Impressions
“The greatest friend of the soul is the unknown.”
~John O’Donohue
***
The future...
Sarvani-
“GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HIM!” I yell as I run toward the other bloodied soldier, ready to pounce and save Shanthi with an epic attack that I practiced. These talons have been nothing but a pain in my ass recently, but they can be pretty useful when they need to be. I do admit, the castle is not the best choice of scenery for all this blood, but sometimes fights like these break out when you least expect it. I move my messy hair out of the way as I lunge and slash her arm through to the bone, making her yell out in agony.
Now I know you may be thinking: Sarvani, ma'am, are you trying to murder someone with sharp fingernails? And why are you at a castle?
Well, that reason will come much later. It’s a pretty complicated story.
It all began in August 2022, when I decided to move across the country to a new school called Hillmore University. I just wanted to start fresh in a new city and attend one of the best universities in the world for Finance. I didn’t think anything out of the ordinary would happen.
But I got nothing except the opposite. My entire life flipped upside down the moment I stepped onto that campus.
And it all started with them... it all started with directions to a class.
***
One year ago-
“And I thought Stern was huge,” I mutter to myself as I circle the hallway for the third time trying to find my Econ class. I’ve had to go to that class 3 separate times, on 3 separate days, and I still can’t remember how to get there. I see the murals and glass panels (which I’m sure I remember) and think I’m going in the right direction, but end up right back where I started.
It’s the second week, so I wanted to start on a confident note. I have a map with me on my phone, but that only made me more confused. So now I’m back to just walking around until I coincidentally stop in front of the room. The confidence is flowing out of me right now!
Be a transfer student, they said. It will be fun, they said.
Yeah, maybe if you’re not scared out of your wits. What was I thinking by moving all the way from New York City to Dallas?
I loved my time at NYU. I was there for my first year, and it was a year that I would never forget. I had amazing friends and people, was in a great program at Stern for Finance, and still got to be close to home. But even when I was at such a good school, the whole purpose of going there my first year was to prepare for the ultimate dream: Sir Garfield Hillmore University, all the way in Dallas, Texas.
When I saw its rankings and beautiful campus for the first, I instantly knew it would be the best place for me. I’ve been in New York my entire life, so I thought it would be cool to have a change in scenery. Sure, the school’s website is a little dinky and no one I know was even aware of this place’s existence, but the mystery is intriguing. And if mystery means attending the 3rd best undergraduate business school in the US behind Wharton and Sloan, then it doesn’t matter. My parents were always so against me applying here, but they suddenly realized that I need to discover the world and they were all for it. So now...
Nako Kroft School of Management, I have arrived. After a brief stop in Greenwich.
Once my freshman year was over, I spent the entire summer with my friends before I moved down here with my family two weeks before classes began. The funny part? I was so confident about my first week here. I thought I could adapt here quickly and have a stress-free time.
Being here as a full-fledged student is a completely different feeling, though. Now I’m realizing how daunting this place truly is. The school looks like it’s straight out of Fairytale 101, everything looks pristine, and people here are too ethereal to exist. I know that having a crush on your prof is gross sometimes, but have you seen the professors here? I spend more time gawking at them than paying attention to the class, which already tells you how I’m going to do at this school.
I’m not gonna survive here. What was I thinking? I should’ve stayed home. I wasn’t ready for this.
Walking around, I can feel the eyes of people all around me as they take me in. I didn’t know this was TV where everyone can automatically tell who’s the new kid, but that’s how I feel right now. No, the freshmen don’t matter. Let’s see who the new transfer student from New York is as she fails to find a classroom.
I love it here!
Can you sense my frustration?
Just as I’m about to combust from my hopelessness about the situation, a deep yet lively voice gets my attention.
“Excuse me?” it asks with a combination of concern and a bit of amusement.
Wait, is this person talking to me? Maybe I should see who they are. It’ll be embarrassing if they’re not talking to me, though.
Just turn around. At least you can ask them for directions and move on with your day.
True. Screw that, I’ll turn around and see who that nice voice belongs to.
As soon as I turn around, I bite my tongue and just... stare. I stare in front of me, completely immune to the voices of people walking around.
Look, I expected it to be a normal dude who had puberty slap him in the face. But it’s not one guy, it’s TWO. And I mean two VERY gorgeous guys.
Well, everyone else here is gorgeous too, but I never thought to observe them up close. Now that I am, it’s a whole other level of beauty.
I’m pretty tall, so these guys don’t tower over me that much. But even then, they still seem like human skyscrapers. They’re definitely above 6 feet.
The taller guy on the left is silent, and I feel squeamish as I notice his light brown eyes looking at my face in concentration. I’m sure it’s not intentional, but it’s like he’s glaring at me. And with his face being completely blank, I really feel self-conscious.
He looks like a frickin’ model. His height, square face, thick eyebrows, and buff build make him look extremely intimidating. But regardless, his eyes are captivating. I don’t know if it’s because of the hooded shape or their amber color that shines even under the lights, but his stare feels like he’s burning holes in me.
The guy on the right is a little shorter, and he looks very different from his friend. Compared to the mysterious appearance of the first guy, he looks very warm and approachable. He has a resting smiley face and these doe-like dark brown eyes, eyes bigger than anything I’ve seen.
But forget about that, he has so many earrings. The right ear is adorned with a simple silver dangly ear cuff and a helix, and the left ear has matching silver piercings all over the place. Guys with earrings always look so good.
I’ve seen some good-looking guys in my time. These guys, though, are almost an entire league apart from them. They’re so attractive that it’s almost inhuman.
What’s with the people here? There have to be some average-looking and dressed students at this school. For the first time, I actually feel bad about wearing sweats today.
“I told you she wasn’t just taking a walk all the time,” the guy I’m calling Earrings whispers to the guy I’m gonna call Amber-Eyes on the left, wagging his hand in my face to make sure I’m paying attention. I’m guessing Earrings is the one who talked to me first because I recognize the voice.
“So-sorry. Were you talking to me?” I splutter as I break out of my thoughts. And I realize...
Wait a second. I’ve seen these guys before! Yeah, I’ve always seen them here at Kroft whenever I come for class. I admit, I did check them out a couple of times, but that’s all the interaction we ever had. Earrings looked like he always glanced at me whenever I walked near him, but I dismissed it thinking it was in my imagination from being so nervous here. Or that he was silently judging me.
I didn’t think they would actually talk to me, though! Guys like that never talk to me.
Mainly because I never let them approach me. But that’s not the point.
I internally panic as I scratch the back of my neck, but trust me. I made sure to stay as subtle as possible.
“Yeah, there’s no one else here,” Earrings says with a tiny snicker.
My eyes fall on the guys for a second as Earrings starts observing me. His big eyes take me in subtly, trying to see what my deal is. I feel so out of place right now. Seeing how good these guys look and how they smell like chocolate and nutmeg, I’m getting even more self-conscious. I feel myself covering my chest with my arms and locking my knees together as I turn my eyes away from him. Let’s hope he didn’t figure it out.
“Bro, stop staring like that. You’re scaring her,” Amber-Eyes quietly orders Earrings with clenched teeth while Earrings looks at him in confusion.
“I just noticed she didn’t have a S-” And then out of nowhere, Amber-Eyes stomps hard on Earrings guy’s food, making him hiss in pain.
Okay, I don’t know what they’re talking about, but it’s clearly about something with me. I don’t even want to figure it out; it opens up the possibility of being scrutinized and that feeling sucks.
I look down at my sweats and T-shirt, trying to spot any flaws that they could’ve noticed. But then, Amber-Eyes’s voice comes in and breaks me out of it.
“Sorry about that. We saw you walking around, and you seemed kinda lost. Is everything okay?” Amber-Eyes asks me in worry. Compared to his friend, his voice is very velvety and smooth. He could do podcasts with how soothing that tone is.
Wait, how did he know that I was lost? My desperation couldn’t have been that obvious.
“Oh, no. I’m not lost. I was just... taking a walk. Fresh air, you know?” I lie through my teeth, trying to look way less stupid than I already look right now. As you can tell, I’m a master of subtlety. Really, I just want them to get away. It’s only my first week, and I’m already having gorgeous dudes talking to me right now. This is not the time to put myself out there!
But as much as I want to implicitly tell them to leave, I can’t.
Earrings raises his eyebrow at me, and he looks at the model guy before saying, “Fresh air?”
“Yeah! Fresh air.”
“We’re inside a building,” Earrings gestures to the surroundings as I look at him with a cheesed smile that screams “Get me out of here”.
This is why I don’t like to lie. Not just because it’s wrong but because I’m so bad at it.
I notice a wicked smile on his face, which I deserve. I look so dumb right now, I’m surprised they’re not outwardly cackling and turning red.
“Well... it’s pretty fresh out here,” I deny sheepishly. Okay, that was the truth.
Yeah, I guess the restraint thing didn’t work. They can probably see right through me now.
It’s ok. There’s no shame in asking for help, Sarvani. You can’t always do everything on your own.
“Okay, you caught me. I’m trying to find my class,” I confess as Earrings nods his head in understanding with a little victory smirk.
“Which prof?” Amber-Eyes asks.
“Do you know who Dr. Rho is?”
Please know who he is. Everyone else I’ve asked so far either has no idea who I’m talking about or they just laugh at me for being so navigationally challenged.
He gives me a sympathetic smile and a low laugh. “Oh, yeah. His classroom is really hard to find sometimes. I’ve gotten lost many times too,” Amber-Eyes reassures me. “Are you a freshman?”
“Sophomore,” I clarify as Earrings widens his eyes.
“First day?” Earrings wonders curiously. With how low the transfer admission rate is here, he’s probably never met a transfer student before.
“Just transferred.”
“Oh, really?” Earrings asks curiously.
I nod my head with a small smile, juxtaposing his wide, almost excited looking one.
“Cool! Well, welcome to Hillmore. You must be really smart,” he teases while I shake my head vigorously. Yeah, I’m booksmart but definitely not smart in anything else.
“Thanks for the welcome,” I start. “If only I wasn’t so lost. My old school was nothing like this.”
“Where did you go before?”
“NYU,” I clarify before Earrings guy gasps. His already large eyes become the size of two golf balls. He looks like he just saw his favorite celebrity just walking right past him.
“NYU! Nice, that school is amazing! But why did you move here after going to a school like that? It’s a little unexpected,” Earrings gushes, making me raise an eyebrow a little. Seems a bit nosy, doesn’t he? I don’t need to be telling him my entire life story within 5 seconds of meeting him.
“Don’t mind him, he’s been manifesting NYU since elementary school,” Amber-Eyes nudges him lightly to snap him out of it, giving me a soft smile. Almost as if he read my mind.
“Yeah, sorry about that. Didn’t mean to pry, I just didn’t think for people to go from New York City to well... here. It’s pretty random. But cool!” Earrings clarifies shyly while scratching his arm a bit, laughing nervously.
“Yeah, no, I get that. They are pretty far. But Hillmore has Kroft. So that’s why I’m here,” I explain. Amber-Eyes nods slowly as his gaze stays fixed on me for a while, and I feel myself squirming involuntarily. This guy and his stupid smolder. He seems really nice, but those eyes can definitely throw people off.
My eyes land on a dark green thing just resting on Amber-Eyes’s chest. It’s a necklace, a very simple gold chain with a dark green, crystal-like aloe leaf-shaped pendant. Its color gleams under the light, making it look so bright.
I look to the side and figure out that Earrings has the same thing too. But his looks a bit different. It’s also a gold chain, but his pendant is a dark, wine-red sword with a gold filigree handle that shines the same way.
These must be friendship necklaces or something. I mean, they look pretty old to have friendship necklaces, but honestly, you’re never too young to express your undying friendship. Or, they’re dating. If they are, what a hot couple.
I feel like I should say something. He’s staring at me, and I’m staring at him. Those necklaces are stunning, after all. Complimenting them won’t hurt.
“This is a bit out of pocket, but I love your necklaces!” I gesture to their pendants as they look down in confusion. Why are they confused that I’m just complimenting what they’re wearing?
“Necklaces?” Amber-Eyes asks in a baffled way.
“Yeah. Those leaf and sword pendants you guys have,” I repeat while I point to them again. They still look at me as if I said the stupidest thing ever.
They’re wearing necklaces, right? I’m not seeing things, am I? Maybe I should’ve gotten more sleep last night.
Earrings widens his eyes as if it’s finally starting to click, “OH! Oh, thanks! Sometimes I forget we even wear these,” he chuckles nervously as I nod my head slowly.
“Yeah! I’ve never seen anything like them.”
Earrings subtly gulps as his crooked mouth coils into an uncomfortable smile that perks to the left. He’s the awkward one now.
“Oh, you haven’t?” he asks frantically, making me officially weirded out.
“No, I don’t think so,” I finish awkwardly while my brain tries to understand what just happened. Now, that went nothing like I thought it would.
After I stop talking, there’s an awkward pause for a couple of seconds. Amber-Eyes stares daggers into Earrings guy as if he’s mentally scolding him. But suddenly...
“So, are you from Texas?” Amber-Eyes asks me curiously. Huh, that subject change was kinda quick. At least it’s not uncomfortable anymore.
The people here must have a very different definition of boundaries. Everyone who I’ve talked to so far has been asking me really skeptical questions about transferring. Like, where I’m from, why I came here out of all places, and whether I’m scared of this place. It’s a little suspicious if I’m gonna be honest. Is transferring here really that bad?
In that case, no wonder the acceptance rate is like 0.2%.
“Nope. All the way from the Big Apple.”
“Well, you’re really far from home, then. Is it a big change for you?”
“It is. I don’t think I’ve ever been so far from home by myself before,” I say hesitantly, and I feel the model guy smiling empathetically.
“It’ll get better! Don’t worry, the school will feel pretty familiar to you after a while. Speaking of that,” the model guy turns his body towards the mural.
“To go to Rho, you go down this hallway, and you take the first left when you see the mural. And then, you go down that hallway until you take the last right. Rho’s class is the last room on the left,” he instructs as he uses hand gestures to make his directions easier to understand.
What the heck did he do? I think I need to do those hand gestures to myself again. Right, left- no, it’s left- left. Wait, it’s right-
Great, I’m having a brain fart.
“If it’s too much, we can just take you there. Kroft is pretty big, we’ve been where you are,” the model guy offers with a soft smile.
“I think I got it, but thank you for the offer!”
“You sure?” Earrings teases, probably noticing my very obvious confused face.
“No, I’m sure! I got this,” I dismiss with fake confidence and they both nod in understanding. Ok, good. They bought it.
“It’s your second week, right?” Earrings asks. I nod my head, not knowing where he’s going with this. He glances at me blankly as if he’s trying to think. But he suddenly shakes his head and blinks a few times very rapidly.
“Here’s a piece of advice: if people stare at you, just stare back. I promise they’re nice. We don’t get many new students besides the freshmen, so it’s different for us. Don’t be scared. Make friends. You’ll have a lot of fun at this school if you just give it a chance,” he declares with a genuine smile plastered on his face, reaching his eyes and just brightening the entire thing. For the first time, that actually sounded like he was fully confident.
That was probably the most out-of-pocket, abrupt, yet most helpful feedback I’ve heard in a while. But I really don’t know where that came from. It’s as if he knew I was insecure and how some people stare at me like they did earlier.
“Well, thank you, guys, for the help! If it wasn’t for you, I’d be going around the hallway for the 7th time,” I thank them, letting myself smile in front of them. Even if I had reservations about those guys initially, I was very wrong in the end. They genuinely wanted to help me, turns out. I guess there are still some good people in this world. Or maybe I’m just so cynical that I think everyone is out to get me. Despite the moment from before, they seem like good people. Probably just awkward like me.
“No problem. Have fun in your class!” Earrings finishes kindly as the model guy nods in support of what he said and gives me a friendly smile.
“You too!” I return before I turn around to walk toward the mural. But as I hear them leaving, their feet sound so fast. As if they’re speedwalking.
Hm, maybe they’re late to something.
Crap, I completely forgot!
“Wait, what are your-” but before I can turn, they’re just gone from plain sight. I feel a breeze on my face, clearly not from the AC.
“Names?” It’s only been like 2 seconds, they can’t just lightning away.
I should go to class. I mean, it doesn’t hurt to be early, right?
My feet almost have a mind of their own because I start to turn around and walk out of the building to go find them. It doesn’t hurt to make a few connections, right?
I see the two guys talking to each other, walking perfectly in sync along the marble (yes, MARBLE) path. I try to get behind them, but when I hear what Amber-Eyes says, I stop in my tracks. And just listen. They sound like they’re fighting with each other.
“You were so obvious back there!” Amber-Eyes reprimands as Earrings shrugs his broad shoulders, “What was I supposed to do? I didn’t expect that at all,” he wonders.
I don’t think I’m supposed to be listening to this right now; it sounds pretty serious.
“You saw it too, right? How is that possible? It hasn’t happened in 10 years,” Earrings speculates as Amber-Eyes responds, “I did see it. You can’t just freak out like that. She’s gonna start figuring it out. If we see her again, we need to be more careful. She’s definitely going to notice things soon enough.”
Wait, what? Careful around me?
But why? I’m not dangerous. Sure, the biggest threat I pose is tripping on a knife because I’m clumsy, but I’m not an assassin or anything like that. And second off, they just met me. Who the heck are they to judge me?
And freaked out about what? I’m not scared. Not at all.
Oh, I’m doing it again. Jumping to conclusions. Amma always tells me not to do that, yet here I am doing it. I don’t know who or what they’re talking to. Maybe they’re talking about something else they think is dangerous. Or maybe my hearing is bad and I heard something else.
Why do I even care about this? I just met them, for God’s sake. Why am I even eavesdropping on them? Even if what they’re saying is super intriguing. I just wanted to get their names, but maybe not today.
I’m still new here, and I need to keep a distance until I adjust myself. Those guys may have been really sweet, but that’s it. I know nothing about them and what their deal is. So let’s keep it at that: just a simple interaction when I got directions to my Econ class because I’m shit at navigation.
I take a breath before I slowly turn around, trying to make sure they didn’t hear me coming. And I don’t know why, but I feel a pair of eyes on me from behind and then a random sound of a blitz again. There was no way they heard me with how many people were out there. I wasn’t even that close to them either. It’s not my fault they were talking loudly.
While I turn around, I see two really pretty girls staring at me subtly as I walk by them, mainly at my neck. But they just widen their eyes and look at each other as if they saw something life-changing.
Okay, what am I doing that’s so surprising? Why are people so perturbed by my existence here?
Yeah, I’m definitely sleep-deprived. I really need to take a nice hot shower and give myself a head massage after the madness of today.
I didn’t think those two guys would ever approach me, but they did. And while they seemed really nice, something about them is still confusing me. I should’ve been scared of them. And honestly, I was at first. But not them; they seemed more scared of me than I was of them.
Well, at least I know how to get to Econ now. I should head there before I’m late.
But you know what I got from today?
If that’s how strange they were being with me, then they’re probably not going to be the only ones. And as much as I want to know why, I can’t be late to class because of one conversation.
I’ll give it a week. And then, I’ll really begin to notice what makes this place tick.
