A Letter to my younger Brother

Hey Dear!

How are you? I hope by now, you’d be out of that beautiful and safe abode. Out of that magical utopia we once shared. Our mother’s womb. Of course, I am out too. I know you might be searching for me. I am there. With you. Not physically, but spiritually. Because you see, while people presume twins just resemble each other facially, both of us know for a fact, that it’s not really where the connection ends. Our bond goes way beyond our duplicate skin-cells. The strings are attached through our minds, through our hearts, through our souls. But I know as you’ll grow up, these memories of our togetherness will slowly fade away. Our strings can hold the heaviest of burdens brother, but not this monster called ‘Time’. There will be a day when you would have forgotten me. For I’ll be long gone.

Yes, I am going.

Given a choice, I would have never left you alone. Yet I have to, for this is not in my control. Our parents never wanted me. Dad referred to me as ‘An unwanted child’. My own father despises me. His insurmountable resentment is evident from the fact that he is ready to even become a murderer. Just to erase me from his life. I wonder what did I do to deserve such hate.

Now I lay here, upon this soft woolen sheet. It feels so peaceful. I wish death feels the same. I can hear someone’s footsteps, approaching towards my cradle. She is carrying the deadly injection. Its the same nurse our dear father had bribed to inject poison inside my veins. A ward boy stands at the door. Making sure nobody else enters inside. He just ate a banana and threw away its peel in the dustbin. This outside world has divided us brother. Inside our mother we were one beautiful fruit. Now, you are the banana, while I am just a peel.

But I know that you love me. You know me. You are the only one I have shared my life with. So today, I want to confide in you. Tell you the things about me, that no one else will ever know.

I want you to know that I’m 10 minutes elder than you. We share an unbelievably identical face, the only difference being the color of our hair. You have got your black hair from mother, while I inherited a tint of brown in my hair from father.

I had so many dreams. So many hopes. We were supposed to spend days and nights playing together. Pampering and teasing each other. We would go to school together. And then we would walk back home splashing water over the puddles. I guess I am just not lucky enough.

The poison is surging inside me. Playing with my blood a fatal game of life and death. The end result will obviously be mere a formality to tell. My whole existence is being wiped out.

Please take care of Mom brother. She will cry. We are her everything. Knowing about my death would shatter her whole world. I was her redemption. She had once whispered to me, “I wont let them treat you, like I was treated my entire life”. She wanted to live her life through me. Realize her dreams through me. I wont be able to do that now.

Maybe she always feared this. That’s why she was so protective towards me. Remember how she patted my back, cheered me up every time grandma told her, “Observe fast every Monday. God will grant us a boy. I don’t want a girl in there.”.

I do not want you to grow up like our father. Please don’t hate him. But please don’t be him. Learn from his wrongdoings, his mistakes. I have seen your soul, I have felt it. You have a light inside you brother. Don’t let it get snuffed away by darkness. Distance yourself from hatred, revenge and anger. I have immense pride in being your sister. And I want to be your and only your sister even in the afterlife and next all the lives.

My heartbeats are slowing down. The vision is blurring. World is coming to a stand still. It is time to bid farewell.

But before I die, promise me something. Promise me that you will always remember this day. The moment when you were born out of a woman’s womb. Whatever you achieve, wherever you reach, remember it couldn’t have been possible if not for that moment. Remember that there are no different castes, colors or genders. The only difference is between light and darkness. The only difference that matters. Promise me that one day, when you’ll be a father, you wont take away a child’s life. Take away a mothers soul.

Good bye baby brother. Live large, live fair, live kind. Live your life. And then live mine too.

Yours,

The elder twin sister who couldn’t live.