''Hairy Monster''

''Snatch''

My first introduction too the female anatomy, if you read my other Books, you know her, name is ''Vanessa'' she and I met as children, of a domestic relationship with her, mom, my recently widowed dad, we lived as a family, regardless of how dysfunctional it seems, this was our union living as a normal family, she was 11 months older than me, I'm 10, we shared the same room, with twin beds, she and I solved our curiousness one night, and many times, 3am and 4am, I'll never forget, because from that night on, she had my mind controlled, she manipulated me, and had me under her, spell, this was an experience, as a child, she was..

''My First''

I shouldn't have been exposed too at this age, but I was wanting and willing, we never actually had sex, but dammit, in my mind she belong too me, we would always role play, when we had the house too ourselves, I had no idea that these moments were taking me right over the edge of being infatuated and out of control of my young emotions.

Who, would ever imagine a 10 year old, going through life, experiencing, having a girl, in his life and the public eye, seeing us as brother and sister, because we portrayed this image for several years, ....

''we living this ''Lie''

we carrying this dark secret day in and day out, not even our domestic parents have a clue, what she and I, do, almost everyday and every chance we get, never got caught, never openly suspected or accused, we deserve an Academy, our friends we close, but she and I never let that part of our closeness be exposed too anyone, our fraternity was exclusive, we played our parts, we kept our union sacred and secluded, we were exposed too adult behavior from our surroundings.

Our domestic parents, operated a drink house, and everybody knows what goes on in these houses, everyday of the week, our drink house was popular because of the variety of foods and drinks, including,

''Home Brew''

wine a big demand for the brew, my dad, was a homemade master chef, he had delights the folks, wanted on a regular bases, deep fried ''Chittlins'' pork chop, big hamburgers, smoke sausage, bread pudding, deep fried peanuts, steak sandwiches, pork skins, his mate was a great cook also, polk, salad, ribs, sweet potato tots, and Vanessa and I, sold oatmeal cookies and candy apples, our house was on the corner of this secluded neighborhood, called,

''The Hill.''

There were other drink houses right down the street and around the corner, within, a block of each other, however,

''Jack's''

was the most frequented, we often had ''Horse Shoe'' tournaments, me and my dad, could not be beat, he threw a ''round house'' pitch, I through a ''floater' pitch, and we were a great team, we pitched with so much precision and style my childhood was awesome, yes, I grew up in a fast environment faced with some gruesome moments of fighting, cutting and stabbing, however

''Vanessa and I were protected at all times,''

although she and I served drinks, as well, we poured those troubles for many patrons, the 25 and 50 cents shots, of

''White Liquor'' aka, "'scawl cat''.

..our classmates talked about our lifestyle, the School Bus, and City Bus both stopped at the corner in front of our house, we had all types of clientele, City Bus drivers, and even a Pilot for Smith Reynolds Airport, frequented our spot, he was chasing that dark skin, in my opinion.

Many of my friend's were living in some toxic conditions, don't know any living in a situation quite like mine, even though I've never penetrated Vanessa, the obsession for her, attention and companionship was in my mind,

''imperative''

I'm 13 by now, Vanessa experiencing womanhood, breast, her cycle, her space, Dad, move me out into the hallway,''

''piss me the hell off,''

he doesn't understand, she was not my sister she was my girl and she was the only girl, I've ever truly wanted with all my heart, I was out of control,

'' boy's couldn't call her on the phone, they couldn't come and sit on the porch,''

I gave them problems, long as my dad, didn't see, me, Vanessa tried talking too me, and reasoning with this

''Monster''

she created, she knew how too calm me down, and she knew how too shut me up, she was rugged, she fought like guy's do, and she was well coordinated, and strong, I was no match for her physically, and she knew it, most of my favorite long songs, back then were about her,

'' in my mind, she was everything.''

When she went too New York for the Summer, I was like ''Tarzan'' missing ''Jane''

''Jane don't go''

I was absolutely miserable, I hung around the house, hardly went anywhere, I had this attitude and my dad, could see, how this affected me, but I got myself under control, I'm now anticipating her return, counting the weeks, and days.

I was working at Broadway Barbershop shinning shoes, thinking too myself an listening too

''The ''Intruder's''

number one hit, ''Cowboy's and Girls''and one of my friend's came in the shop and said he just seen, Vanessa, walking down the street, I took my apron off and ran out the shop, towards home, she was on the porch, I hardly recognized her, she had these two afro balls hairstyle, we embraced, my heart was racing, my eyes were full of tears, this is My World, right in front of me, she seem distant in her, response, almost like she didn't wanna comeback, she loved New York, I felt the distance in her, really not missing me, the way I missed her, she has really grew up, she wasn't very talkative, she had absolutely no affection for me, ''

''anymore, ''

those days were gone,'' she laughed and played cards with me but that was it, she started dating, guy's in our school Kennedy Junior High, and neighborhood, she started sneaking around with the

''Super Star Football Player''

next door, ''Eugene, he was older, he was in High School,we were still in Junior High, my great grandma, my Grand dad, Mother, ''Nanny'' in Salisbury, was struggling by herself, and my Dad, took me too live with her, for awhile, I needed this, although I was reluctant, he took me anyway, and for the next year and a half, enrolled in Monroe Junior High, I was a residence of Cemetery Street, aka,

''Jersey City''

this was ''boot camp'' she was hard, she yelled everything, even ''Good Morning'' she was good too me, though, she lived in a old duplex, with a woodshed outback for wood, and coal and a skeleton key lock, that gave me hell in the winter, and brisk winds, her neighbor ''Miss Caldonia'' they both dipped snuff, lean over the front porch banister, talk and spit....''

''yuck, always hated this''

.....spit cups all over the house, ... I stayed with ''Nanny'' until she moved into a Senior Community, dad, brought me back home, enrolled back in the school system, shortly after returning, he and Vanessa, mom, split, and now we living with his Girlfriend,

''Alice''

who, enrolled me in Paisley Junior High, for a very short stint, ''Alice'' would go into rages, when my dad, was late coming home, they argued a lot, she shot at my dad, one evening, creased his ankle, ''

''oh, yeah,''

they broke up, and now, I'm living with his Dad, and wife, and he moved in with his new girlfriend, who already had four kid's, changed schools again, now I'm registered in Anderson High School, for one year, and then promoted too Parkland High School, my dad, found us a rent house, and now, I'm transferring too North Forsyth High, where I would eventually Graduate, ...

Vanessa and I stayed in touch no matter where they moved too, even after she joined the Army, we wrote each on a regular bases, she was still

''My Heart''

I was so, proud of her, accomplishments.....and now that we are grown, I reflect back too our ''Good Ole days''....what a Journey.

Never really gave it some deep down thinking concerning what Women, endure, and today I searched for some answers and what I discovered was, Women, are

''Blessed''

too control, the world, it's absolutely nothing a Man, won't do, too get what you been Blessed with, you have on your body the most desired human organ, we can not resist as a Man, you have heard every line their is by the age of 14....Women, at an early age, study the habits of all Men, especially her Father, her Uncles, and their Pastor.

Over the years, I've watch Women, deal with Men, who, mistreated them, these Women, were strong and determined their faith was never shaken, their families, witnessed their drama, many times, they had too hold their hurt around friend's, but grandma, always knew what's really going on behind their fake smiles, you can't hide ''Love''....let's just reflect on all the things Women, encounter 24/7.....365 days a year.

''that''

''Hairy Monster''

she has, is on her body, the ''Most Wanted''

''Island of Paradise''

Every male creature here below, their is nothing they won't do too obtain the ''Jewel'' of the Earth, lie, cheat, steal, kill, some Men, that have the gift of a Charismatic leader, don't have too work nearly hard as the janitor, too score, most Women, see through Men, as though they are transparent, we be thinking we running a game, and she thinking what an ''Idiot.''

let's just ponder something for a minute, Women, deal with Men, when they really don't feel up too it, they have too deal with the..

''greedy''

mate, that just can't get enough, morning, noon, and night, Women, deal with Men who, don't have good personal hygiene and live with them everyday, Women, deal with a Man, that had several other Women, knowingly, Women, deal the the baby Momma, still being physical with your Man, Women, married and single, staying in toxic relationships for years, Women, struggle with mental thoughts of her mate, sharing what she get's on a regular bases, Women, deal with having too

''do what she gotta do''

too keep peace in the home, because Children are involved, Women, deal with, having someone jumping up and down on her, and she feels absolutely nothing in her heart for this MF, Women, deal with, having bare sex with her, man, knowing her Man, , been other places, Women deal with oral sex from her man, knowing he been in other beds, Women, deal with her, Man, being in every ''hairy hole'' with her and the other her, Women, deal with a man, that wants sex spontaneously, Women, put out when they don't want too, their thoughts be,''

''get it in and get it out''

Women, are so, ''Spiritual'' and for the Women, that do certain things for a living, only you and God know the reason you choose this path, because for whatever reason, my heart goes out too you, your Job, as a Woman was hard enough and for you too give up, and give in too any and everything that walks, has too be a horrible style of life, I Pray you find another way.

My dad, grandma, Ethel Coleman, was an Organist for 70 years at her Church, Soldier Memorial, Salisbury North Carolina, I could feel her pain in her music, she was magical on the keys, I also, had a close friend name ''Cassandra'' who learned too play the piano at 6 years old, she has mastered the B-3 Hammond, her music also, reflects her past, she was molested many times, by a family member, our conversations revealed her innermost feelings from her past she stills deal with this family member and has too care for him, because of his health condition, no one else in the family is willing, she has been in professional music for many years, she juggled her schedule too assist her family.

Every Woman, I've ever dealt with had a testimony, and many shared their journey with me, and if it wasn't an Uncle, it was a close friend of the family or cousin, that tried too smooth talk them panties down, those funny Uncles, and Friend's people appear too adore, are the predators these Women, have been preyed upon by, they only told a few about it, because the family is close knit, the conversations were endless, and deep down they hated these predators, too the core. That ''Hairy Monster'' is worst than, ''Krytonite''..and always will be, except for the Men, that appreciate what God has Given, The World.