Small Bump in the Road
Y/N POV
Justin and I were spending the long weekend in our cozy little cottage nestled in a peaceful village, just outside of Canada. We sat on the couch outside sipping our coffees, feeling the cool morning-dew air awaiting the sun to fully come up. I had a gut feeling that Justin may have woken up on the wrong side of the bed as he was being suspiciously quiet. He did this from time to time but it was almost impossible to tell if he was in a bad mood, or simply just being quiet. Nevertheless I stayed silent, waiting for him to show me a sign, but I started getting antsy. The words itched at the back of my throat, don't say it, don't say it, I fought with my thoughts.
"What's wrong babe?" I heard myself say, instantly regretting it. Justin huffed out air through his nose and set his mug down on the table.
"Nothing Y/N" was all he said.
Birds sang their cheerful melodies filling in for the tension and awkward silence. Maybe there was truly nothing wrong. But he said my name, and we all know when names are brought in, something is clearly wrong, right? I fixed my posture thinking it would bring confidence to my attempts I was about to make.
"The weather is supposed to be really nice today, not too hot but it'll stay sunny at least..." I glanced in his direction, watching him swipe his thumb up and down his phone screen.
"So we're talking about the weather now?" He mocked. I rolled my eyes, why's he being like this, I thought.
"You didn't let me finish. I was going to say we should go for a hike, we haven't done that in a while". My words fell onto deaf ears as Justin continued aimlessly scrolling. I now sunk in my chair bringing my knees up to my chest. I got goosebumps on my tan skin as the wind blew, carrying pollen in the air. Spring was the perfect time to spend all day outside, it never gets too hot to the point of not being able to stay out for more than 10 minutes. You can be sure that there's always a slight breeze. It almost makes up for those pesky allergies. Coming up North always made it worse but it was one of my favourite places to be in the spring time.
"Go for a hike then" Justin brought me out of my thoughts. He's definitely in a bad mood after all. Do I dare ask if he wants to come with me? Maybe I won't give him the option.
"We can finish our coffee and then go" I said point blank, hoping he'd say okay, but instead he shook his head.
"No I don't want to go anywhere Y/N. I am busy" my name sounded even worse this time as it rung in my ear. Fuck it, I thought, "Justin what the hell!? What's wrong, there's clearly something bothering you and instead of just telling me you're choosing to be childish" I said finally. He put his phone down but didn't say anything as he looked my way. He frowned, squinting his eyes with the sun now shining in his face. I could tell he could see my facial expression but still didn't utter a word. I sighed getting up from my chair and going into the house. I don't know why he was acting like this or what happened from the time he woke up till now but he was being a total ass. Barley any words were exchanged, and yet I was so angry. But that was just it, Justin knew that saying as little as possible frustrated me enough to walk away and leave him alone. My eyes filled with tears, as I got dressed in a rage, fighting with getting my leg through the hole of my bike-shorts.
"Ugh" I grunted getting annoyed now that my emotions were getting the best of me. From our bedroom I could hear the rattle of the backdoor close, followed by footsteps coming up the stairs. I quickly brushed my face to avoid Justin seeing me cry but I wasn't fast enough.
"Y/N why are you always crying? I didn't even do anything and you're making me out to be the bad guy." I was taken back by Justin's harsh tone.
"Are you serious!?" I over expressed, "I am crying because you frustrate me. You weren't even talking to me, and we both know somethings wrong which makes it even more infuriating. How would you feel if you knew something was wrong and weren't getting through to me because I was simply choosing to be a dick?" My tears had dried up by now. I saw red as I got closer to Justin and my words grew louder, but not to a yell (although I really wanted to).
"Okay fair, but I didn't want to talk about it. I would have brought it up when I was ready but instead you just pry it out of me and it just resorts to this" Justin threw his hands out in front of him, motioning to himself and to me. I knew what he meant but would it be so hard for him just to say that from the beginning?
"Okay then just say somethings bothering you and that you'll talk about it when you're ready. It doesn't do me any good to be left wondering if I am the one who caused it when you act like this after I ask you a simply question" I sighed after I spoke letting my shoulders ease before sitting on the chair we have in the corner of our room. Silence enveloped us for a while, allowing the anger to subside. Eventually, Justin broke the silence, his voice gentle and remorseful.
"Babe... I am sorry. I am in my head about this performance I have coming up. It's been so long I am like numb to the outside world because I am just so nervous. I don't know what's gotten into me. I never get like this" I could tell Justin was scared, and I didn't blame him for it. He just needs to be reassured that he can come to me when things like this happen.
"I get so overwhelmed with the thoughts in my head that I just don't know what to do or how to express it so I guess it just comes out as..." he paused for a moment, "as it did today". He walked over by me with his head hung low and he knelt down in front of me, crossing his arms over my lap. In a moment of vulnerability, Justin hands looked for mine and he held onto them tightly, seeking solace and reassurance.
"I made an oath to you when I married you to acknowledged that disagreements were a natural part of any relationship, but they also involve the importance of open communication, empathy, and forgiveness" Justin's voice was so poetic, it made me smile, "I broke that promise today and I am sure it won't be the last time", he half chuckled, "but for now I apologize for my immaturity and lack of understanding when it comes to being considerate of your feelings, baby". Justin stayed draped over me a little while long before slowly lifting up his head. I combed my fingers through his ear length hair leaning down to kiss him. I put my forehead to his and looked at his eyes through my lashes.
"I love you so much, you know that right? I know how it feels to be so consumed in anxiety, you don't have to apologize for being human, just try to remembered that I'll always be here. Come to me before it gets to the breaking point because it's going to feel so much better, trust me" I smiled, earning a smile back from him. He stood up and held his arms out for a hug, pressing his hand against my face so I could rest it on his thumping chest. We stayed like this for a moment, and I indulged in his embrace, closing my eyes and feeling at peace.
End
