Passionless existence
Florence Boyd stands on the edge of a skyscraper in New York City. Ready to jump and end her life just as she remembers she can’t. Not because she’s afraid or there’s someone worth living for, but what would people think if they saw a girl who just jumped from the 51st floor of a building and survived?
The cool breezy wind nipped in her face and the wind ruffled her silky mousy hair. Florence stands on the edge of the building looking down towards the loud and alive city until she finally looks upward. The red and orange-tinted sky with streaks of pink seemed like a daydream but she wasn’t impressed. The look on her face was still flat and emotionless. She’s seen a thousand more beautiful sunsets than this. This was just an ordinary sunset to her.
“So you’re not going to jump after all?”
She slowly turns around and sees a middle-aged man laying down on his back with one arm draped over his forehead admiring the sky. She observes him taking in every detail of him. His black hair is a mess from last night, His white T-shirt is stained with yellow mustard and a big rip in his black jeans. He looks hungover.
Has he been there the whole time?
She turned her body fully towards him and whispered,
“Only if you watch.”
All at once, she spreads her arms open then leans back slightly and just lets the wind take her.
Her eyes slowly fluttered open. She takes in her surroundings and sees a white room with green tiles along the baseboards. Her first thoughts weren’t how did I live but
I hope that man saw me die. it’s not like he’ll remember anyway.
She props herself up slowly as if she just took a nap, it was a nap to her. She propers herself on the edge of the table, clasped both of her hands together, and stretched it above her head. She hops off the table and walks towards the mirror and just stares. Not a scratch. She runs her fingers through her knotted hair trying to make herself look tolerable just before the double doors to the medical room split open and the Pathologist’s mouth dropped open. Speechless.
The Pathologists just walked in on a dead girl brushing her hair.
He stands there pale and traumatized. He’s moving his mouth wanting to speak but stands there uncommunicative. The first thing she thought of was to scare him more. She walked past him bumping into his shoulder a little, she just kept walking down the long narrow hallways until she was certain she was out of sight. He’ll forget in a few seconds. Florence let out a small chuckle and walked out of the mortuary unstopped.
She walked past five alleyways, all filled with rats and trash, back into the city going towards the building where she jumped off. It’s not blocked off by crime scene tape nor is there a news report of a girl jumping off a building.
“I’m so tired of trying to die.” Florence groans.
“I’m so tired of trying to live.” A man responded. She turns her head towards the person speaking and tilts her head upward to see his face. Now she’s the one left voiceless with a bunch of questions left unanswered. She just can’t but stare, he’s cleaned himself up. His hair was washed along with a new shirt with no stains and a new pair of denim jeans. They both stand there for a while just fixating on each other.
“I remember you.” The man says breaking the silence between them. Bliss is beating through her chest.
This man watched her fall off a building this morning. No, he watched her commit suicide.
No one ever remembers her. She doesn’t remember what it means to breathe.
