Chapter 1
A girl, a girl that has lived long enough to learn the truth about life...she loves her family and friends and try's her best to be happy.
Shes 15...not very tall but has a height of 5,3 and a half..She has brown hair and kinda blonde tips. She wears glasses, but only when she home so no one knows..She smiles but behind that smile lies the deepest darkest secrets...Shes kind to most and trys to make everyone smile..
5/12/23
As the day began she felt and overwhelming feeling of not wanting to get out of bed. Although her dad was yelling for her to wake up. no matter how hard she tried she couldn't find a way to get up. Eventually when she did get up she got a sharp pain in her head. It didn't bug her at first, while she was getting dressed she was degrading herself. Bringer herself down because she knew that no matter what she wore she would never be good enough to make anyone happy or fit in.
In the end she wore a white shirt with leggings. Over that shirt, like she does every time she wore a black zip up jacket. She then walked to the bathroom and curled her hair so she didn't look like a fucking frensy, crazy ass bitch. As she sat in her bathroom alone, she thought about her and her friends conversation and it made her feel sick as she remembered that today not only sucked because her depression was bad but it was the day that she was touched inappropriately by someone she thought she could fucking trust.
As she thought about it, it slowly started to ruin her day, but as everyday. She would fake it. She pretended to be happy so her mother wouldn't notice, or her siblings. Once shes ready, her and her sister headed off to school, while they walk to school she lets her sister ramble on and vent about what's been happening. Then half way to the school she saw her best friend and his sister.
The moment she realized what her and her best friend talked about she felt sick. And then once again it happened...she brushed it off and kept trying to smile..obviously she stayed quiet.
Eventually her best friend asked "Why are you so quiet." She didn't know what to say, the words drowned her. As she looked at him in silence he realized that what they had talked about got to her. Once they got to school, she searched around looking for her boyfriend. The moment she found him she hugged him and kissed him. They both said good morning. The bell then rang and she walked to class with her best friend. When they got into class her and her best friend sat by each other. She felt overwhelmed and upset...and her best friend could tell. She then wrote her essay like told to and texted her best friend. As they texted she held back tears.
After that class, as normal everyday she'd meet up with her other friend, dab him up then talk to him for a bit, but instead she didn't say a word and asked her best friend "Can we just go see my boyfriend." He nodded and they both said bye to there friend. Once she got up the stairs she saw one of her friends, that friend hugged her. She smiled and then said bye to that friend and rushed over to her boyfriend. Once she got over there, her boyfriend sat there talking to his friends, and put his phone in his pocket then turned and hugged her. She shoved her face in his shoulder and closed her eyes trying not to cry.
He then said "Oh, baby whats wrong." Eventually she teared up more and looked her boyfriend in the eyes. Kissed him and then shoved her face back into his shoulder. Feeling safe she clinched the back of his shirt in the palm of her hand and he hugged her tighter. "Will you tell me later," He asked, she nodded. "I love you." He said. She then mumbled "I love you too." But he didn't hear. "I love you," he repeated. She then spoke up and said it back. She then let him go, kissed him again and walked to class. Once she got in she sat in her seat and her best friend once again sat right by her. She then opened her computer and did her bell work. After a few classes she saw her boyfriend and hugged him the same way as she did the second time. they then kissed and his friends walked over making fun of how sensitive she was.
"Wah, Wah, Wah" they said and laughed. She then hurried down the stairs to her class. Right as soon as she got into class the office called down her, her best friend and her sister then a few more people. Her and her best friend turned around and walked to the office they then walked in and one of the office people gave them a certificate. They both smiled and walked back to class. She then sat down and did her work, throughout that class she held back tears. Eventually a tear fell down her cheek, she hurried and whipped it. After that class she went to lunch, she then started to feel better.
She went and got food and ate a little bit. After she went outside where her boyfriend was. She felt that pain in her head again and her friend held her up. As she almost passed out she went and sat down feeling like she was going to throw up because she was once again thinking about the places that mans hands had explored. She then got back up and stayed there. Her boyfriend then made her sit down and he sat next to her. The bell rang not too long after her.
She then hugged her boyfriend, kissed him and walked to class. After class she met with her boyfriend and her best friend told her boyfriend what happened. Her boyfriend was surprised. After school she hugged her boyfriend and went home.
When she got home she called her boyfriend and talked to him for a bit. While she talked to him she noticed that he kinda was treating her like shit so she just stopped talking. Eventually he had to go. They then hung up and she did her chores. As she did her chores she thought about self harm. She thought about the things she could do to harm herself or how she could take her life. She thought of burning her thighs like she normally did. She thought of doing an Od on her seizure meds. She was normally like this, she would always think of ways to harm herself.
After, her mom and dad then came home and did the things they needed to she then ate dinner and went to her room texted her boyfriend. Eventually she went to the bathroom and forced her fingers down her throat. Once again a normal thing for her to do, she didn't want to gain weight. Who would like her then? Later in the day she then went to bed.
