Shower Thoughts

When I woke up this morning, I knew it would be an awful day. I say this because this is the day of my father's funeral. My father was a secretive man, he kept his business and personal life separate. Very separate. He never talked about work at the dinner table, and when he did talk about his business he always went to his office. That very office was the room he was shot dead in. There was even a note, not a suicide note; more of a warning. A warning of what is to come. As I have previously said, my father kept his personal life separate from his business life. Therefore I haven't a clue what he pursued. I've only been able to go inside his office one time. It was the day after my fathers assassination. It was late afternoon, it had been a gloomy day; thundering and rain. The clouds covered the sky with a dark gray glimmer. The lighting and thunder not helping the occasion.

There were detectives and police all over our house, they had k9's as well. The office was a mahogany color, everything the same; as my father didn't like bright colors, or any colors at all. My mother had walked into the office this morning, she hadn't even seen my father yet, until she closed the door and was met with his bloodied corpse sitting face down on his desk. She screamed Bloody murder and called the police immediately. I had stayed at a friend's house that Friday night. So on Saturday morning at 9am I wasn't expecting a call from my mother telling me to rush home because of the murder of my father. I was in shock, so in shock that there were no tears leaving my eyes. Infact I couldn't even process what she had said. I had immediately cut the dial and rushed to my yellow 1976 volkswagen beetle. Totally forgetting my items at my friends house, I had backed out of her driveway almost hitting the light post on the opposite side of the road.

When I got home I busted through the front door demanding to see my mother. A detective, Shawn was his name, led me to where my mother was. When we finally arrived to my fathers office, I found my mother on her knees sobbing from the murder of my father. I decide to not go up to my mother, incase I would startle her. I walk around the room examining everything. Blood was everywhere from the floor, to the walls; even the ceiling. I continue to walk around the desk, walking even further into the half dried blood. I stop and look at my deceased father, his hands are worn and have thick callases, and his skin is a sickingly white shade.

I turn to my mother and see her look up at me, her eyes puffy and red. She walks to me and gives me a much needed hug. I love my mother, she's been the only person there for me, other than my friend. I turn back to my father, walking towards him carefully as if he would come back, but that couldn't happen.

"What did you do?" I whisper to myself,

I look at the blood soaked papers on his desk as well as his laptop. He must have left the note on his desk alongside his papers and pens. The officers and detectives had already discovered said note, therefore I hadn't the chance to read it. I could always ask; although they'd most likely decline my request.

I decided to ask anyway "My mother informed myself that there was a note that was written and left, may I see it?"

"I'm sorry Miss Donavon, but we are not permitted to share case evidence." Shawn answers

I frown "Oh, well."

I stare at my father, it is as if I am in a trance. As if I couldn't look away...

"Honey, the phone is ringing, the person said that they wanted to speak with you." My mother informed me worriedly

I look at her, tears building in my inferior palpebral sulcus.

"I love you mom." I don't tell my mother this enough, I don't even call her 'mom'. I hadn't told my father that I love him enough.

My mother smiles sadly "I know,"

I grab the phone from the landline and say,

"Hello?"

No answer, so I say again slightly irritated,

"Hello?"

Still no answer so I hang up the landline and unplug it. My mother looks at me oddly, "Why would you do that?"

"If someone wants to talk to us then they can come here." I reply with no explanation, I honestly do not understand why I unplugged the landline, although I do feel like it was the right thing to do.

Anyhow we have more important things to worry about, things to plan; such as my fathers funeral.