Reading Behind The Chats

Guy: *Think of something that will sweep her off her feet!... ‘What’s an angel doing on FB?’... Backspace!... That was sad... Something awesome... Something awesome... Quick!* Hi *crap.*

Crush: *Oh, not him again... If only you could get attracted to sweet guys... Would love to keep him as my friend... But I know he wants more... These nice guys... They always want more.* Hey! What’s up?

Guy: *Okay... Now a good punchline... Make her laugh... Make her laugh* The ceiling fan! :P *Please do yourself a favor... Please die.*

Crush: *Look at this now! Which girl will ever fall for this joke... I understand he is nervous... But still... The ceiling fan!... Like seriously?* Hahaha! Good one! *Oh, I am going to regret this.*

Guy: *That ‘hahaha’ was she spitting on you... Burying your humor alive... At least a comeback now... Please!* I am a good one :) *Better... Phew.*

Girl: *And he starts speaking in Morse code...* Means?

Guy: *God, she’s dumb... But cute... Maybe it was too cryptic... Let me explain* You said ‘good one’ for the joke... I twisted the words to use them in my favor... It’s called wordplay :D *Now understand, for God’s sake!*

Girl: *Okay, now I got that... It’s still boring... I need to end this without killing him in my head *Oh, okay :D... Hey, gotta go... Mom’s calling... TTYL :)

Guy: *Stop her... Stop her* Bye!*I am dying alone*

Chat 2: Guy’s Mother Notices Her Son Is Online

Mother: *It’s been hours since we spoke... I can call, but that would irritate him... Let me use WhatsApp... He will think I am cool* Hi beta!

Guy: *What does she want now? I am chatting with your potential daughter-in-law here!* Hi Ma! Anything urgent?

Mother: *Hehe, my son! Always busy at work... Let me post a flower’s picture... It will lighten his mood* Yes, I wanted to say Gooooooood Nighttttttt to you! *There! I got that ‘good night’ part bang on! Kids these days type the exact same way! I’m slick!*

Guy: *WTF! I am not even going to download that pic!* I’m busy, Ma! GN!

Mother: *These cruel guys give so much work... I always said not to send him away... But his father* Had dinner? Or busy for that too?

Guy: *Oh, Ma... She cares for me so much, and look at my replies* Yes, Ma, I just ate... Did you?... Took your BP tablets?

Mother: *See, no matter how much they burden him, he rises like a phoenix, inquiring for his mom... My son!* Should I call?

Guy:Wait, I’m calling

Chat 3: Guy sees his old best friend online after a hiatus, they have had an argument and have stopped talking ever since

Guy: Hi *Ahh, what was I thinking... I had sworn I wouldn’t message him until he does*

Friend: *Oh, he pinged... I have missed him so much... I and my bloody ego are going to hold hands on the way to hell* Hey! How are you, man? Long time! *Mostly because of me*

Guy: *See, he replied... It took just 1 ping... Just 1 little ping... Even though it was my fault back then... He still holds nothing... I am such an ass... Let’s crack a joke to ease the tension* How’s the girlfriend? Or rather, who’s the girlfriend these days? :P

Best Friend: *Hahaha... He’s still got the humor* ROFL... Let me ask first... Has there been any girlfriend? Or rather, will there be any girlfriend? Ever? :P

Guy: *And we’re back on track... Like nothing ever happened* No, no, my one true love was only you! I couldn’t cope up after our breakup. I think I need closure :D

Best Friend: My flat tonight?

Guy: I will bring the drinks!