My Boyfriends Ex

Love has always been confusing to me. I have so many questions and when they're answered, I'm just left with more. When I was young, about 12 years, I'd sit in my dark room while my parents argued; sometimes I listened to music, sometimes I didn't. I was so scared that by the end of the night, their love would be no more, and I'd have to choose between the two of them in court.

Now an adult, I'm more familiar with heartbreak, just not my own. I've been a witness in so many relationships and also a helping hand. My last thought after seeing the truths in relationships is they should just break up. In most cases one is just not healthy for the other, that, or they're both toxic. At the age of 25 I'm working with my aunt in marriage counseling. She allows me to study her and the patients; it's the best part of my day. The tears, the million-year-old secrets, the loss of trust, and sometimes understanding. After leaving these sessions I feel more comfortable coming home to my boyfriend and thinking, "This isn't so bad."

My boyfriend and I had the same classes in high school, but we didn't start talking until after graduation. There was a huge party thrown for the new adults. There was loud music, party games, naked strangers, with a side of drugs and alcohol. After I had my fair share of the party that night, I was about to head out to wait for my uber, but instead I bumped into him. We started conversation and soon enough we were in a random room making love, mixing our saliva and sweat, leaving the room humid and hot. We carried on this steamy romance outside of that night and into our day to day lives. It's been seven years since; I won't lie and say everything has been a sweet dream. We've had breaks, one even lasting over a year. The last break being only four months ago, we continue to resume as if nothing had happened. We never even ask one another what took place during our times apart.

"Babe, did you hear about that new movie coming out? The Gradians, or some shit."

"I think I've seen the trailer a few times, why?"

"I think we should go see it; it comes out one of the few times I'm off this month." He sits next to me, leaning over taking a glance at my open book.

"How many times have you read that?"

"It's a good book."

He scuffs before walking out into the hallway, I'm guessing to use the restroom. He leaves his phone right side up at the end of the bed. I hadn't noticed it until it lit up revealing a lock screen of me holding our new puppy, Teddy, and a new message. Do I really want to be one of those girlfriends? I chose to ignore it. He re-enters the room yawning with his left hand covering his mouth.

"Man, I'm exhausted." He scoops his phone off of the bed, stared for a few seconds, then swiped left on the screen. He then relocates his phone to the dresser on his side of the bed, faced down this time. He made himself comfortable beside me, drifting off almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. I continued to read my book until the end of the chapter.

The next morning, he had already gone. The room was quiet enough to hear the cool air entering through the vents. My first thought was to look over to where he last placed his phone but of course, it was no longer there. I should have just looked. Small and happy footsteps skip into my room ready for breakfast and a nice walk. Teddy moves his tail quickly making the rest of his body wiggle. I pick him up to begin the task of serving breakfast. I always pick out two different cans from the small cabinet above our rusty toaster, then allow Teddy to use his wet nose decide on switch one he'd like to eat. While he finishes his chosen can, I make something for myself, usually oatmeal, like today. I then pack a bag for teddy and one for myself. Teddy's bag consists of snacks and some of his favorite toys, while mine holds notebooks and my next lunch.

Once we're both done Teddy gets his leash and we meet at the front door; ready to leave our small apartment. We walk around just to waste time then I drop him off at doggy daycare. I end the journey with a 15-minute bus ride to my aunts counseling office. I've been here so many times that Janice, the women that sits at the front desk, doesn't even welcome me anymore, and instead shoots up a quick glance and sometimes a smile.

Once I enter the dimly lit office my aunt is already there looking over papers with her light blue glasses sitting at the tip of her nose. The door shuts loudly behind me snapping her out of whatever zone she was it.

"Amilia! My beautiful girl! How are you?"

An automatic smile grows over my face.

"I'm fine."

"I see, and how is Aiden, oh, and the puppy?"

"Ha, nice try, but this isn't my session...Don't worry we're fine." I say confidently. She looks over her glasses, and into my eyes, giving me the sarcastic; yeah, okay, look.

I ask who's showing up today, changing the subject. "They're new clients, married for about 7 months. I guess there are already too many troubles." She organizes the table that sits in between the two white sofas. "They should be here any moment now." She adds whilst jogging over to her desk to grab her notepad. I take my seat on the far-right side of the sofa as I always did.

"Amilia dear, because they're new clients you can't sit with us, with two people they may feel intimidated. come, sit at my desk, out of their sight." She waves me over.

I'm a little sad that I won't be seeing it all go down from the front row, but I guess it's better than not seeing it at all. As soon as I take my seat, we hear two knocks on the door. My Aunt answers it and immediately they're shaking hands and introducing themselves professionally. The woman's name is Sofia, she's petite with short light brown hair, dark blue eyes, she wore a dress filled with flowers. The man, John, wasn't must taller. His hair was messy and a dirty blonde, his eyes are green, and he's wearing a simple white t-shirt with light blue jeans. Sofia kept confident but you could tell that John was a little uncomfortable.

My aunt shows the new guest where to make comfort and once they do the session starts.

"So, tell me, how did you meet one another?"

"Well, it's very simple, we just worked at the same shop. We were both told to restock the shelves in the bread isle, just the two of us. That was our first time actually speaking to one another." Sofia started. John sat at the very end of the sofa with his elbow on the arm rest holding up his head. Sofia sat directly in the middle. My Aunt noticed but she hadn't said anything.

"I'm guessing it was a great conversation then, wasn't it?"

Sofia nods and smiles; "It's one of my happiest memories." She laughs to herself before glancing over at john, who paid no mind. Her smile was wiped from her face in an instant.

"John, sweetheart, look at Sofia." He does so.

"What do you see?" He looks at her in silence for a minute or two.

"Nothing." He says with a shaking but low tone.

"Nothing? Why nothing?" My Aunt leans in, Sofia becomes more distant.

"She destroyed everything, my friendships, our relationship, and the man I'll be for the rest of my life."

"I said I'm sorry." Sofia says under her breath.

"Sorry..sorry? Sofia, you know damn well that if I forgive you, it won't fix anything but your fucking ego." John stands to his feet, moving further away from Sofia; looking at her in disbelief. He looks at her as if they're strangers. What could she possibly have done?

They sat in silence for 10 minutes. And my aunt just allowed them to. Sofia ends up walking out after her failed mission of holding back many tears. John stayed looking at the clean and plain nude colored carpet for another 30 minutes; And I sat and watched every second.

I can't wait to see my boyfriend again.