Honor

Prologue

Yasmin sat as still as she could as she waited patiently for the first day of first grade to start. While all of the other kids were laughing and playing with each other, most seemed to be already familiar with each other, she sat by herself in a corner, too nervous to talk. She didn’t even realize that there was another kid, sitting alone in another corner also, clueless to her existence as well. Five minutes later, the teacher got all of the kids calmed down and seated, starting the first day of the year that would change five year old Yasmin’s world forever.

Three hours later and it was recess. When the teacher released the excited children to go play, it seemed like the majority was focused on getting as much play equipment as they could before running off and playing various games with their friends. Yasmin was one of the lucky ones and was able to steal herself a ball, even though she had no one to play with. She wasn’t really good at socializing with people she didn’t know. She found herself too nervous to say the right thing so that they would like her. She walked around for a while dribbling the ball in front of her humming a tune she heard in the car with her mama the other day. She had walked all the way to the edge of the playground before she realized there was a boy sitting alone under a huge tree that sat at the corner of the playground. It looked like a cool spot to sit in with the beaming sun shining over everyone. Yasmin stopped dribbling and stared at the boy as she walked closer. Even though he was sitting down, he looked to be taller than her, he wore a pair of blue jeans, blue and white sneakers, and a blue shirt. His hair was a light brown/hazel and it was a bit wild and unruly but she liked it. She wanted to see more. She couldn’t see his face because he was looking away and it was really bothering her. Yasmin was so enthralled by the young boy, that she didn’t realize she had walked right up to him and just stood there.

The boy, realizing someone was next to him, turned up and around to look at her. Yasmin’s eyes collided with soft grey eyes that she immediately fell in love with. His face was strong and angular with perfect sized lips to go with. In that moment as she stared at him, she decided that he would be her person, unknowingly growing a strong attachment to him.

She was finally able to find her voice to speak. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He said, staring back at her with a blank expression.

Yasmin didn’t know what else to say, so she started to get really nervous again and she looked down, breaking eye contact, immediately missing staring into those grey eyes.

She realized she still had the ball in her hand and spoke in a small, unsure voice.

“Do you want to throw the ball with me?” She took a peak at him, hoping that he would say yes.

He looks from her to the ball and back to her. “Sure.”

Hearing that one word made Yasmin so happy she smiled her brightest smile. “I’m Yasmin. What’s your name?”

The boy looked away and Yasmin thought she saw him start to turn red.

“I’ll tell you, only if you promise you won’t laugh.” He looks back at her, studying every little movement she did.

She nods her head. “I promise.”

He sighs as he tries not to let his nerves get the best of him. “I’m Kolenka, but I go by Kol. I don’t like when people call me by full name.”

“Kolenka. Kolenka.” Yasmin tries out his name on her tongue. She smiles at him. “I like your name. Can I call you by your name?”

He stares at her for a moment. “Promise you won’t say it around anyone else.”

She nods her head eagerly at the prospect that this cute little boy would be willing to let her call him by his real name when no one else could. “I promise I will only call you by your name when no one is around. Scouts honor.” She said, thinking about her cardinal scout troop.

He looks at her confused. “What does that mean?” He lifts his hands in the air signaling for her to throw him the ball.

“We say it when I’m with my troop. It means that we’re telling the truth and will keep our promise.”

He nods his head like he’s processing the information. “What’s a troop?”

“You don’t know what a troop is?”

“Never heard of it.” He shrugs.

Yasmin shrugs as well, a little bit embarrassed that she couldn’t tell him. “Well I don’t really know what it is either. Nobody ever told me. I just know I’m a part of Troop 86 of the Cardinal Scouts. That’s what Ms. Courtney, my troop leader says. How come I’ve never heard your name before?”

“It’s a Russian name.”

“Russian? What is that?”

“It means I’m from Russia.”

“Where is Russia? What’s it like?”

“My mum says it’s far away, but it is beautiful. One day, I will go there.”

“Oohh! That sounds nice. When you go, can you take me with you? Please!”

Kol smiled as he absorbed the little girl’s enthusiasm for a place she had never heard of before that moment. He stared as the sunlight bounced off of her curls, her big bright brown eyes staring at him with hope, and the wide smile she had on

He found himself smitten with her. Something about her in that moment, made him want to keep her around.

“Yeah, I’ll take you with me.” She squealed in excitement, making him laugh in response.

That was just the beginning. The beginning of a great first grade year with Yasmin and Kol becoming the best of friends. They learned everything they could about each other, becoming almost inseparable. When that year ended, summer came and went and when Yasmin saw her Kolenka the first day of the following year, she knew he wasn’t the same boy as before the summer. He looked smaller and sadder. His clothes were wrinkled and he had this darkness that clung to him that he didn’t want to talk about but that didn’t matter to her though. She would be there for him no matter what and when he was ready to tell her then she would be there. He still meant the world to her.

It went like that for the next two years. Each year it seemed it got worse for Kol. Yasmin knew something was going on at home, since Kol would have bruises and he seemed to be in pain a lot, but Kol always said it was his clumsiness. Even though he wasn’t clumsy at all. The darkness was fueling Kol’s anger and sometimes at school he would show it. Some of the other kids didn’t understand why Kol was friends with Yasmin. Some of them were jealous of how close Kol and Yasmin were and how they always did everything together in their own little world. Because of this, they started making fun of them, more so Yasmin, which caused Kol’s anger to become uncontrollable.

It went like this until one night at the end of their fifth grade year, when Kol disappeared. Never to be seen or heard from again.

Yasmin never got over Kol’s disappearance. The pain and hurt always sat at the deepest parts of her brain and hidden shadows of her heart. Kol’s disappearance affected her way more than she thought. His disappearance paired with daddy issues, childhood trauma, bullying, & other experiences shaped her into an insecure, hesitant, and shy loner who was afraid to let anyone in, past a certain point.

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