~1~
I sat there in silence at the top of the stairs, huddling in the dark as I listened to my parents decide my fate.
“Honey, he is good at it and it’s something he enjoys. You should just let him join! They don’t offer a lot of positions.” my mom said, making me swallow. I began worrying my hands, feeling my heart pound.
“I don’t need my son prancing around in front of a bunch of other people making a spectacle of himself. Besides, I don’t need him becoming one of them.” my father’s gruff voice replied, making me sigh, a heavy feeling settling in my chest. Little did he know I was already one of “them”.
“Honey please. He’s so excited about this opportunity. Besides, it is pretty athletic from what I have seen him practice when he thinks I am not around.” she replied as I bit my lip. There were several beats of silence and I swear they could hear my heartbeat from all the way up here.
“Fine. But he puts on one pair of tights for this damn class, it’s over.” he replied as I silently pumped my fist and quickly shuffled back up the stairs. I was not only excited to be able to take dance in school, but even more so, I would be able to see my sunbae Jimin up close. I saw him in a recital the year before, and he was incredible. I was head over heels for him ever since that day and I swore that the next year I would put my fears behind me and finally try out.
I barely slept that night and the next day at school, classes seemed to crawl by. It seemed like every time I dared to look at the clock, only minutes had passed. It was pure torture.
Dance finally came around and I rushed in, in just enough time to warm up quickly before rehearsals started. Jimin happened to make eye contact with me as I came in and smiled at from across the room, making my stomach flutter as I tried to smile back in the least creepy way possible. Oh my God, he actually noticed me. I tried really hard not to let my nerves show, but I couldn’t help it.
“Alright everyone, today we are going to begin with a simple routine that everyone needs to get down as it has most of the basic moves we will be using within choreographies in the coming months.” Our team captain said as I swallowed and wiped my sweaty palms on my pants. As exhausting as class was, it went by in the blink of an eye, and I never quite felt like I had enough time to get the moves down exactly how I wanted to.
“Jeon, I know this is your first day, but you have to be able to pick it up a little faster. Let’s hope this isn’t your best work.” the captain said as I felt my stomach churn.
“I’m sorry sunbae, I will try harder.” I said softly as the class started to dissipate. Great, getting called out in front of everyone, especially Jimin. I continued to rehearse moves as everyone began to file out, staring myself down in the mirror with disgust. You blew your chance Jeon, already. I continued for about thirty minutes until my muscles started to protest from the repeated movements, sweat dripping down my forehead. I sighed and stopped dancing, walking over to my bag and grabbing my towel out of it to wipe my face down.
“You’re good you know.” I heard a voice say from the back of the room, causing me to quickly spin around. When I saw who was standing there, my mouth went dry, making me swallow.
“Oh, n-not really. I am so new at this, I’m no good.” I said as Jimin smiled and began walking up to me.
“Hey, we were all new at one point, don’t beat yourself up. You have a lot of passion for this, I can see it in your movements. Learning choreo can be difficult sometimes, even for the most talented of dancers. Our captain is an amazing dancer, but he isn’t a very good teacher. He kind of goes as his own pace and expects everyone to just keep up.” he replied as he came right over to me.
“Thank you for saying that.” I said, feeling nauseous at the thought that he had been watching me.
“I tell you what, why don’t we stay after practice together and I can help you go over the routines and moves until you feel comfortable and get them down?” he suggested as I felt my mouth go dry again.
“Oh, you don’t have to do that, that would be too much.” I said, swallowing my water.
“Nonsense! We only have class three days a week, and I can even give you a ride home, if you would like.” he said, making my heart flutter again.
“I feel like it would be a waste of your time.” I said, feeling guilty for taking up so much of his time already.
“Jungkook... I see passion and talent in you. I would love to be able to help you cultivate it. Besides, you seem like a nice guy, and those are few and far between nowadays. Do you not want to be around me? Do I make you...uncomfortable?” he asked as my eyes widened.
“No no, not at all! I really appreciate all this, I am just...socially awkward.” I replied as I laughed.
“That makes two of us. I don’t really have many friends anymore, so I don’t get that much practice socially either.” he smiled softly as I looked up at him, seeing a slight bit of what seemed like vulnerability.
“Then, if you really want me to, I would be happy to.” I smiled softly as his face seemed to brighten.
“Hey, you want to come over for dinner tonight? So you can see I am not a total and complete weirdo?” he suggested with a giggle as I couldn’t help but chuckle.
“That would be nice, let me just make sure it’s okay with my parents.” I said as he nodded.
“Yeah, let me call mine and give them some heads up. They won’t care, but I should anyway.” he replied. We both grabbed our bags, fishing our phones out to call our parents.
“Hey Mom, one of the guys from practice invited me over for dinner and said he would give me a ride home after. Is that alright?” I asked.
“Oh Kookie, that is wonderful! Yes, have a wonderful time, just don’t be home too late!” she replied, sounding very enthusiastic.
“Okay, thank you.” I replied before hanging up the phone. I turned to see Jimin zipping up his bag and slinging it over his shoulder.
“All good?” He asked, beaming brightly.
“Yep, got the all clear.” I replied, closing up my own bag.
“Great! Come on, it’s only a short ride to my place.” he said as we began walking out of the building.
“It’s pretty cool that you have your own car.” I replied as we walked to the parking lot and he led me to an older model car.
“This old thing? Eh, it gets me from A to B. It was my parents’ old car and I worked through the summer last summer to buy it off of them.” he responded as he unlocked the car, and we climbed in.
“Thank you for everything, sunbae.” I said as I buckled and he started the car, looking over at me smiling again.
“You can call me Jimin, or hell you can call me hyung if you’d like to.” he replied as I felt warmth in my chest.
“Ok hyung. Thank you.” I responded as he giggled and pulled out of the parking lot.
“You are very welcome. Just forewarning you, I don’t really have people over so my mom might be really excited to meet you.” he said as I smiled. We didn’t talk very much on the way to his house but thankfully, it was pretty close. I felt so awkward, I didn’t know what to say. I was afraid of saying something that would make him think I was weird, or I would reveal how nuts I was about him, so I tried to let him lead the conversation. When we pulled up to his house, I was surprised at how close to my own it was.
“Be prepared.” he replied, wiggling his eyebrows as I chuckled, getting out of the car.
“Mom, I’m home!” Jimin called as we walked inside the house, and he shut the door.
“Timing is impeccable, dinner is just ready!” his mom called from somewhere deeper inside the house. I followed Jimin and as we rounded the corner, I saw the person who had to be his mother. She looked so much like him!
“This must be...Jungkook?” she asked, walking over to me with a big smile.
“Yes ma’am, it’s nice to meet you.” I replied as Jimin sat down at the table.
“Oh, so polite! I like this one, Jimin.” she said as I couldn’t help but feel my face get hot. Dinner was met with polite conversation, his mother spearheading most of it. They had mentioned a dad, but I didn’t see him around, making me wonder if he had passed or was just not home, but I was afraid to ask.
“Mom, we are going to hang out upstairs for a little bit before I have to take Jungkook back home.” Jimin said as he stood from the table, taking his dishes to the sink. I followed suit, making his mom smile.
“Okay, you boys enjoy yourselves, and Jungkook it was a real pleasure to meet you. Don’t be a stranger around here.” she said as I thanked her and followed Jimin out of the room and up a set of stairs. He led me to his room and I couldn’t help but let my mind wander. His room was simply decorated but looked inviting. I walked around slowly, looking around as he plopped on the edge of his bed, smiling softly at me.
“Thank you for coming over today, Jungkook. I really have enjoyed it.” he said as I sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, worrying my hands slightly. I was trying desperately not to think about the fact that I was sitting on Jimin’s bed.
“Thanks for inviting me, hyung. I don’t go out much.” I said, staring down at my hands.
“Don’t be so nervous, I’m not going to bite you.” he replied as I felt myself swallow. That wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. No, Jungkook stop it.
“Sorry, I just...I have admired you for so long that it’s kind of surreal that I’m sitting here with you.” I said, looking up and around at his room. I happened to catch something brightly colored out of the corner of my eye and looked at what it was. My eyes zeroed in on a pride sticker on the corner of the mirror over his desk and I felt my mouth go dry, my eyes widening slightly. He was gay?
“Oh that? Yeah, I probably should have thought about that before I had you in my room. I...I hope it doesn’t make you uncomfortable, but...yeah.” he said, rubbing the back of his head.
“What do you mean?” I asked, feeling my palms go sweaty.
“I am not really out to the public, but my parents know I’m gay, and I guess.... you do too now. It’s why I keep myself away from most people, it isn’t usually looked upon in a positive light. I would understand if you wouldn’t want to hang out anymore, I just ask that you please keep that part of me to yourself.” he said, his brow furrowed as he seemed to avoid eye contact. Jimin was gay, just like me? My head was spinning with information, and I cleared my throat and shifted in my seat.
“It doesn’t bother me at all, hyung. Not in the slightest. And don’t worry, it’s safe with me. I will never tell a soul. I would be happy if you would still let me hang out and train with you.” I said, trying to offer him a comforting smile. I wanted to tell him I understood exactly how he felt, that I was too, but the words caught in my throat. I couldn’t do it.
“Thank you Jungkook. That makes me really happy to hear.” he said, clearing his throat and giving me a really soft smile.
“Of course. I’m glad we are getting to hang out.” I replied, as his smile brightened.
“Me too. Hey, you want to play some video games or something? I don’t know how long you can stay.” he suggested.
“Sure! I can stay for a little longer, just can’t be home too late since it’s a school night.” I said as he grinned and got off of the bed, getting two video game controllers. We played some Mario Party and a racing game that I sucked at but eventually wound up beating him a few times for a couple of hours, and before I knew it, time had flown by.
“Oh shit, I guess I need to head home.” I said, as he put down his controller and looked up at the clock.
“Damn, sorry for keeping you late. I didn’t mean to, I was just having a blast!” he said, standing and stretching, a little sliver of his stomach showing as he did, making me avert my eyes.
“I did too. At least I live close by.” I said as I followed him out of his room and down the stairs.
“You do? That’s great! Here, put your address in my GPS and I will get you home in no time.” he replied, fishing his phone out of his pocket.
“Ok hyung, thank you.” I responded, taking his phone from him after he unlocked it.
“Put your number in there too while you are at it. Just in case.” He winked making me flush. I put my number in his phone before putting in my address into the GPS and handing it back to him as we reached the car.
“Oh wow, you do live really close! That’s fortunate!” he said as we climbed in the car. We didn’t really talk much as he drove me home, and once we pulled in front of my house, he turned to me slightly, as much as the seatbelt would allow, and smiled.
“I had a really great time today, thank you. I guess I will see you next practice?” he asked, making me smile and nod.
“I did too, and yes, I look forward to it. Goodnight hyung.” I said as I got out of the car.
“Goodnight Jungkook.” he replied as I closed the car door. I felt an added bounce in my step as I carried my bags through the door, closing it behind me.
“Cutting it late, aren’t you?” My dad said from his chair in the living room, looking at me over his reading glasses.
“Sorry, I lost track of the time. I was playing a racing game with my sunbae and didn’t realize how late it was.” I apologized, taking my shoes off. He hmphed and returned to his book, letting out a sigh.
“Don’t make a habit of it, we Jeons are responsible.” he said as I tried desperately not to roll my eyes.
“Yes, sir.” I responded, heading to the stairs.
“Did you have a good time Kookie?” my mom called from the laundry room as she came out with a smile on her face.
“I did. In fact, my sunbae decided to take me under his wing and I will be practicing even later than usual so I can get everything down.” I said as her smile widened.
“That is wonderful! I can’t wait to meet this boy.” she said as I swallowed.
“I’m sure he would love to meet you too. Goodnight Mom.” I said, kissing her on the forehead quickly before rushing up the stairs. I discarded my bags and took a shower, washing the day away as I ran through everything in my head. Not only did this dance class allow me to see Jimin every day, but it actually brought me closer to him than I ever thought I would get.
