Naughty Neigbours

-- Prologue --

Blossom Mill Lane is your typical small english country village, where the houses are placed neatly down either side of the street till you hit the cul de sac end. Families and the older generation are the general population of the area. With the local country pub The Rowdy Cockerel the main entertainment and only a ten minute walk along the road, it was a popular place for a night out.

Annie Gifford is a young 64 year old woman living at number 25 Blossom Mill lane, a dark blue front door stands out from the white painted background of the house. Her flower border which leads up to her door is her pride and joy. She found enjoyment in her garden after her husband passed away a few years ago, spending most of her time in the garden and eyeing up what was going on next door.

Robert or Bob for short Anderson, lived next door to Annie. Losing his wife early on in their marriage he was a man never to be down and brought sunshine on everyone despite his moody demeanor. With one son and his two grandchildren, kept him young and spirited. Being only a year older than Annie, he would make the regular trip down to the pub for his pint, or spend his time rattling about in his garden shed.

-- Annie --

The heat in the sunny afternoon brought a halt to me tending to the garden. So I decided to enjoy sipping a well deserved raspberry gin and tonic; when I heard ‘him’ next door swearing from his shed. I rolled my eyes wondering what it was this time. Placing my glass down on the table I stood up and went over to the fence for the afternoon’s entertainment. Bob appeared out from his shed dragging something out. Knowing Bob would be there for a while I grabbed my glass off the table and stood sipping it whilst Bob carried on.

Bob and I had a neighbourly friendship and we loved taking the piss out of each other, I’m sure I was the highlight of his day. The old codger had dug out the pool which I remember his son got for the grandchildren when they came over. I lean on the fence and watch him, for an old timer he wasn’t too bad looking.

“You checking me out again Annie?” He eyed me up and his laugh was infectious.

“Ahh, you wish you old bastard.” I chuckle as I sip on my drink to hide the blush he had created.

“Too damn hot, so I remembered this beast.” He puffed out as he opened up the paddling pool he had got for his grandkids.

“Would you like a drink?” I swill the rest of mine around, before I down it. What the hell, I’m old and can do what I like.

He stops what he is doing and comes over to the fence. “What are you going to give me this time?” He looked at my glass.

“Oh I’ve got beers in the fridge for you, you’re not touching my good stuff.”

“Annie, you keep breaking my heart, you know how much I want to touch you, but a beer would be very much appreciated my sugar plum.” He threw a wink at me.

“I’ll have to charge you for that beer now.” I walk off chuckling to myself.

Knowing the first one would hardly touch the sides, I brought two out for him and poured myself another gin and tonic. He was patting down his forehead with his top which he had now removed. Shit he looks better than I remember. Maybe I need another drink to get me through this.

“You know we should just make a gate in between our fences, it will be a lot easier than having to stand and talk over the fence, I could sit down and enjoy this drink next to you, sugarplum.” He downed the first drink and let out a big sigh of satisfaction.

“There is no way I’m having you wandering about my garden unmanned, you would probably fall over drunk in my prized flowerbeds or something.” I have to hide my smirk as his cheeks flushed pink. I had seen him one evening when I was watering my garden after the sun had gone down. He was pissed out of his head, not long after coming back from the pub was my guess. He stumbled in his garden and landed face first in his bushes along the side. To this day I still don’t know why he would come out into his garden after drinking.

“Aww, sugarplum, you’re just wondering if I might sneak up on you and grab that chunky ass of yours.” His eyes sparkled with mischief.

“I wouldn’t let you near my ass with your dirty hands.” I chuckle and sip my drink.

He takes a glug from his bottle whilst he grins from ear to ear. “Do you fancy a dip in the pool with me?” He raises an eyebrow.

“With you? No, I don’t trust you.” I finish the drink left in my glass and suddenly wonder how it disappeared so fast.

“I’m just going to get my hose out and fill it up.” He blows me a kiss then heads off to roll out his hose pipe and fill the pool.

I watch the cheeky bugger as he flaunts his body about. I have to chuckle as I wonder how burnt the bastard is going to get from the sun as I never saw him put sunscreen on. After refilling my glass I change into something more revealing and put sunscreen on before going back out.

His pool is half full and looking very inviting. I wonder where he has disappeared off to. I didn’t have to wait long as he appeared in a pair of bright blue swimming shorts, strutting his stuff. The picture of a comical chicken’s head strategically placed, with the words ‘stop staring at my cock’ written next to it. I had to cover my mouth to hide the laugh at his shorts. His eyes met mine and his mouth broke out into a grin.

“So sugarplum, are you tempted to join me now?” He came over and leant on the fence and glanced over what I was wearing. “You can just take off your shorts, I want to see what granny pants you have on. Are you wearing cotton ones?” His cheeky grin widened.

“For a start, you should have a wrinkled up prune on the front of your shorts instead of a cock, and I wouldn’t strip off and show you what kind of underwear I have on, in a million years.” I rolled my eyes at him.

-- Bob --

I knew when I walked over to tease her some more she would find the swim shorts amusing. She has quick witted answers to everything and that’s what I love about her. We may be old and at the stage in life where romance between an older couple may make others gag. Truth be told, this woman has my heart already.

Many years ago after my wife died, I was heartbroken, Annie and her then husband helped me through the hard times. After Annie’s husband died a few years ago I returned the favour. We found that by amusing each other with our little chats, they soon became the normal between us and formed the relationship we have now.

I never thought I would find love again but I wouldn’t mind putting my old love stick into her, just to find out if I’ve still got it. I used to love sex when I was younger and I can still pump one out in my hand whilst I fantasise about Annie next door.

She rolls her eyes at me, I’m sure I caught a glimpse of a smirk at the corner of her lips. I love it when I can get her worked up. I stand back and smooth down the front of my shorts.

“Do you want to check out my package? Then you can tell me if it is a prune or a huge snake tucked away, just waiting to be woken up by your hand.” I grab my junk in my hand and shuffle it about.

“Don’t you dare start getting it out, I wouldn’t want you to embarrass yourself around here.” She watches me carefully, probably wondering if I will or not.

“Too late for that then love isn’t it?” Yes I vaguely remember being drunk and falling over in my garden somewhere. I chuckle and head back to the pool which is pretty full now. I turn off the hose and dip my toes in first. The cold water is refreshing but I didn’t realise how cold it was, until I sat down in it. “Bloody hell!”

“If you weren’t the size of a prune before, you will be now.” Annie chuckled from the other side of the fence before she disappeared into her house. She appeared minutes later with a refill and another bottle for me. I couldn’t help but grin at her.

I spent the next half an hour relaxing in the pool but it was too cold so I got out and stretched out on my sun lounger to dry off.

“Bob… Bob.” Annie was calling me.

I opened my eyes and realised that I had fallen asleep. Shit how long have I been out? I shield my face with my hand as I sit up. What an idiot I am. I know I’m about to get the wrath of Annie.

“Bob, you fell asleep and… you are now a lobster.” She held back from laughing. “Did you even put sunscreen on?” She rests her arms on the fence.

My skin is hot, so I hop back into the pool to cool off. Thank goodness for the cold water. I don’t think I’m that bad at least. I look over at her amused face as she watches me. “Are you enjoying the show?” I wink at her knowing she will roll her eyes at me.

“Don’t come crawling to me later on.” She waves a hand whilst walking off. She stops at her back door before turning back to me. “I’m popping out to the shop, do you want me to get you anything?”

“I’m alright love, maybe later I’ll ask you to do something for me.” I watch her walk off shaking her head.

As soon as she is gone, I jump out of the pool and head inside. I check the window and see her walking up the road. Looking at myself in the mirror. “Shit she was right.” I turn to see my back is burnt as well. What an idiot I am.

Deciding to have a quick shower I moisturise my skin the best I can. I’m sure I can talk Annie into putting some on my back. I see her arrive back with a bag of things and I wonder what she has been buying. I give her enough time before I go and knock on her door.

“And what can I do for you Bob?” She opens the door wider and steps back inviting me in.

“Well… I may need your hands on my body afterall sugarplum.” I hold up the moisturising cream.

“You did this on purpose didn’t you?” She tuts at me.

“Oh you know how much I want your hands roaming over my body.” I wink at her along with the grin I can’t get off my face.

Her eye roll and shake of her head makes me chuckle. We enter her kitchen and she opens up her fridge and brings out a chilled bottle of aftersun. I catch her gaze and she is fucking smirking.

“Strip loverboy.” She places one hand on her hip and motions me to remove my clothing with the other.

I unbutton my shirt slowly, trying my attempts at being sexy, wiggling my eyebrows at her.

“Get a move on, I’ve not got all day.” She attempts to hide her smile.

Without a warning she started applying it on my back. The freezing cold spray against my burning skin makes me jump. “Jesus Christ!” I grip onto the worktop.

“Oh, don’t be a pussy.” She is enjoying this I can tell.

I let her finish my back and turn around to face her. “My front especially needs some extra attention.” I suck in a sharp breath as she sprays me. “A bit lower, sugarplum.”

“You wish!” She starts laughing loudly. “That’s you all done, I suggest you keep covered up for a few days.” She patted my cheek and replaced the bottle back in the fridge.

“I don’t know why you keep refusing my advances to woo you Annie.” I slip my shirt back on but don’t button it up.

“You call asking me to feel you up… wooing you?” She cocks her head before shaking it. “You know your way out Robert.”

I give her ass a cheeky slap before I make my way out as fast as I can.

-- Annie --

The cheeky bastard. I chased him out of the house for slapping my ass. He stayed out of the sun for the next few days as his son Daniel came to visit with the grandkids. Daniel’s wife worked as a nurse and couldn’t always get the same time off. I loved watching them play. Bob had set up a canopy over the pool so the kids could play safely, he messed about with the grandkids having water gun fights and chasing them around the garden. They only stayed a couple of nights before heading back home.

Friday evening came round and I had been tending my flowers when Bob’s voice came from over the fence.

“I’m off to the pub, would you like to come.” he was smartly dressed in a pair of cream trousers and a black shirt, his hair slicked back.

I thought I would tease him. “So are you asking me out on a date?” I bite my bottom lip as I admire the specimen in front of me. He was a man who ignited the old burner between the legs.

He made his way over to the fence. “Will I get to base two if I am?” He holds back a chuckle.

“In your dreams Mr sex machine.” I ruffle his hair and walk off.

I hear him grunt as he walks away trying to sort out his hair. I sit and watch one of my favourite series Downton Abbey with a warm cup of tea. I must have drifted off in my chair when I heard a noise from next door. I switched off the TV and peered out of the window and spotted Bob.

He was banging on his own door for like five minutes. I chuckle to myself and wonder if I should go out there or not. After another minute of him knocking on his own door I went out to see if it was because he couldn’t find his key. I have a key to his house, as many times before he has been forgetful. In the past his son had received a phone call one time from someone to say Bob couldn’t find his key, so he insisted I have a spare one. I go out to see what he is up to.

He was extremely drunk, his body was swaying as he stood there, his knuckles resting on the front door.

“Are you looking for something?” I hold my hand over my mouth to stop me from laughing.

“Mmm, I’m waiting to be let in.” He slurs the words out.

“Oh the person who owns the house isn’t in.” I wonder how far I can push it.

He waves his hand and starts to leave, I pinch my nose to stop the laughter as he wanders back up the road. I can’t do this to him.”Bob, I have a key.” I announced and it must have registered as he turned back to the position he was in when I arrived. His body defies gravity and he ends up sitting down on the front step.

Opening his front door I order him in, there is no way I’m going to pick him up. Grunting he made his way in and I led him up the stairs to his bedroom. Finally getting him to lay on his bed, he had a great time trying to feel me up, I eventually got him in bed, curled up and passed out, so I left him and locked up before I retreated to my own home.

I had been up and busy for half the morning cleaning, when a knock at my door sounded. I knew it would be Bob. I smile to myself wondering if he will remember anything from last night. He looked a little bit ill but he held his devilish smile.

“Good morning my sweet sugarplum.” He leant in the doorway.

“What has got your drunken ass out of bed at this time then?” My hair was loose and I fluffed it up with my fingers.

“Oh, I think you know my reason, Annie.” He licked his lips.

“Maybe you need to show me?” I ran my finger down his chest teasing him.

We had been playing this game between us for so long, I knew he fancied me and I thought he was hot. Was it right for two old timers to get together? Hell, who knows! He pulled me closer to him and I held my breath. He leaned in closer and his lips finally touched mine. It was a sweet kiss, no tongues, just one on the lips.

“Wow, that was better than I expected.” He muttered against my lips.

I know it wasn’t a full on kiss, but I think my flood gates have just reopened. “Robert, You better make sure you are sure you know what you are doing.” I didn’t want one kiss to turn into a quickie and nothing more.

“Take your teeth out already and suck me off.” He held his lips together holding back his laughter.

“Let’s get this straight, One, I still have my own teeth, and two…” I couldn’t think of anything else.

“Well just don’t bite me then.” He moved my hand over his growing erection. I was surprised he reacted so quickly. “I don’t need viagra if that’s what you are thinking. You get my blood pumping naturally woman.”

Shit was this really happening? Could two old timers make love after so many years of not doing anything? Would he be all wrinkly? Would I need extra lubricant to help out? Would I remember how to do everything?

Two old neighbours who have grown to love each other over time. The story is short and sweet with a few laughs. Should they continue? Of course they should, love hits different people at different ages, and how about second chances? But I’m sure you wouldn’t want to hear about their love making, how bones creaked, or how a knee nearly gave way or that he nearly had a heart attack the first time he came. Lol. Or maybe you would?