Broken Mind

February 6th 2021

This day was a very difficult one, and it's as far back as I can remember, trauma wise.

I was very happy at first that I had found two new friends, or at least I thought they were my friends. Their names were Dylan and Noah, they were two boys a year ahead of me. I thought they were the nicest guys ever, thinking that the stereotype of older high school boys was a fake, and boy was I wrong.

I had known them for a few months and everything was going smoothly, but that changed very quickly. They had never once been creepy or rude in any way before this day, so it came as a bit of a shock.

I was texting them on their separate phone numbers, not in a group chat, when Dylan (who I call the "crime boss") started asking me some very inappropriate questions.

The first one was "are you a virgin?" I thought it a little weird but I answered honestly. He then went on to ask me a series of sexual questions that my innocent mind couldn't comprehend. I learned from Noah that he and Dylan were together hanging out, and out of nowhere Dylan told me that he and Noah just had sex, which he did not need to tell me whatsoever. However it didn't surprise me because they were both pansexual (I am as well).

After that weird encounter I thought everything would go back to normal, nope.

Later that day, Dylan texted me asking if I wanted to be part of a large group sex session with other pansexual people and "shove things up their asses", I declined and told him not to ask me such a disgusting thing ever again. After I told him off he revealed that the only reason he and Noah started being my friend was to get me to do very explicit things I will not say.

After, again, telling him no, he started harassing me and trying to coax me into doing what they wanted. Telling me how pretty I would look doing those vulgar things, even telling me that he would pay me.

I had a break down and immediately blocked the both of them. Therefore, planting a fear in my mind of all boys and men.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I have trust issues (especially with men).