Emily
‘’Josh, I’m sorry but I can’t be that for you.’’
I almost expected to see his heart shattered into a million pieces, his confession was heart-warming (albeit slightly overwhelming, how had I not seen the signs?!).
What I saw however, was something that came completely out of the blue. Josh had always been such a kind, calm and reasonable guy.
His eyes. It was like a fire that had found fresh kindling, as if a switch was flipped inside his mind. They were wild but gazing steadily and oh so deep into my soul.
He closed the gap between us before I could even take a breath. My back hit the wall behind me, making me gasp.
His eyes scanned my face, as if looking for something. As if I was going to change my answer and apologise for being so foolish before. As if I was joking.
I’ve made a huge mistake; I could feel it in my gut. I should have met him somewhere more public, somewhere with more people. This is what you’re taught growing up as a girl.
‘Keep your location on and tell your friends where you’re going’
‘Create a safe word that you can easily slip into conversation’
‘Meet somewhere public, somewhere you’re familiar with, somewhere you can plan an escape route if things get scary’
Somewhere you’re familiar with. At least I’d listen to that one, this was OUR spot. It had been since we were old enough to go out without parents, OUR safe place we could run to when things became too much at home. How could I not feel safe here now? How could I not trust Josh to keep me safe?
