What is your opinion?
It's alright
"Okay, I need to push my biases aside and realize the age group part. This is written for children, and honestly, it's fine as a children's story, even with its unneeded exposition; however, it did get better toward the end. The little lore details should be left for things to be implied than outright said."
The Masked Elves
"Good character development. Not my writing style but I would definitely read more. "
A long way to go.
"If this is indeed a story meant for children, then it's too much for even kids to want to focus on. If it's for adults, the writing is too immature to capture the attention of the readers for long enough to get them hooked. The paragraphs are too large, yet the dialogue is rushed and sparse. There is an entire conversation in the second chapter that is difficult to follow because the reader loses track of who is speaking. I'd advise the author work on locations, dialogue, and movement."
