What is your opinion?
review
"Your writing is clean and good. Your story is also very intriguing. Good Job! Can you also read and review my story as well. It is called "No Suicide," and it's a self-therapy book on mental health. Here is the link: https://www.inkitt.com/stories/other/206505"
Well done
"I admire your creativity. You have written a great piece. I want to promote your Inkitt book for free to my list of newsletter subscribers. If that is alright by you then please email me at cbdoungd876 AT gmail.com to book your spot, thanks."
Puppeteer - Review
"You appear to be writing this in first person present i.e recounting events as they happen to the individual concerned. First off, this is very difficult to do even for an accomplished writer because you can only see events unfolding from the protagonist’s point of view, which doesn’t give you any scope to bring third parties’ view points into the story. Secondly, you keep slipping from present tense to past tense and back again throughout – it all needs to be consistent. I have to say that I am intrigued by the story and the construction that you have adopted – apart from the first person present. I believe that the whole story would be much more believable in third person narrative. You seem to have the vision and the ideas, but you do need to work on dialogue, sentence construction and choice of words – there are some words and phrases that do not sound very mature. The Matthew character seems far too sympathetic for what he is there to do. What I think you need to do is go back over the work, try it in third person narrative and take out words and phrases that don’t carry the story forward. One superfluous point that springs to mind is when her hair falls over her eyes and she describes the colour – although the reader will eventually want to know this, in the shock of discovering her predicament this is not something that would immediately spring to mind to her to register. It could be built into some later writing. You also describe her as being partially unclothed. Given that this is a horror story I think you really need to go further than that – it doesn’t have to have any sinister connotations, there might be a simple explanation, but to have her unclothed wearing just an unfamiliar robe might inject a frisson of intrigue. Good ideas, but needs reworking somewhat. Good luck with it. If you feel like reciprocating, I have the following novels up for the contest which could do with a download and chapter read. Wouldn’t mind reviews as well. To Hell with the Harp! www.inkitt.com/stories/149100 Slippered! www.inkitt.com/stories/148145 Hair of the Dog www.inkitt.com/stories/147116"
