Great potential - needs fine tuning.

"I've not got much to go on (a Prologue and Chapter 1), but so far, so good. With this few chapters, I can't say too much on Plot but I am intruiged to know where the story is going to go - I'm encouraged to keep reading. The personality of the character is clearly portrayed; the author has a great writer's voice. However, there are grammar, punctuation and readability issues (suggestions provided through feedback), but they're easy to fix and I think the author will have no problems creating a rich story with lots of personality. "