Chapter 1
This is not a story, as a young writer I don’t know where to find an audience for my short essays and I thought I might post them here. Disclaimer, a lot of what is said here is controversial and some audiences might be offended.
Sometimes the need to have meaning in an infinite universe is overpowering. Even though infinity is so big that everything starts to lack meaning. Or maybe it never had meaning. Since not only are possibilities infinite but time is as well, it started an infinite amount of time ago and it will continue indefinitely. People exist as a cosmic accident, life itself started by a fluke, but we evolved to get stronger and smarter faster than any other animal. So well that we started to realize that we might not have meaning, but we couldn’t live knowing that we might just exist without a purpose. So to fill that gap we made god. We created an artificial, an abstract creation to make us special. Something to distract ourselves from ourselves, something to verify that the inhumane things we were doing were guided and righteous.
As time moved on, wars were fought and billions of human lives were lost, we continued to get closer together yet farther away as we created technologies. People’s ideals were shared across the world and we learned that it was okay to be different, to be yourself, and to not believe everything that was told to you. The leaders of god fight to this day against this movement, whether it be because they were losing their authority or because they believed in their religion. So much was gained during the age of information and yet so much was lost, people were scared as they learned more and more about our inhuman ability to lie to other people’s faces without any sympathy.
Now, more than ever we struggle to find meaning because of our lack of faith, faith in ourselves, faith in the universe, faith in a god. So we fight each other, we do drugs and psychedelics, we yell at the top of our lungs why are we here? Why do we care? Why should we care about the only real threat to our planet? Why should we try to fix what has been broken? Why should we try to find other signs of life when we’ll most likely obliterate and enslave them like Columbus? We simply can’t be happy with our current way of life when we think it might be better in the near future. We strive for progress when we haven’t even seen the flaw in our logic. I’m writing this as a human, one who’s made many mistakes, one who’s seen people do terrible things, and yet I still see a promise of hope. We might be able to find our meaning, we might just snuff out like a dying fire.
We see time and time again that the chaos of nature is organized in its own way. So maybe this was how things always happened, maybe we aren’t alone. But infinite is, well, infinite there’s a small 100% chance that we never existed, that earth never existed. We’ll never know.
Despite the fact that in the human brain there are parts that store information and process information we haven’t found the consciousness part of the brain. We don’t know where it comes from. We can only assume that from this that something else, something invisible exists. Thus the concept of a soul was made, an explanation for an unanswerable question. Although there is a trend, people who make rushed assumptions usually get it incorrect. One day it might be possible to figure out why we can think so deeply about theoretical concepts but I believe that we are far from that point. A concept that arises from consciousness is are we good or bad. This is the wrong question to ask. The question should be is there such a thing as good or bad? Over time we have realized that nothing is ever black or white. So why would we define anything as one of those colors? The way I think about things is colored, but never 100% red or 100% green, it always has alternative reasons so it will never be a 100%. In history there are several things that we see as horrendous, things that are bad to the depths of their conception. But there are always multiple sides to these acts. They are negative because we perceive them as negative. The people who did the acts did them out of personal gain most likely. However, if we are all being honest we all do things for personal gain. That is how we evolved, constantly having to battle to be the best, to live the longest, to reproduce the most. These acts are just an extreme form of it. We are not to decide if things are good or bad, there was never a good or bad in the first place. Just like so many things we made a fiction worth more than reality. We all know people who would kill for more money. We watch shows about becoming millionaires and getting a leg up on everyone else. But money is fabricated, a way to add value to people and segregate based on said value.
[7:55 PM]
This system also plates into keeping certain people somehow above the rest for no reason except their fictional value.
