Short Review

"The professional vibe of the synopsis made me very excited but the story left much to be desired. The entire first chapter (and only chapter it would seem) was an inconsistent dialogue between Belladonna and Trey. There were parts where they repeated some things and I kept asking myself, how hard is it to stick to one name for Belinda? Also, Belladonna did not sound like someone who was getting over an unrequited crush when she was dealing with Trey. If I recall correctly this is a horror story, so there should be you know, more gore. The only opportunity the author gave themself in that regard was the email attachment Belladonna received. I was rather disappointed by the lack of description of the file except for Belladonna's reaction to it. The chapter needed more in terms of setting and description. Also, why did Trey call her if he had not wanted her to come back and help find her older sister? Another thing, the title of Belinda's show should have been in quotation marks or italics. Also, Belinda's behaviour as a troublemaker is inconsistent with the image of someone who had to fight for the custody of her little sister. "