Withholding Secrets [HIATUS]

Samantha

Okay, well I guess it wasn’t so bad. It went quicker than I thought it would. I guess I did the right thing for the rest of my life; to get divorced. Thomas was very cooperative when it came to the terms of the divorce. I am to get alimony, along with the house in Chicago and the beach condo in Miami. Good thing we didn’t have any kids together, otherwise I would be attached to this pathetic motherfucker for the rest of my life. First of all, I couldn’t believe that he would sleep around like he did. But to sleep around with another man? How does that make me feel? My pussy wasn't good enough for him. That was a bit much for me. I’ve come to the realization that I did not truly know the man I was married to for 5 years.

I looked down at the yellow legal writing pad sitting in front of me. I was bored, listening to all the legal jargon going on between our lawyers. I could see him staring at me from across the table through my peripheral vision. I couldn’t look at him. I didn’t even want to lay eyes upon him, he lied to me. But I can’t bear letting him see me like this. The picture on the writing pad had a face of a woman with a confused look upon her face. It seemed as if she didn’t know which way was up; she resembled me. I couldn’t let him win, not like this. He may have left me for a man no doubt, but I was the one who was gaining. I was gaining the opportunity to return to my life again.

I raised my eyes and landed on his face. He looked as if he had lost his best friend. He begged me to stay but how could I? He wasted my time. I glanced at him - his face was nice and clean; his smooth caramel skin looked like satin. He looked good in his black pinstriped suit. I must admit, Thomas always knew how to dress. Our eyes met as I glanced at his face. We held a moment in time; my stomach fluttered. It was the same look he had given me when we first met. He looked like a helpless beagle and I guess I couldn’t let a stray stay outside without a home.

“Okay, Mrs. Anderson, all you have to do is sign where the highlighted areas are and we can close this chapter of your life.” My lawyer, Mr. Kaczynski said.

“And begin a new chapter.” I said as I took the pen from his hand and signed my new lease on life.

“Samantha, I just want to say, I didn’t mean to…”. Thomas started from across the table. I cut him a look that could kill. He didn’t mean to? Just like that? What in the world was he thinking to say, that he didn’t mean to? He began again after a short pause. “I just wanted to say that I didn’t mean for things to end up like this.”

“We never do, Thomas. We just go with the flow.” I was trying to remain calm. How in the hell could he say that he didn’t mean for us to end up like this? He had been in a serious relationship with a man, without my knowledge, for the past three years! How am I to take that? I wanted to cry, yell, scream and slap the shit out of this stupid motherfucker! I wanted to reach across the table and grab this nigga by the collar and say, “What the Fuck is your issue?!” I didn’t understand. My feelings were all mixed up.

Now when I look at him, he looks sad, just simply sad as if he actually lost his best friend. He looked at me deeply and my stomach fluttered again. He smiled a faint smile and his eyes darted away. I remember so clearly how we used to laugh together. I looked down at the pad again and I wrote the word, Miami. It was a word or city that was synonymous with Thomas.