Bird Lady

Penelope Miles, that was birth name. I didn’t like this name, not one bit. The only part I enjoy about it, is my last name, Miles. My dream is to be like my birds. Every morning, I open my window and spread bird seed all around. They flock to me, it’s as if they know I am already a part of their secret society. I admire their beautiful wings and the different species I see. The colors in my mind are exactly like a rainbow; beautiful and something magical. The deep red of the cardinals, the sunset patterns on the red-winged black bird and the subtle gray/blue of a tufted titmouse. None of them flew away from me when I would observe each and every one up close. They trusted me to protect them, and I assured them each morning that I would never let harm come to them.

Why couldn’t I be a bird? I want to leave this boring place and fly high in the sky with my friends. When my friends flew away after they had had their fill, it was time for me to unfortunately go to work. Going to work was such a tedious task I despised, but there was a positive; I worked at a pet store. My apartment was not that far away from this pet store, so I would walk there every morning. Before I left though, I had a unique routine for getting ready. Similar to birds, I would run a cold bath after I fed the birds. When the tub was partially filled, I would then begin to strip out of my nightgown and dip my legs in the tub. Sometimes the water would be a little too cold and I would wait a few moments before trying to go in leg first again. The water happened to be something I could tolerate this morning. However, I don’t fully dip my whole body in the tub and instead, I start to plunge my arms into the water.

I scoop water with my hands and splash it onto my body; this is the best way I could try and mimic a bird bath. This is one of the few ways I truly felt I was like a bird. I don’t stay in the tub very long, once I feel I’ve splashed enough water onto myself, I begin to step out and drain the tub. I never use soap when I do this because birds don’t use soap to clean themselves, so why should I follow through with it? I want the birds to feel as close to me as possible and anyway I can do this, no matter how unorthodox, I will be what the birds want me to be. Being a part of the birds also means you need to look like one. Unfortunately, there are very few ways I can show this because by society standards, I have to at least look normal. As I finish brushing my teeth, I begin to decide my outfit, which consists of light blue jeans, plenty of bird t-shirts, a cardigan to match whatever colored shirt I decided on and of course my blue feathered scarf. I consistently wear a blue t-shirt with a different blue bird on it along with my dark blue cardigan. My dream is to be some type of blue bird, if I ever were to become one. Would I be soaring through the endless feeling summits like a Mountain bluebird? Be as cautious a Blue Jay? Or maybe be as cool and adaptable as a Barn Swallow?

When I put on my brightly colorful ensemble, I rush out the door. I try to be there early before anyone else to check in on the animals. Early bird gets the worm, right? Instead of walking at a normal pace, I skipped out of my apartment building. I skip because it is the closest thing I will ever get to flying like a bird. When I skip, my feathery scarf floats in the air for half a second. This makes me so happy because I start to picture myself in the sky. It only takes me 10 minutes to get to work and I grab my keys to unlock the shop doors. The various animals all screech and howl at me as I walk in. We have so many animals; cats, dogs, various reptiles and rodents, but of course my favorite being the birds. The birds are blessing me with their angelic chirping and beating their wings at the sight of me walking toward them.

The birds are always the first to get my attention, I feed them and chirp back at them to show I understand and appreciate them. I hate how we keep our birds in cages, they need to be free. These poor yellow finches, parrots, cockatoos and parakeets are never going to know what it’s like to be free. I have been devising a plot for a bit now and I think tonight is the perfect night to do so. Once I am done feeding and caring for the birds, my excitement fades as I go to feed the other animals. I would never bring harm to a cat, dog or even a reptile, they just remind me of how they hurt my friends. An hour passes and one of my co-workers comes in, she is always a few minutes late which is why I come in early.

She greets me with a good morning and babbles on and on about her crazy weekend. I pretend to care, and I do a pretty good job at it too. I selectively listen to the parts which she wishes me to respond to, but all I can think about is the birds. The birds also seem to be listening to her calmly while she bores me with her typical weekend life. By midday, I am saved from her constant dribble, and I am able to focus on my favorite thing, talking about the birds. We get a few customers who have a passion for birds and ask me important questions on their care or food they should eat. Some even ask vital questions like what a good starting bird is to own and should they look into clipping their birds' wings. My enthusiasm spills out and truly sometimes I think I may frighten the customers with my vast knowledge. Around my lunch break, I skip to a local convenience store and pick up several jars of peanut butter and a variation of seeds and nuts that the birds will enjoy. Before I leave the cashier makes light conversation with me and jokes about how many jars of peanut butter I have. Man, making these pointless small talk conversations bore me, I just want to attend to my birds.

I skip back to the pet store, and I notice how hot it is in the afternoon. I decided to leave the peanut butter outside and open it to melt it a bit. It’s all a part of my plan I’ve been devising for the birds trapped in the store. My co-worker notices me outside, ripping open peanut butter jars and leaving them in the front of the store. As I walk in, she also makes jokes about me leaving them out front. I try to laugh it off, but I also want her to stop talking. Her voice sends a shiver up my spine. She is just so immature in several ways and intellectual was not in her category. It is later on in the day and now the night slowly creeps up on us. My coworker finally leaves a few hours before closing and I pretend to be disappointed, but I am finally at peace. My skipping starts to turn into hops, as I know she is long gone. A bird hops I feel when they are excited and not just for jumping around. The birds notice me and chirp with me as I do so. However, I hear the sound of our door opening. I turn around, red faced and it is a customer who doesn’t look at me as though I am not all there in the head. He is a tall and slender man, with messy blonde hair and glasses. Zits invade his face, and he looks like he may be a college student. For some reason, I am attracted to him. I am a 35-year-old woman, I shouldn’t feel this way about a 20 something year old. But his slender features and awkward posture, it’s almost like he is an Avian sent to fulfill my wishes. His wandering gaze also heads towards the birds, and he looks at me with a shy grin.

“Excuse me miss; I was wondering about one of the parakeets over here.” I just stare at him; he is just so unique. I could feel heat up and started to feel tense as he spoke. He looked back at the parakeet he was looking at; he was a mix of blue and gray with specks of black on the face and feathers. The young adult spoke to the bird so gently and this was who I needed at this moment. My plan that I have been devising would finally come into fruition. I rushed out of the store and grabbed several of the peanut butter jars, being careful not to drop a single one on the ground. I burst back through the pet shop doors and placed all the jars on the counter. Startling the young man slightly by the suddenness of my actions, but he looked back at the bird without any questions.

He is the one. He will make my dreams come true. He will once and for all save me from this pitiful world. I walked over to the door with my keys and to avoid the young man hearing the click of the key in the lock, I had finally answered his question.

“Parakeets are amazing, they are the perfect companion for beginner bird owners. That particular one you’re looking at actually has been returned to our store a few times due to his shy nature. He pecks at those he doesn’t trust.” The door locks in the middle of this and the young man barely bats an eye. He again smiles with that awkward grin and looks at me.

“May I possibly try to hold him? Maybe I can help him ease his stress. People can be so cruel. “My heart skipped a beat and I felt it was fluttering out of my chest like a hummingbird. Without saying anything, I opened the cage and guided the bird he wanted toward me. The parakeet hopped onto my hand no problem. The young man whistled and held out his long limb of an arm for the bird to hop onto. At first the parakeet seemed hesitant, but after a few moments, the parakeet hopped onto his arm and happily chirped. The young man giggled slightly, and I could tell by his face that in his heart he needed to take this bird. Who was this gentle man? I need him to help me with said plan.

This is what I had to do; it was time to put my plan into action. “You know, I want to set these birds free. This pet store is restrictive and more of a cage to them. Birds need to fly freely.” The young man’s expression seemed curious and looked like he was catching onto what I was saying.

“At my college, we have a secret group, ya know? Where we go to a pet store in the area and adopt an animal to us that needs to be set free. This is what I was planning on doing with this little guy, but maybe I will keep him.” This kid, he really truly was sent to me by Horus himself. I walk over to the jars of peanut butter, and I grab two jars. The kid looks at me shocked as I dump two jars of melted peanut butter all over my body. I grab two more and continue the process until I dump the last jar onto me. I then grab the nuts and bird see bags and rip them open. I then dump them onto my gummed-up body and the boy begins to slightly shift his facial expression to impressed.

“You let the birds feed off of you, that’s rad! What do you want me to do? Release them so they flock to you?” I nodded and the boy excitedly released the birds out of their cages. Strikes of yellow, green, blue, red and white fluttered around as the young man released every kind of bird we had in our store. The birds naturally flocked to me and began feeding on everything they found on me. Pecking away at the nuts and seeds. The young man began to chuckle at the sight, but his laughter quickly faded once he could see what was truly happening. The cockatoos began pecking off chunks of skin from my arm and blood slowly poured into the peanut butter. The parrots went for my eyes and plucked them out of my sockets. The smaller birds such as the parakeets and finches began to nibble away at my legs and toes.

This was all for the bird god, Horus. Horus was going to set me free, as the birds devour my flesh, a part of me will be in them. Every bird would soon be set free and a part of me will live in each of them as they make their journey to freedom.

The young man ran to the door, in cold sweat and his now pale face tried to open the door. His screams startled the birds, and they began to fly around the shop. My body bruised, bloodied and blinded now, I began smiling and laughing. My laugh echoed throughout the store, and I began shouting “FOR HORUS!!! I SHALL SEE YOU SOON MY LORD.” I took my last few breaths of life, and I felt the peanut butter harden. Life faded from my body, and I stood frozen. The young man found the keys on the counter, opened the door and along with him, all the birds flew out of the store at once. There I stood, like a tree in the center of the pet store. The sockets from where my eyes once were, rested beneath my cheek. The sight was truly gruesome, bits of flesh missing or covered in scarlet blood. A smile, however, was still on my face when life left me. I am now with the skies, wings endlessly flapping and finally being free.