Burning Passion

London, England.

May.

SPENDING ALL NIGHT making love with my boyfriend was one of my favourite things in the whole world. It was wonderful that even doing something so primitive he still treated me with delicacy, as if I were a princess whom he has to protect and pamper. A smile crossed my lips as I remembered how yesterday, when we returned from dinner, he could not even wait for us to come to the room to kiss me and strip off my clothes, like a teenager with a great urgency. In the almost three years that we had been together we had never done it on the sofa, but even so he brushed my curves with his fingertips slowly while whispering in my ear how lucky he was and how much he loved me. He made it slow and sweet. As if we had all the time in the world and with the promise of a life together.

Strong arms wrapped around my waist and I jumped before relaxing. I turned on my heels to meet Henry, my fiancé. When we became a couple, I promised that my relationship would always top my list of priorities and that work would never interfere with my personal life. I have seen many people ruin their relationships, family or friendship just for not spending time or for not giving importance relegating them to the background with the false belief that these people would always be there. As if by magic and effortlessly the relationship would remain in perfect condition. As much as I wanted things to be easy, they never were, let alone a relationship. There are misunderstandings, arguments, jealousy and I could continue with a long list of things that interfere greatly affecting mutual trust. Leaving a small crack where the grudges of misunderstandings sneak. However, many of them are excuses that cause problems due to lack of communication.

Strangers and people very close to me had had such difficulties, I did not want to belong to that group, that would be a failure. I tried very hard not to have to reach that extreme. After all, there is a range of options to make the right decisions before giving up something or someone. For example, my philosophy of life was: always finish what you started, no matter what.

Is not easy. Some days I wake up and I question all of my decisions, I wonder if all the things that I have lost by following an established plan are worth it, I wonder if they are really the things I want and when I do not find an answer I feel like turning into a little ball on my bed, close my eyes and keep sleeping, waiting for the answers to come with my dreams. But they do not, they never do. Probably, it has a lot to do with the fact that I never allow myself to succumb to my secret pleasures and I decide to get out of bed to start a new day and do everything I had planned so that the results are perfect. I do not allow myself less than that.

It almost always worked.

“Good morning, my love,” said Henry.

He pressed his lips against mine and gave me the most chaste kiss in the world. Leaving me wanting something more meaningful, he went to the table where my breakfast was served. Rather, my breakfast attempt that consisted of toast with avocado, sliced tomato and a cup of tea, Lady Gray. I had a craving for something fattier, but I was on a diet to lose the last few pounds before the big day. I was one of those unfortunate women with a tendency to gain weight with just breathing and when I did, my curves went from being sensual to plump; what I trouble with the most was with my arms. No matter how much weight I lost, they always stayed thick. They were very unfeminine. I hated them. That thought shook me because it did not matter, I was solving it.

“Good morning,” I replied. I walked until I sat facing him. I thought you would get up later. Did I wake you up? I tried not to make too much noise.

He arched his eyebrows.

“You really tried? Because it seemed you were making all the noise on purpose”. Henry knew me and what I knew he liked along with all my imperfections, he accepted me as I was and he loved me completely. I am his Achilles heel. His weakness. A great part of mi, loves that; to the other part it seems a bit eccentric that a person surrenders without measures like him, but is there something better than feeling completely safe with your partner? To know that you are everything for that special person. In my opinion, there is not. Not to mention that stability is all I need to be happy.

I smiled a little sadly. “I do not like to eat breakfast alone”.

My fiancé started shaking his head. However, it ended with a loud sigh and gave me a sweet smile. Henry may be one of the few people in the world who possess infinite patience; He never gets angry, never loses control and less with me.

“No problem, anyway, I had to wake up somehow-as I said, his weakness.

It is not too early?”

“It’s six thirty in the morning”.

“It’s early”.

It was, but since I am dealing with hostile co-workers who intend to spend my time giving me late reports, I have to arrive a little earlier to work to do a couple of extra hours and be able to finish what I have pending. I also have to leave everything in order for the person who will replace me while I am on my marriage license. I would love to tell a couple of things to my co-workers for letting me do more work than I should just because I am the youngest and newcomer.

I like my job, so I do not mind being able to help them if they fall behind in delivering the reports, but their little sympathy towards me was evident and they try hard to prove it. If they could see that their bad attitude only shows their lack of education, things would be different. The worst part is that those who have been working in the hotel the longest say that I have to pay a “fee”. Who came up with that nonsense? That’s why they do the interviews, they do tests to see if you are qualified to perform the job. But deep down I think I understood them. Very deep down.

All their insecurities came from my internship. When I was doing them, my boss and hotel manager was very interested in me: in that I got used to it, that the whole atmosphere was pleasant; you could see the preference and it was not a secret that he was training me for a management position. The truth is that I did not have to start from the bottom. However, that did not give any of them any right to treat me that badly. Several times I’ve run into other workers talking bad about me, that I’m presumptuous and all that nonsense.

Everything worsened when three months ago Henry at a dinner proposed to me, it was not the most romantic proposal in the world, nor the most original and least the one I expected, but it was nice to know that after more than two years of being in a relationship We were still on the same page and we wanted the same thing. I do not know how they found out, but the gossip went from being presumptuous to be a profit-seeker because Henry was the nephew of one of the hotel’s associates. That’s when they assumed, erroneously, the manager’s preference came from that detail and why he did not treat me like another employee.

I did not complain about the obvious preference because previously I had chosen precisely the Lauthan Hotel to do my internship with the intention of leaving a good image; that they offered me the job was a big stroke of luck. To accept this job, I had to sacrifice my former colleagues from the travel agency where I worked. I missed them so much! They were warm and polite.

“Yes, but yesterday they gave me the inventories just when I was leaving, so now I have to arrive early to finish and have everything ready.” The anger I had felt was beginning to surface at that moment. “I’m sure they did it on purpose” I complained. “Also, I do not understand how they can receive a salary if they do not do anything. Absolutely nothing!”.

That’s not true, the poor assistants sat typing all day and fulfilling some of the bosses’ caprices, but at this moment complaining seemed valid to me.

“It’s because they feel intimidated by you, my love. —He frowned—. But if they bother you too much, I can try to do something, you just tell me, okay?”

I drain my feeling to him because I have to do it with someone or I could explode, but I do not like him interfering in my work, or that he thinks I need help to manage my colleagues. I had mentioned it before.

I shook my head slowly.

“It’s just that they take advantage a little because I’m new, but I’ll be fine”. I tried to reassure him.

He probed me with his eyes, but instead of insisting on the subject, he poured himself a cup of tea. However, I was completely sure that an idea began to spin in his head. Whenever he wants to say something important or propose something to me, he becomes mute and ponders. He thinks long before speaking so he can say it with the right words, with seductive words so I accept his opinion and sometimes, very rarely, simply leaves me with the doubt.

Apparently, this would be one of those rare times.

I kept silent to let him think and I concentrated on eating my breakfast. In the end, if it was important, he would finish saying it. If not, I would simply force myself to let it go because I’m not going to ask. Between us silence is better.

“Your mom called the office three times and five times on my cell phone asking me the same question”.

I grimaced as I left my cup of tea on the table.

My wedding planner had been on my neck for the last three months, so I asked Mom to coordinate with her so I could get a break, after all, I had made all the necessary decisions. It was only to supervise that everything was as I wanted and maybe fix some small detail that may have elude me. It was a mistake to ask her. I wanted it to be done by the end of May, there was no other date for me. But there were only thirteen days left. Thirteen! And my mom, instead of being of helpful, she is taking the liberty to change many of the things that I have already chosen because she thinks they are more in tone with the wedding. In short, she is living through me and delaying my plans. What I had asked for was very simple, but she is complicating everything. She wants everything to be perfect, we agree on that, but she overwhelms me with nonsense.

Apparently, I’m not the only one who she overwhelms and I’m surprised that she dared to call him. Since I announced that I would marry him, all the members of my family almost venerate him and try not to overwhelm him. My mom is in the clouds bragging about her only daughter’s boyfriend.

“What do you want?” I asked.

“If I preferred pink or white roses”.

His bewildered face was very funny and I would have had more fun if my mom was not taking too many attributions that did not concern her, but now she was my problem. It was I who decided to ask for her help instead of delegating this to one of my bridesmaids. But tradition dictates that the mother has to be involved in all of these things, right?

Ridiculous and silly tradition of me to follow.

“And which do you prefer?”

Henry looked at me like he was losing my mind. I smiled sweetly. He hated this about the preparations.

“My love,” he said in a soothing voice, “you promised to take care of this, that’s why we put the date so close and it’s you who wants a hundred guests”.

“Your family is large and if we do not invite everyone, they could get angry with us”. For a moment I thought that all this fuss is because I want everything to go perfect in such a short time. “However, you’re right: I said that I would take care of all the planning for our wedding and I want to do it, really. But I have hardly had the time. I think maybe we should change the date and get married in September, as you proposed from the beginning”.

The invitations were already sent; the church and the hall were already reserved; catering, decoration and entertainment were also booked; just thinking about going through all that again made my skin crawl.

No, I was definitely not thrilled to have to wait until September and with his eyes, Henry told me that he would not put up with Mom breathing down our necks. But how was I going to do to fix all the changes that occurred with her in charge? And what would I do to make everything ready in less than two weeks? I could just leave it at that, after all thirteen days are nothing. As if he had read my mind, my fiancé said: “Why do not you take these days ahead to make sure everything goes to your liking? These are just small details that you should supervise, right?”

I nodded, but it was not like that. I had to do the final fitting of the dress, see that the catering was perfect, make sure the decoration of the church and that the hall did not have roses, and had to make sure how many of the guests confirmed attendance and many other things that could come up along the way.

I sighed, Henry was right: it would be good for me to take these days, I could also find some time to relax. I needed it. However, it is not the best introduction for a job in which I am still the new one and in which your co-workers hate you.

“I do not think they will give me permission, Henry”, I exhaled.

Henry shrugged off any importance to my concern.

“I can talk to my uncle before my business trip”.

I was frozen. Did he say business trip?

“What business trip?”

In thirteen days we were going to get married and he wanted me to advance on my marriage license a couple of days more than those who already were approved for our honeymoon, but, nevertheless, he was going on a trip and leaving all this mess to me.

I am organizing this. I want it to be soon. I want everything to be perfect, but it’s our wedding. Us two.

He cannot just leave.

He should be putting a little more interest in our wedding.

Sensing that my exasperation was growing, I tried to calm down.

“I must go supervise a work-related matter outside the city, it’s a matter of a few days, honey. When I return, I promise that you will have me at your disposal to help you in everything you need, now the only thing I can do is get you more free time.”

That did not help to reassure me, for some reason it bothered me a lot.

“I cannot have more free time; I’ve only been at the hotel for a few months”.

“My uncle is one of the investors and he will not have any problem in granting you more free time”.

I already know that! I bit my tongue to not yell at him. After all, while doing my internship at the hotel as assistant manager was when we first met. However, that fact was just another thing for which my co-workers hated me: they believed that that’s why they hired me and prevented one of them from being promoted. I did not want to give them more reasons for their hostility for me to increase.

If I was honest with me, it was obvious that the high management treated me differently since Henry and I formalized our relationship, but I refused to think that my co-workers could be right, and they only gave me the job because of who my fiancé was. That would be low, I had burned my eyelashes studying and following a system to be the best in my class, and that way get excellent grades and be efficient in my internship. I was the best person for the Job, period. I had earned it.

Nobody gave me anything.

I hated that doubt invaded me making me feel insecure, I was good at what I did. However, Henry’s attitude about this exasperated me and did not help.

“No, Henry, I do not want you to move your influences with your uncle to allow me to have more free time. If you cannot take it, then neither can I”. I said slowly, enunciating each word.

I wanted to make it very clear that there are no differences between us, after all, Henry is a bit traditional and sometimes a bit macho; not to mention that he never loses the opportunity to say who his family is. Breathe deeply. I never had the feeling that he was underestimating my work and that only because of him did I get my job. I have never felt that he is asking for more than I am willing to give.

Thinking about better, if I gave in on this with him, I would be giving him the wrong impression that in the future he could persuade me in other things and no. I know perfectly what I want and what my priorities are, and a man that kept me and gave me everything did not enter any of my lists.

Henry placed his hand on mine, covering it.

“It was only a suggestion; you are the boss”.

We looked at each other for several seconds, contemplating ourselves. Those were the words I wanted to hear, but his eyes had a spark of rebellion and something else that I could not decipher, but it was enough to put a bad taste in my mouth.

My stomach gave a somersault.

That look was not new. In the course of our relationship it has appeared a couple of times and he always managed to hide it before I could decipher it, making me think that it was only my imagination. But now it was not so fast and it was there. I still do not know with certainty what it means, but what I do not like at all

“When do you think you will return?”. I asked.

“As I said, it’s only a couple of days. Probably come back on Saturday”.

He is acting all conciliatory and friendly, but the only thing I can hear clearly was the «probably». That did not help me, I want everything to go perfect and I needed certainty not probabilities.

Henry’s family was the founder of the Faron Corporation and he worked as an architect in it, and these work trips occurred frequently. The construction company is one of the most successful in the region and Henry is very good at what he does, so he must supervise several works in person; some outside the city, others outside the country, which caused these trips to end up lasting longer than I was initially assured. There were always unforeseen events.

Ignoring the warning that I did not press him, I informed him: “I need accuracy, not a possibility”.

He sighed heavily, an indication that he was losing patience.

“Saturday, I return Saturday without fail” he said with a strong tone that took me by surprise, then smiled dreamily. ”I would not miss my wedding with the most beautiful woman in this world”.

I blinked, surprised by the ease of changing his mood.

That attitude goes much more with Henry, gallant and saying loving things. It was one of the things I liked most about him. There has never been a single day when he does not give me a compliment, a mime or a smile. He was a gentleman.

I relaxed.

“Every time you say that, I believe you less”.