The Beatles Babysit. A short story.
“Paul, Paul!” Jane called, walking through to the kitchen where he was sat with John and his wife Cynthia. Their four year old son Julian, playing quietly by her feet.
“Yes love?”
“Maureen and Patti are here so we’ll be off soon.”
“OK.”
She looked at him, her head on one side. “You’re sure you’ll be alright? The four of you I mean, with the children?”
“How hard can it be. There’s three kids and four adults, sorted.”
Jane hesitated. Cynthia looked doubtful.
George and Patti came into the room, closely followed by Ringo and Maureen, both of whom carried a small child each. Ringo dropped to his knees in front of Julian Lennon.
“Hello there mate!” he said cheerfully, “That’s a cool car.”
The little boy raised his usually solemn face and grinned at his ‘uncle.’ He held the car up closer for Ringo to see. “Uncle Paul bought it for me,” he said looking towards Paul, “so we can play car races later on.”
“Aren’t you a lucky boy! I like car races too.”
“I’ve bought a few cars, ” called Paul, “So that Zak and Jason can play too.”
“Cheers mate. They’ll love that.” He stood up, leaving three year old Jason sat on the floor with Julian.
“So ladies, what are the plans?” he asked brightly.
“I thought,” said Jane, clearly excited, her eyes sparkling, “that us girls could go somewhere nice for lunch then hit the shops for a while. I’ve not had a girls day out for months. What do you think Ladies.”
“I’m game,” said Patti.
“Will you be OK with the boys?” Maureen asked her husband.
“We’ll have a great time. Looking forward to it.” Ringo gave his wife a swift kiss, “You go and have some fun. They’ll be fine with me.”
Satisfied, she grinned at her husband. “I’m ready.” she told Jane.
Cynthia looked at John. “Will Julian be OK with you?”
“Course.”
“You won’t forget you’ve got him?”
“No”
“I mean it John. Not like last time. Promise me!”
“Yeah! Yeah! I promise. Now quit nagging!”
“You’ll follow my rules?” she asked him anxiously, “No dangerous games. Remember he’ll need some lunch. Let him have a sleep if he needs one. No boozing....any of you! You can’t be drunk with children around you! Well?”
“Fine! Now go on woman!”
Cynthia still looked uncertain. “Maybe I should take.....”
“Cyn, I’ll watch Julian.” said Paul quietly, “I’ll make sure he’s safe and sorted.”
Cynthia looked relieved and grateful. She could trust Paul to look after Julian she knew that. He was fond of the little lad and Julian loved him in return.
“Thanks Paul! You’re a star.” She gave him a quick hug.
Ten minutes later the men waved as Jane pulled off the driveway. Paul locked the gates then the group went around the back of the house. A table and chairs had already been set up. John and George sat down, John pulled his paper over his face and prepared to sleep. George followed suit.
“Oh Lennon.......what happened to baby sitting?”
“Well Mary Poppins McCartney, since my lady wife only trusts you to look after me son and heir, then I think I’m entitled to a kip in the sunshine. That right Georgie mate?”
George snored.
“Actually,” said Ringo seriously, “since Paulie here is our host, YOU can keep an eye on Julian whilst he sorts us a brew and some scram. I’m starving and these two will want something soon.” He gestured to his young sons who were now toddling around him, trying to follow Julian. “Where’s those cars Paul?”
“I’ll get them now.” He called Julian suddenly. “Hey Julian buddy, can you come and get all the cars so that Ringo can set you lads a game going? I’m going to make us some sandwiches.”
“Yes Uncle Paul,” the little boy said, proud to be doing a ‘big boys’ job, He ran to Paul and clutched his hand. John watched as the two walked to the house, Julian chattering happily to Paul.”
“How does he do it Rings?”
“What?”
“Paul, how does he do it? How does he get kids to just follow him and do things so willingly. He’d be an amazing dad. I wish I knew how to do what he does.”
Ringo smiled at John, who was clearly put out by how his young son had followed Paul. “He’s just himself with them John. Kids like that. Paul imagines what it was like when he was that age and does what he remember his dad doing I guess.”
Suddenly Julian appeared at the top of the steps leading from the back of the house. Paul, holding his hand as they came down together. He then crouched down in front of Julian and spoke seriously to him. The little boy watched him and nodded. Paul handed him a small bag then pointed to Ringo and John. Again Julian nodded and set off walking.
“Uncle Ringo,” he said importantly, “Uncle Paul said that these are the cars for me, Zak and Jason to play with. He said he’ll come in a minute, he’s making dinner.”
“Well done for remembering such a big message Julian. That’s very clever isn’t it Daddy?”
“Yeah. Sure thing.”
“Shall we get the cars out then and play?
“Yes please.” Julian looked thrilled.
“Shall we let Daddy play?”
Julian looked from John to Ringo. “Daddy never wants to play.”
“Doesn’t he?”
Julian shook his head and looked again at his father, who was only half listening to the twosome talking. Within minutes, three little boys were driving the toy cars across the garden table, the two younger Starkey boys doing their best to follow big boy Julian. Ringo watched, listening to their chatter. Julian, he observed, was very gentle and kind with the younger children and didn’t seem to mind what they did. He had a pleasant manner about him, very much more like his mum than his dad! Ringo despaired as John paid no attention to what any of the children were doing. Suddenly he heard Julian shout. He came running back to Ringo carrying a football!
“Look what I’ve found! Can I play with it?”
Ringo smiled. “Let’s just check with Paul first OK?”
Julian nodded and waited.
“Paul!”
Paul stuck his head out of the door, a bowl in his hands. “Yeah?”
“Can the kids play with this mate?”
“Sure!”
Julian began kicking the ball and chasing after it. Zak and Jason left him alone, more engrossed in the cars.
Minutes later Paul appeared carrying plates of sandwiches. He placed them on the table after warning George not to eat yet then returned to the hoouse. He reappeared carrying a tray with a jug of lemonade and plastic cups. He sat at the table and called the others over.
George and John greeted the food enthusiastically.
“Hang on, kids fed first before you lot scoff the rest.”
They stood and watched as Paul and Ringo organised Julian, Zak and Jason with food and a drink. Once they were sure they were settled, the adults sat down to eat. It was very pleasant. The day was warm but the table was in the cooler shade. The adults talked about lots of things, interrupted now and then as Paul chatted to Julian or Ringo checked on the boys.
“What do you want to do after lunch Julian?” Paul asked.
“Can we all play football? Daddy too? I like football.”
“What d’ya reckon daddy?” Paul looked across at John.
“Yeah! It’ll be a laugh!”
After some discussion, teams were decided up on.
“Right,” said John, “Me, Julian and George will be Everpool. Macca, Ringo and the boys can be Liverton!”
“Before we start,” said Paul, ever the sensible one, “Remember the idea is we ALL play....kids included so not too hard OK?”
“Just start the game Paul!” moaned John.
“No! I’m serious! Think of the aggro you’ll get off the Mrs if any of the kids gets hurt because you lot think you’re playing at Anfield.”
John blanched. “Cyn’d have my balls....”
“Exactly!” Paul and Ringo started laughing!
“Right Julian, do you want to do the kick off?”
“Yes Uncle Paul.”
Paul showed him where to start and the game began.
The game started slowly. Paul and Ringo had a small child each and let them kick the ball when ever it came near the. John and George complained bitterly that it slowed the game down. Paul had the ball. John tackled him and then passed the ball to a very excited Julian.
“Score a goal Julian!” John yelled.
Julian tried to run as he kicked the ball towards to goal. Ringo stood in goal with both his small sons. Julian shot the ball which, unfortunately hit young Zak full in the face. Ringo’s attention was on the sobbing toddler as Julian scored again.
“GOAL!!!!!” screamed George, “Fantastic Julian!”
“One nil, one nil, one nil,” John sang, lifting his son on to his shoulders in celebration,
The game paused whilst Ringo comforted a sobbing Zak and Julian basked in the glory of praise from his father.
The game restarted. Now George had the ball. Paul went in to tackle only to be pushed away by George.
“Hey Harrison, that’s a foul!!”
George, still laughing went to pass the ball to Julian. Paul intercepted and gained possession. He started laughing at George and John.
“Let’s see how easy going Macca is with the kids,” said John quietly, “Hey Julian?”
“Yes daddy?”
“Go and get the ball. Go on! Tackle Uncle Paul.”
Julian ran up to Paul. A very determined look on his young face.Paul grinned at him.
“Hey Julian, want the ball?” he teased.
Julian nodded.
“You’ll have to tackle me for it!”
Julian swerved one way so Paul dodged, laughing. Julian tried again but this time was ready for Paul’s dodge. Paul, realising what was happening, made to move with the ball. Julian attacked. Paul felt himself stumble and, knowing that he would fall and land on Julian, twisted himself to avoid hurting the child.
“ARRRGH!”
He hit the floor in a crumpled heap.
John, George and Ringo stood and watched, laughing hysterically.
“Get up drama queen,” shouted John, “You’ve been floored by a 4 year old! Priceless!”
The laughing continued although Paul didn’t move. Suddenly Julian dived on him, thinking it was part of the game, Paul shouted again, clearly in pain! Ringo walked over and lifted Julian off him.
“I think Uncle Paul needs a minute Julian. Go and sit with daddy.”
Julian ran off. Ringo knelt down by Paul. “Come on Paul. Get up!”
Paul lifted his face to him. It was ashed, pain showed in his eyes. “I can’t” he said through gritted teeth, “No, seriously mate. The pain, its...agony!.” He stopped and tensed himself as a wave of pail hit him.
“Where does it hurt mate?” Ringo asked, beginning to feel concerned.
“My leg! I twisted to avoid landing on Julian. FUCK it hurts!”
“Try and get up mate. You can’t stay on the floor like this!”
John and George, heckled and laughed even more. “Stop being a wimp!!”
“Tell those two morons to shut up!”
“Ignore them,” said Ringo. He offered Paul his hand. “Need some help?”
Tentatively Paul tried to moved, Slowly he lifted his body from the floor, wincing and groaning with every movement. He took Ringo’s offered hand and tried to stand. There was a sickening crunching sound.
“ARRRRRRRGGGGGHH!”
John and George howled with laughter. Ringo looked at them and shook his head.
“Back in a minute Paul.”
He walked over to the other two.
“What’s up with him Rings?” grinned John. “Injured pride after being floored by a four year old?”
Ringo looked at him. “Seriously John, he’s not messing. He’s hurt. I think we need an ambulance.”
John’s expression altered immediately. The three men walked back to Paul.
“You OK mate?” John asked Paul quietly.
Paul grimaced in pain and shook his head. He was clammy and shaking. John recognised straight away something was wrong.
“George, go and ring for an ambulance. Our Paulie here is hurt!”
George went back into the house. Ringo rounded up the children who were now fractious and tired.
“Sorry about taking the piss mate,” said John, looking at his friend. “Anything I can get you?”
Paul gave him a weak smile. “No...I’ll wait for the ambulance. Thanks though.”
John grinned. “If you’ve done something bad Brian’ll go mad! Here’s been planning events for over the next couple of months.”
Paul smiled at the thought of an irritated Brian. “Fingers crossed it’s OK then. Otherwise you’re all going to be getting a few extra weeks off!”
The sounds of an approaching ambulance could now be heard. “Sounds like your chariot is here McCartney.”
“Let’s hope there’s some good looking nurses!”
George opened the gates to allow the vehicle in. The gate birds clamoured to know what was happening. He closed the gate and showed the ambulance where Paul was. After being quickly assessed, he was stretchered into the ambulance.
“Want one of us to come with you Paul?” asked George.
He shook his head. “NO. Stop here and wait for the girls. Jane’ll want to know where I am and stuff.”
John found out from the driver which hospital Paul was going to be taken to.
“Right,” said Ringo, taking control, “I vote we get Julian, Zak and Jason settled for a sleep then tidy up for Paul.” He looked at his watch. “The girls shoudn’t be much longer.”
________________________________
The car pulled up by the gate. Jane wound down the window, ready to buzz she was home.
“There’s been an ambulance!” one of the gate birds told her, “but we don’t know who was in it!”
“What!” Cynthia and Maureen looked alarmed.
“If John has.....” began Cynthia.
Once the car was parked, Cynthia and Maureen climbed out and dashed into the house.
“John Lennon, if something has happened to my son....”
John stood up. “Hello Ladies. Had a good time?”
“John, where are the children? Where’s Julian? Haven’t you even gone to the hospital with him?”
Ringo appeared in the doorway, carrying Jason and flanked on either side by Julian and Zak. Both women hugged their children with relief. Jane and Patti came rushing in.
“Are the children OK?”
“Perfectly fine,” said John airily, “Anyone would think YOU lot think I’m incapable of looking after Julian.”
Cynthia eyed John suspiciously. Something wasn’t quite right. Jane looked around the room, puzzled. “The gate birds said there was an ambulance.”
“There was.” said Ringo softly.
“Why?” asked Cynthia, “If the kids are OK and you lot are here then....?”
“Where’s Paul?” said Jane, suddenly interrupting.
“Ah well, that’s another story.” said John nervously. He began to edge away from Jane and Cynthia, who were now glaring at him, “And remember ALL you said was I had to make sure the kids were safe. You never said anything about the rest of us....”
