What Ever Happened to Ellyn Lyss?

Dear most beloved friend,

I didn't want to tell anyone of this. Not even you, dear friend. I couldn't bear the result of this precious script falling into inappropriate hands.

But I can't keep my secret forever. Keeping it in would only filter me to a boiling point. By this time, you can have no idea what is going on. Allow me to alleviate any grievous fears that may have entered your countenance.

I'm in no danger. At least not right now. But I have a fear-a nagging fear, that something may happen to me. It is probably of no consequence, but I feel in constant distress. My previous husband, Andrew Mitchell. Has been driving his car back and forth outside of my house. It scares my daughter half to death. Andrew...well, to put it simply, is not a person you would want to anger. He has quite the temper, and during our eight-year marriage, I was often the object of his abuse.

I don't believe in divorce. In fact, I am highly against it. I believe God destined a man and a woman to be together always, in a committed way, of course. But Andrew, well, he was a gruff man, and my associates had begun to notice the strange discolored bruises appearing on my and face and decided to do something about it.

I find myself in constant fear of my ex-husband. I believe he is capable of anything. Nothing can stop him once he puts his mind to something. However, that is not the end of my worries. I also feel deep concern for my patients. As a psych nurse for traumatized patients, I've had my fair share of disturbing stories. But a recent patient I've acquired, twenty-three-year-old Vanessa Williams, has experienced nothing I have ever before dealt with. Being in the practice for over ten years, Vanessa's heartbreaking story wrenches at my heartstrings.

After being declared unwanted by her parents at the age of seven, her father tied her up in a burlap sack and threw it into a nearby creek, expecting her to drown. She didn't die, however, and went on to live, or rather survive, at numerous children's homes or with foster parents. She was declared unstable and insane, as well as being a victim of suicide. She was sent to a psych ward three years ago, before being transferred to Huntsville Psychiatric Hospital in Pennsylvania.

Poor girl. She had no more tears left to cry. She stands there with her face pointing towards the wall. She stares at the gray, crisp paint with no expression. She refuses to eat. I don't know what to do with her.

Though often being insensitive, she seems to have a dark side as well. I love the girl, but she doesn't seem to share the same emotion. In fact, the kinder I am to her, the more she stares at me with such hate in her eyes. I have never seen this before in one of my patients. It's rather frightening, and if she wasn't locked up, so to speak, I would quite fear for my life.

I am told she has never spoken a word in her life.

This brings me to my concluding worry. After Andrew and I divorced roughly two years ago, I was free to do whatever I wanted. I had full custody of my daughter, Rain, and she leans on me for everything. My greatest wish is to be good parent to the best of my ability.

About three months ago, I met a fascinating man. Joshua Reynolds. We struck up a relationship immediately and have been dating each other for a while now. I have my concerns that he's only after me for my money, however, ever since my father died and left me with a large inheritance. I hope that isn't the case. Joshua is so kind and sweet. I only hope he has no other intention, perhaps one of a brutal sort.

Perhaps I'm only paranoid because of my work and the stories I've heard from there. In any case, I want it written down on paper that I intend to give my daughter all of my inheritance. She will live with my mother, Miranda Lyss. If I should die unexpectantly, and anyone should accuse me of suicide, understand that I would never do something to hurt myself or the others around me. It was definitely a homicide.

I hope nothing ever happens to me. I always want to be there for my daughter. I've just been having some strange feelings and thought I would write it all down in this journal. It will probably be all for not, but I want to be careful. In my line of work, I've learned that it is necessary to be extra careful when dealing with the wellbeing of others. I only want safety for myself and others.

Ellyn Lyss