Prologue
Lyra
I sat in my shabby apartment and watched dark clouds gather in the sky outside my dusty windows. Tonight would be the first rain in five days. For most people, the weather wouldn’t hold much significance. But for me, this incoming storm meant that my life would end.
Five nights ago, I was standing in the rain and decided to give my life a deadline. I made a pact with myself to enjoy life for as long as the weather stayed nice to enjoy my life and end it during the next storm.
Now that day had come.
I knew I could break the pact. No one forced me to put on a hoodie and tie my boots. But I still did it. When I walked out of my apartment, I didn’t lock it. I wanted to make it easy for the police to enter when they came by later to search for why I had done it. But, of course, they wouldn’t find anything.
I hadn’t written any note or left any sort of sign that I was suicidal, not even in the search history on my laptop. I didn’t even want to think about what my family and friends would think. They would most likely blame themselves, despite not having done anything wrong.
They were not the reason I wanted to end my life. It was entirely because of me.
The moment I stepped out of my apartment building, the rain started to fall from the sky. I convinced myself it must be a sign I’d made the right decision. That some sort of higher power pushed me to go through with it.
I began walking toward the bridge while the rain washed over me. It only took a few minutes for me to get completely soaked, but I didn’t mind it.
It felt strange to walk among other people on the streets. People who would still be alive tomorrow. I wondered what they possessed in life, which made them willing to keep fighting, to wake up every day, and just live.
I envied them.
My heart started beating faster with every step I came closer to the bridge. But it wasn’t in fear. I wasn’t afraid of death. Being alive is what scared me. No, it terrified me.
When I took my first steps onto the bridge, a sense of calm rushed over my body, and my heart calmed down in my chest. I walked to the middle of it and leaned over the railing. The water looked utterly dark, but its darkness didn’t frighten me. Instead, it welcomed me, and I couldn’t wait to feel its cold embrace.
I could hear people walking by behind me, and I knew that if I hesitated and moved too slowly, someone might realize what I was about to do and stop me.
I took a deep breath and quickly climbed up on the railing. I ignored the gasps from behind me and jumped.
It felt like I was falling in the air for hours, but it could only have been a few seconds until my body hit the water’s surface. The impact and the coldness made me gasp, and I inhaled the salty water.
The impact hadn’t killed me, which I knew it wouldn’t. The bridge wasn’t nearly tall enough. My plan was to drown. I had read somewhere it was supposed to be relatively painless.
I quickly realized whoever had written that had never been close to drowning. It felt like my lungs were on fire, and even if I wanted to come up for air, I did not know in which direction the surface was. The only thing I could see was darkness; I only felt the coldness surrounding my body and the painful burning within.
Had I perhaps made a mistake?
Yes.
As I could feel my life slip away, I realized I wanted to live. But no one would come and save me.
That was the last thing I thought before my vision blurred. I could feel my consciousness slip away when someone suddenly grabbed my arm and pulled me above the surface.
The last thing I saw before everything turned dark was a pair of glowing golden eyes.
