Tainted Hearts

I looked around the house as I entered through the doors. I was greeted by silence instead of Ashley’s sweet voice today.

The house felt emptier every time she left for her work and went to London.

No matter how many times this happened, I couldn’t get used to the feeling her temporary absence brought.

It didn’t feel like a home without Ashley, even if she was out of here for merely a minute. I could not come to terms with the restlessness stirring in my heart when she was not before my eyes.

Even after all these years.

I dropped my suit jacket on the sofa in the living room and went to my study while loosening my tie and unbuttoning my cuffs and the top three buttons of my shirt.

I won’t be sleeping in the room tonight.

I had just entered when my phone started ringing. A small smile graced my lips when I saw her number flashing on the screen. I slid the call to answer and went toward the window that opened into the back garden.

“Princess!” I greeted her teasingly. I could see that beautiful blush spreading to her cheeks.

“You gave Edith off again” Ashley greeted with her scolding. “Right after I left.”

“I hired her for you because I didn’t want you to tire yourself with tedious house chores” I justified. I could see her shaking her head. “I will be fine” I assured her but I knew she wouldn’t rest at ease.

“Are you home?” She asked

“I came a minute ago,” I told her. “How was your day?”

“I’m almost done with the last-minute check.” She sighed tiredly. “I was expecting everything to be wrapped up by today but there were still some things left.”

“Don’t tire yourself more than necessary,” I said strictly. I knew how much overboard she went when it came to her work. “Everything will go smoothly.”

“I know,” She sighed again. “I want to get done with everything and come back home. I miss you.”

It put a smile on my face, her words.

“You won’t need to miss me occasionally once your head office is moved here,” I said softly. “But good riddance.” I chuckled when she giggled. “I miss you too, princess. More than I can put in words.”

Fuck, I wanted to kiss her senseless right now.

“Are you sure?” She teased. “Don’t you want to celebrate your free time? It’s been three years. Don’t you want me to leave you alone like other husbands so you can get a breather from my nagging?”

I scoffed at this.

“If I could,” I whispered seductively. “I would never let you leave my sight for a second,” I smirked at the sudden rise in my heartbeat. “Three years! We can spend decades together and that won’t be enough for me to show you every last bit of how I feel for you.”

“Nathan!” She whispered heavily, the desire coating her voice.

“Princess!” I rasped.

“You are making it so darn difficult for me.” I laughed when she moaned in protest. “Stop or I will be coming back tonight.”

“Few more hours,” I could hear the yearning in my voice.

“Few more hours,” Ashley whispered. “Sleep in the bedroom, okay? And please, eat something too. Don’t go to bed on an empty stomach.”

“Alright,” I replied and went back to my work desk. “You too.”

I sat down in my chair and opened the last drawer with the key.

“Don’t go anywhere without Jason. Let me know if you need any help and when you leave for Leicester tomorrow.”

“I will.” I hummed in response to her answer. I leaned back in the chair when a comfortable silence fell between us. “I don’t want to end this call.”

“You have to or else, you will wake up with a headache in the morning.”

“I won’t be getting much sleep without you,” Ashley murmured. “God knows how much I hate these days when I have to come to London.”

“You won’t need to anymore,” I said breathily and closed my eyes. “This is the last time.”

“Yes,” She replied and we fell silent again. “Nathan?” I hummed in response again. “Please, don’t sleep in the study, okay?”

“I won’t,” I chuckled at her worry. “Get some rest now. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I love you.” I felt it in my heart, the emotions she felt while saying these words. “I will always love you, Nathan.”

“I will always love you, Ashley,” I whispered back while staring at her picture on my desk. “Now and in every life I will be born in.”

“Good night.”

“Good night, princess.” I stared at my phone when the call ended before looking at her picture on my desk.

Ashley was my world, my everything and I would go to any extent, and break every fucking rule and limit to keep her safe and happy.

But the events of our past still haunted me every now and then.

Three years and still, I could not forget that. The memories became more vivid, feeding my fears that never existed before knowing them. The truth.

The fear of losing her grew with my love for her.

Those moments were stuck in my head. Those moments when I almost lost her.

The moment when I lost her.

My past.

I looked toward the window when the thunder rumbled in the sky after a flash of lightning.

“I hope it is not the same in London,” I frowned at the drastic change in the weather.

There were higher chances of me leaving for London right away because I knew Ashley still couldn’t cope with this kind of weather.

I checked the forecast on my phone and set the alert before putting it down on the desk. My eyes focused on the binder and the picture lying in the drawer I opened.

“What a bunch of lies!” I scoffed at the binder. “They couldn’t even get the timeline right.”

They didn’t even know when all this started and dared to spread those vile rumours about me.

I spread oppression and tyranny when I came to the upper world and killed many but the way they wrote it and carried it down the history was all twisted over time.

But I didn’t care.

I wanted it to stay that way because I didn’t want the truth of that time to come before anyone else.

Especially Ashley.

I bent my words when I told her about Abbgarredon, tainting the truth with deceptive lies.

It was for her own good because the less she knew about my past self, the better.

Not even my family and the rest of the bloodline knew the entire truth because the original history was lost in time. And I was going to make sure it stayed that way.

I picked the picture from the drawer and stared at it blankly.

I wanted to get rid of it but I couldn’t. Not after remembering everything and seeing what I only knew in my head.

It reminded me of the bitterness and agony but it also held her in that endless sea of darkness and resentment.

My only hope, my only salvation, my only love.

My Ashley!

“Evelyn,” I whispered and put the picture next to Ashley’s.

It was a picture of our past selves.

The resemblance was unbelievable, of me and her to those from that lost time.

From the smallest crease of her brows to her warm eyes and smile, everything was the same.

Her nature and personality resembled her past self in many ways.

Especially her stubbornness and selflessness.

I still couldn’t come to terms with it no matter how many times I saw it and recalled it.

I leaned back in the chair and sighed loudly after closing my eyes.

Every time Ashley was not near me, the past came back like a curse. I relived every second of it, from the moment it first started to how it ended by my hands.

It was merely a ghost of those times but the pain and torment it brought was no joke.

I had to block Ashley when she was away from me because I didn’t want to let her know or suffer what I believe was an eternal punishment.

“Evelyn,” I whispered her name when the memories started flashing before my closed eyes once again. “Eve!”

“Tristan!”

“Come and find me.”

“I’m here, Tristan. I will always be here for you.”

“I’m sorry. It is not your fault so don’t blame yourself for everything that happened.”

“I love you, Tristan, for everything that you are. And I promise you I will always be yours, in every life that I will be born in.”

“Tristan?”