Where is my mind?

Walking, fastly maybe jogging. I don't know. I want away. I want free. I'm not sure where I'm going, or why, I can't stop. I won't stop. Tears threatening to roll, I peer around me, it's dark.

My head is swirling with thoughts. I begin to run. My feet slapping the ground the tears pushing the barrier. I quicken my pace paying no mind to where I'm going. I soon find myself at a park.

Looking around, I nod to myself. Starting towards the stairs to the small platform that would stretch in three directions. One to the monkey bars, another to the slide, and the last towards a rope ladder. I chose the slide. Finding writing on it, not bothering to read it. Not that it was very legible in the dark anyhow. The slide was a tunneled slide, the top was rounded with occasional ridges. I jumped and kicked my legs for momentum grabbing the top of the slide and urging myself on top of it.

On top of the slide I feel like I can breath, well easier at least. I was alone. It was peaceful I guess. I finally allowed the emotions to surface. Well more completely, the tears id previously been crying were dried and few. However now, NOW.. I was sobbing. Angrily, id always been told anger was a secondary emotion. I don't know what else id be feeling though.. I sighed running my hand over my face harshly and my fingers throughout my hair.

I don't know exactly what happened. It was several things I guess, adding up? Maybe? I mean I could chalk it up to hormones maybe. Maybe I was just emotional. I sighed once more letting my mind run it's destructive marathon. I find myself remembering. A flashback.

It was hot out. I sported camo cargo shorts and a black sleeveless shirt. It was big on me, reaching mid thigh and making my simple sports bra visible at a side angle. I hear a ding coming from my left back pocket, pulling out my phone my best friend shot me a text. She was here. I ran from where I was standing to find her car parking heavily crooked in a no park zone. I grinned. Looking at her. At her car. And shook my head "seriously ally?" I scolded her she shrugged making a hand motion to hurry into the car. She flicked on her radio, playing her music. It was... I guess I hated it then but now it was all I ever listened to. She screamed the lyrics to the song, however I plugged my ears and hummed ignoring her and laughing she pulled out of the parking lot. Driving to get ice cream, she ordered a rainbow birthday cake Sunday with sprinkles I just ordered a brownie fudge one. Pulling away from the ice cream joint she drove into traffic looking at me and stealing a bite of my ice cream I hit her hand away... Then looking past her and screaming as a car collided with us. Hitting her side. I remember screaming and awaking in a hospital bed.

Shaking my head I didn't wanna remember anymore. I slid down the top of the slide, jumping off last minute and walking home. Fishing my earbuds and phone out of my pocket and playing ally's playlist. playing only the one song. the last song... I realized. Maybe it wasn't just anger, it was anger at myself.

....I killed ally.