What is your opinion?
Great Start
"I only read one chapter, but I'm already intrigued about what will happen next. Ballard's journey to find the cure for his mom doesn't seem like it will be an easy one and I wish he would've left his mom an sister in better care."
I absolutely LOVED it!
"To me, few are the tales that is this captivating and well written. I'll be honest, in my humble opinion, I think you made an excellent introduction to the characters. I won't deny I misjudged it when I glanced the trigger warning and read the first 2 lines, BUT then I ENJOYED it a great deal. I'm glad you have given us such likeable main character. Thank you! Looking forward to how the story develops, I really can't wait to read about Bell's perilous adventures!"
The Ballard of Nightmares
"I'm reviewing when there is only one chapter available, so as far as the plot goes, I can't say much since there hasn't been enough time for it to develop. However, I do think it's moving too fast, and we haven't really gotten to know Ballard and his mother and why she's being treated this way. Why should we care about them? What is this Curse? Can we get some backstory before we go on this quest? I think anyone can sympathize with a boy wanting to save his mom, but is this a situation like Anakin Skywalker saving his mom (which turned out horribly and sent him on a warpath) or is it like the Percy Jackson movie which cements Percy in mythical history (even in the actual myth Perseus does his quests for the sake of saving his mother). These are things we need to maybe parse out by getting to know the character first. Their situation, their family dynamic. Why should I care about his sister being left behind when I barely know anything about this sister? And why should we trust the doctor when he's clearly... Pretty untrustworthy? Does Ballard not think of this? These are all things that need to happen before launching into the main plot. What this story needs is some exposition. And I get wanting a more in medius res beginning, but if that's the vibe you're going for, maybe start out in the middle of the quest and have these parts be told in flashbacks? I think that'd be an engaging way to have a more action-forward start but still some exposition. Overall, though, I think this can have the makings of a good story, you just need to really parse out your characters, slow things down, and prove to the reader why we should care. What are the stakes? "
