What is your opinion?
Curiosity is killing me!!!
"First of all, I ABSOLUTELY love that we're counting back from the days before the first chapter which just adds onto the interest factor. I haven't seen this style in books before! The plot keeps getting better and I want to believe the narrative is exactly how the character thinks, and how they deal with their thoughts. Also loved the swift shift in writing style between the bold sentences and the whole thing, that really did it for me to be hooked! For advice, given your plot style, there is so much potential in you writing. I'm sure with time, your style will up itself eventually. Grammar is on pointe, structure is good to go - the style will gradually grow on you :)) Great job Anna <33"
Nice
"1. The story plot was good and it was well written. 2. All the romcom and hea books I read could be blamed because this story was really dark for me. 3. The bullying the main character (Ana) goes through is very heart breaking but the way she murders the student(Millie) is very scary for me. 4. The hypocrisy and the physical abuse coming from bullies was enough to ignite anger and irritation. 5. The author has potential to write. "
THE DEVIL IN ME
"This story gotten me hooked at the start from the gore. The writing style was good, and I liked the character development. The main character as a technical villain is just really interesting. And it makes me to not put the book down. However, the punctuation like every writer isnt perfect. I say this in the nicest way possible that the punctuation isn't great because you "add this as an example", in actual stories, and professionally published stories it is "like this," there were some other punctuation mistakes like not adding a question mark when someone is asking a question. And adding many paragraphs may be good for leting the reader consume information easier. But usually in kids books it has that; short sentences and a lot of paragraphs in for the kids to consume information easier. But in stories like in the horror language. Teens and above are pretty capable of consuming information with just a wall of text. However, you can add spaced our paragraphs when there is a twist of the story. And make sure to not add too much violence in your story. I hope this is useful, I will help you with the grammar in this story if you like. I would like to help you to make your stories better! Hope this review helped! What a great read well done!"
Mysterious and Intriguing!
"Honestly, it’s a great, attention keeping plot. If I didn’t need sleep I probably would’ve read through it in one sitting and I am anticipating the future chapters! I’m invested for sure. Barely, if any at all, grammar or punctuation errors. I was able to read it fluently without seeing mistakes. The characters, plot, and emotions in this are written very well. I do recommend this book to horror or mystery/thriller lovers! "
THE DEVIL IN ME
"So good you'll want to read more, and eventually will be attached If you're hesitating to read the book.. DON'T because you'll love it! Congratulations on winning 1st place in the CLOUDS Competition Anna!"
THE DEVIL IN ME
"Amazingly written,🙂"
The devil on me
"I just came across this book! Screaming internally that I'm glad I did! I read the first chapter and its BRILLIANT. Job well done by the author and I will be reading more"
THE DEVIL IN ME
"Hey Anna, firstly wanna say a big thanks for coming up with this book! Usually, I don’t read that much of horror stuff but I gotta say this was one eye-catching work which I enjoyed reading!😆 With every turn of the page, something new is unravelled about Anna (I found it hilarious that your pen name is also Anna😂) and the readers are constantly kept in suspense. This was exactly what pulled me into this tale! First of all, gotta say the book cover is absolutely stunning!✨ It looks quite sophisticated— the black-and-white colour scheme and the uniquely odd font elevated the dark aura the book is trying to get at. Not to mention, the creepy looking girl which (personally) sent chills heheh I think you did a great job here — at one glance, you can easily expect it to be a horror/thriller book. I was also hooked by the press note on the first page — it instantly set up the eerie tone for the rest of the story. What I admired about this story was how psychologically-oriented it was. Apart from typical horror stories which mainly rely on paranormal activities/jumpscares to induce tension, your story builds strongly around this supposed “voice” which Anna keeps hearing. Personally, i feel the mind is a very impactful thing and when it starts haunting you to make bad decisions/murder, it becomes scarier; way more scarier than typical chills you get from seeing paranormal stuff. To a great extent, Anna’s mind voices are well articulated and they elevate the eerieness of the tale. At one point, she’s feeling bad for killing the victim while at others, she expresses no guilt— this split personality is apt in creating the mysterious aura associated with the book; a smart move indeed! The whole “voice”, I felt was a very unique concept which not many would explore. And it worked well — it keeps the readers guessing whether an evil entity was residing inside of Anna or if she was just hallucinating. This constant suspense was kept almost throughout the entire book which was amazing to see. More than the storyline, I’m impressed with Anna’s characterisation in this tale. She’s one of those morally grey characters whom isn’t entirely right nor wrong per se. At times, I find myself sympathising with her and finding her actions of hurting others justifiable. And at other times, I get frustrated with them. This is really a great sign of a strong, multi-dimensional character who doesn’t fall flat. The concept of bullying and the hurt surrounding it was also greatly touched on throughout which I found brave and matured of you to do so; though I would have liked to see greater descriptions on how Anna felt when she was “bullied”. Another aspect I felt could have been better were the number of characters. I just felt there were just a bit too many?😅 I know characters like Tina, Lisa, Sarah etc. are crucial in showing how much hurt was inflicted on Anna. But I would rather prefer sticking to one or two negative side characters and developing them more rather than numerous underdeveloped characters! But yea, apart from this, the storyline was one which captivated me thoroughly!🤩 Now moving onto the language and technical aspect, which I feel there is room for improvement. I found it creative that you switched between past and present between subsequent chapters, but I just felt it was kinda abrupt at times. Like I would be invested in a flashback and when it switched back to present, it kinda shifts the focus away, diluting the main essence. (Maybe, this could be just my personal feeling😅) But yea, I would have preferred if the frequency of switching between past and present was toned down abit heheh! I also feel the descriptions of places and people could have been better and more thorough to paint a darker setting on the reader’s mind instead of just relying on Anna’s mind voice to do the work. On that note, I gotta say, I absolutely loved your sentences (Anna’s mind voice) highlighted in bold — they were so philosophical and packed powerful messages which was so beautiful to read!💫 There were also a bit of spelling and grammatical errors which can definitely be brushed up! Especially, do be careful of your tenses and try to stick to either past or present tense without interchanging throughout the story! There seemed to be several punctuation errors (mostly misplaced commas) especially those involving dialogues. So I thought I would just share some of the technical aspects on that😋 — 1. When someone says something, there should be a comma before the closing inverted commas. Here’s an example from Chapter 1: “Anna”, she said.❌ “Anna,” she said.✅ 2. When a dialogue is followed by an action, there should be a full stop before the closing inverted commas. Here’s an example from Chapter 7: “Stop. Please stop”, I closed my ears. ❌ “Stop. Please stop.” I closed my ears. ✅ Another part about of dialogues which I felt could be improved is the constant use of “person A asked” followed by “person B replied.” One such example is from Chapter 4 when Anna goes to Marie for her second session. We clearly know that there are only two people in the scene and so, we can get rid of the “she asked” and “I replied” . For any scene with only two people interacting, you can simply leave it hanging with those quotation marks; it looks neater and saves a lot of time as well!😁 Perhaps, more use of vocabulary terms and varying sentence structures can make the work less monotonous. All in all, this work has great potential with an intriguing & thrilling storyline! With further editing, especially in the use of language, this story can soar to greater heights and I believe it can!👍 I’m just a puny reader and these are just my personal opinions, so please don’t take any “criticisms” to heart hehe and it’s completely up to you whether you wanna listen to my opinions! After all the author knows what's best for the story!😆 I’m glad that I read this book and can’t wait to read the upcoming chapters! Keep writing and keep shining!💫 Cheers!🥞 "
