Chloe thought.
Kat and Tia laughed. “I know, right?” Tia said.
“Be honest, you probably already planned your wedding.” Chloe teased.
“I mean, I know some things I wouldn’t mind being in the wedding,” Deanna admitted. Chloe bet she planned the whole thing out in her head.
“I don’t know about having sex like a man, just sex with no feelings. I would have to work on it, but I probably could do it.” Deanna said hesitantly.
“What about you, sister?” She was curious about what Kat had to say.
“Contraception and condoms, I’m all for it. You don’t want to wear a condom, then obviously you don’t want to have sex. Some things you learn the hard way.” Kat said.
“Girl, tell me about it.” Chloe agreed.
We looked at each other and shook our heads.
“Shane got on my nerves one day asking me how many people I’ve been with. What’s the purpose of that question? If the number I say is too low, you won’t believe it. If the number I say is too high, you think I’m a ho.”
“Yeah you date the most,” Chloe said, pointing to her, “you dater.”
“You are so silly,” said Tia.
“As we discussed last night, I want to get married. I want a family.” Kat said.
“So, y’all were having a girl’s night without me?” Deanna asked.
“Um, you stayed in the house with Patrick, remember?” Chloe said slowly.
“Fuck Patrick. He came over, but he didn’t stay the night. I guess I know where he went.” Deanna got off the couch to fix herself another drink.
“The part about keep being fabulous, I can relate.” Kat continued.
“Yeah, Edmund was intimidated by you.” Chloe offered.
“You used to always say that, but at times I thought that mofo was really trying to upstage me. I felt like we were competing over little stuff like lessons for class. He was smart, too, I didn’t understand his problem.” She looked perplexed. Kat was a schoolteacher on Chicago’s Westside, where poverty was rampant. She taught in a school with nearly 1500 students in a building designed for half the population.
“Yes he was smart, but not as smart.” Chloe said.
“I think he was.”
“Really?” Chloe looked at Kat before she took a sip of her drink. “Mm-hmm,” Chloe said. There was no fooling her.
“I know who you talking about and he wasn’t smarter than you, Kat,” Deanna said.
“Yes, girl, I can totally relate to dating an insecure man. Jermaine was jealous of me.” Tia said.
Chloe sat up for Tia’s story—Jermaine really was a character.
“At times I felt like he wanted to be me. It was weird having a boyfriend who was in competition with me. There was no competition, especially considering I’m better. It’s like, why bother?” Tia definitely wasn’t one for modesty. “But, don’t get me started on him.” Tia waved her hand glibly.
“Of course I practice safe sex. As someone studying medicine, if I didn’t, it would be ironic, idiotic, and a host of other things. And I won’t tell how many people I been with because it’s none of your business.” Tia continued.
“It’s a trap, because there is no acceptable answer,” Kat said.
“Exactly,” Chloe agreed.
“I want to date, but I always seem to be in a relationship. It’s like I’m talking to a guy, and then he want to wife me up and usually I oblige.” Chloe said, shaking her head.
“I know whenever I’m talking to someone that seems to be what happens, sometimes I just run.” Tia said. “And what’s wrong with being the other woman? I’ve been the other woman a couple of times my damn self. Does it make a difference if I was in a relationship, too, so it’s a situation where we both cheating?”
“That’s a damn shame,” Deanna shook her head in mock disgust. “Now what did you mean by having sex like a man?”
“Yeah,” added Kat. They were all looking at Chloe by then.
Chloe took a sip of her drink before answering. “I meant dating without jumping into a relationship, having sex when you want and not feeling ashamed, and not falling for someone when you only have a sexual relationship. I mean, have some power in your relationship.”
“Can you do that?” Tia asked.
“I’m about to start.” Chloe said confidently.
“You sure you’re not just feeling the after effects of the disaster that was Dominic?” Kat said. Kat was always looking after Chloe.
“No. I always had these convictions, but never put them into practice. Dominic simply forced me into this direction.”
“I don’t know; women are different. We have feelings when we have sex. I don’t think it’s possible.” Deanna said just as Chloe expected. Chloe knew Deanna needed to know when to let go and not believe every guy is the one. Chloe believed Deanna would benefit from this.
“Women are like that because of how we’ve been socialized, and I refuse to believe there’s some inherent code in women that dictates monogamy and sexual purity.” Chloe said. “Why should my sexuality be controlled by society? From now on, I do as I please. You ladies are welcome to join me. I think it’s going to be a liberating experience.” Chloe said.
“I think I’m going to join you,” Tia said. “What do I have to lose? Either way, I’m pretty sure I’ll learn something.”
“Sister, care to join me?” Chloe asked Kat.
“I think you’re crazy, but that doesn’t mean you’re not on to something.” She shook her finger in Chloe’s direction.
“I don’t think I can do it,” Deanna said.
Chloe spied Tia roll her eyes at Deanna.
“Come on Deanna, don’t be a punk. Have sex like Patrick,” Chloe baited her.
“Fuck Patrick and all his other women. Fuck his baby, too.”
They all looked at her. “Whoa, Deanna.”
“That’s how I feel right now.”
“Speaking of Patrick. You have to stay away from him.” Chloe said looking at Deanna.
“Ok.” She said hesitantly. After a moment, she added, that’s not fair you guys need rules too. Chloe, you can’t talk to Dominic.”
Chloe readily agreed.
They all turned to Tia.
“Don’t look at me. I wouldn’t spit on Jermaine if he was on fire.”
They turned to Kat.
“What?” She feigned innocence.
“No situation ships.” She looked confused. “You are the queen of the pseudo-relationships. You know the relationship where you guys have everything, but the title. None of those.” Chloe pointed at Kat.
“Fine.” Kat agreed.
“Let's toast,” Chloe announced. They put their red plastic cups in a circle. “Here’s to having sex like a man.”
“I feel like we should burn our bras or something,” Kat said.
“In this case, maybe our thongs?” Chloe playfully suggested.
“Why not? I don’t wear any panties anyway.” Tia shared.
They couldn’t help but laugh.
Deanna goes over to the Ipod radio and plays Beyoncé’s Single Ladies. Chloe puts her hand in the air mimicking Beyoncé’s moves. “You know I still remember the routine.” Chloe started dancing and Deanna followed suit. Deanna’s brother came down the basement stairs, he stopped at the last stair, when he saw the ladies dancing, he quickly went back upstairs. They laughed and continued to have a good time.
“Let’s go out. We have to celebrate our newly liberated sex lives.” Kat suggested.
“Sure. I wasn’t going to do nothing but cry over Patrick’s cheating ass.” Deanna said.
Chloe looked at her watch. “Let’s meet at my house in few hours.”
“Does this dress make my breasts look extra big?” Tia asked, stuffing them inside her dress.
“Is there a dress that doesn’t make your breasts look big? Every time I look at those things I want to take a nap.” Chloe teased.
“What?”
“They look like two big pillows.”
“Shut up. I don’t know why I talk to you. I’m changing.” Tia stormed off to Chloe’s bedroom to pick out another outfit.
Chloe laughed as Tia walked past.
It took Chloe no time to get ready. Her hair was already flat ironed. She planned out her outfit as she was driving home. She put on her pink and black dress that gave the illusion of her having a booty paired with black heels.
“Who wants to do my makeup?” Chloe asked, looking at Kat. She was in the bathroom, applying mascara in the mirror.
“Now what is the purpose of me teaching you how to do your makeup if you’re still going to ask me to do it?” Kat said. Chloe was uninterested in makeup, but Kat had taught her the basics. She figured if Kat was around and she did it better than her, why shouldn’t she do it?
“I love you, sister,” Chloe said, ignoring her complaints.
“Come on,” she said, gesturing for Chloe to join her at the sink.
“Besides, you do it so much better than me.” Chloe smiled.
After Kat finished, Chloe left the bathroom and asked, “So who wants a drink?”
“Me,” they all chorused.
She made everyone a lemon drop, which was one of her favorite drinks. Chloe handed one to the Queen of Sexy, a nickname they gave to Kat’s best friend, Tiara, who had mastered the art of being sexy, especially in the club. Her other friend would meet us there. Tia’s roommate was also joining them.
“How did Tia get you out of the house?” Chloe asked Liz. “You never go out with us.”
Tia told them that Liz didn’t like going out, that she was more of a homebody. Chloe figured Liz would say no if she invited her out, so she didn’t ask.
“Maybe because I’m never invited,” Liz said, smiling.
“Oh, wait a minute, I ask you all the time.” Well, Chloe didn’t usually ask her directly.
“When?” she said.
“Well, I ask about you and Tia always says you’re busy.”
“Mm-hmm,” she said, eyeing Chloe skeptically.
“Okay, you’re invited every time from now on.” She meant it, too. Chloe could feel Tia’s eyes on her from her bedroom doorway as she adjusted her dress. Tia came over and got a drink, but then she went back into Chloe’s room to finish primping: she was so high maintenance. Tia didn’t like the fact Chloe invited her roommate out with them in the future. Chloe ignored her stare and continued talking to Liz. Chloe looked over at the black dress Liz had on. It was cute.
Just then, Rio came out of his room practically drooling at the mouth. He was a wearing a wife beater and basketball shorts. Most likely, he spent the day held up in his room playing his PlayStation 4 because Chloe had barely heard a peep from him.
“Damn, I want to go,” he said, eyeing everyone in the room.
“Aw, the baby can’t get in the club,” Deanna teased.
“Don’t matter. I only got some months, then I’m in there right next to my baby in the club,” he said, scooting closer to her. Rio was months away from his twenty-first birthday. “I’m a have to tell Patrick to step aside.” Rio had been trying forever to get with Deanna; it was quite funny.
Deanna rolled her eyes. “Forget Patrick. I probably should be messing with you.”
“Probably,” he said, following her out of the room into the kitchen.
Tia was finally ready. “Do you want me to do your makeup?” she offered Liz. “I already know just what I want to do with those eyes.” That was Tia’s nice way of saying, “I hate the way you do your makeup, so let me save you.”
They were finally ready to leave by ten. It was free before eleven, and Chloe always took advantage of opportunities not to pay.
As they were walking up to the club, Chloe noticed a fine guy with braids down his back waiting in line. Chloe had already spotted who she wanted for the night.
