Chapter 1
She stood there looking at what she had. She had a house, a family and many blessings. Unfortunately those blessings did not include her own peace of mind. She felt guilty knowing that she had so much but wanted more. She was chained down with a beautiful silk ribbon on a comfy bed. She knew others didn’t have what she had, some are bound by a rusted chain, to a cold table, in a dark room. But what she didn’t know was of those who cut the ribbon, melted off the chain and turned on the lights. She wondered where they got the scissors the cut the ribbon, the power for the lights or the heat to melt the chain. She desperately listened to their stories searching for something that could help her rewrite her own. She had found a box with all the answers but lost the key to open it. Without the key she was lost in herself. People are murdered, raped, enslaved, tortured and orphaned. She hadn’t witnessed nor experienced any of these things, so why should her mind be in such disarray? She had everything a person could want yet could still not cut the ribbon that bound to her soft bed. She sat at her bathroom door looking up thinking of the blessing she has, yet tears still escape from her eyes. She thought the reasons she gave for those tears were excuses for her own laziness and lack of commitment. Sometimes when one of her blessings asked her for those reasons she searched for worry in their voice, maybe something to invalidate what she thought were excuses. Unfortunately they led her nowhere. Even after she shared how she didn’t have a mom or that she was depressed, some answered her with, “my life is worse than yours” or “no way you have depression.” and the only thing their words validated was that the mask I wore looked very pretty. I have come to notice that those with everything including peace of mind become blind to others issues, blind to the dark room across the hall that many are stuck in. “Everyone has their own problems” now as I have witnessed and experienced such, I preach this phrase. I needn’t feel guilty, a chemical imbalance in my brain is not my fault and yes, it is okay not to be okay no matter who you are. Writing this I still haven’t found the key to the box of answers, but that’s okay. If we had all the answers then it would be too easy to cut your bindings. If you were given the power to free yourself you wouldn’t experience hardship and without it you wouldn’t recognize freedom as an achievement.
