Thomas and Ash

This is the third book after ‘Pet-Brother’. The order of the series is ‘Pet-Brother’, ‘Jordan’s Brat’ and then ‘Thomas and Ash’.

Be warned that this is a gay romance with sexual, BDSM themes and mentions of mental health issues.

THOMAS’ P.O.V

I was sitting at home alone, trying to find something to do with my free time as I had a day off after having performed extensive surgery the previous night. I sighed, stared at the television and decided to watch a show but I quickly grew bored of that so I decided to go get a book from my mini-library upstairs. Unfortunately, I quickly grew bored at the thought of that too so I ended up heading back to the couch.

I glanced at my phone which was on the coffee table and contemplated calling my son. He had a test today and I knew he had been feeling anxious about it earlier. He was studying oncology at the university 45 minutes away and, as someone who had once been a medical student, I understood how tiresome the third year could be.

Maybe I can text him and see if he’s done with the test. He might need some comforting or-

No. He’s got Jamie. I shouldn’t be one of those overbearing parents.

I sighed again and tried to pick another show to watch but I couldn’t find anything that interested me. I didn’t even want to watch a show. I wanted... company. It had been so long since I last had a nice conversation with somebody or even went out on a date.

The other doctors caught up for drinks whenever they were free but they never invited me. I knew a lot of them were shy to approach me because of my big reputation and success as a surgeon but it would be nice to have some friends. And it really didn’t help that I was also too shy to talk to any of them.

“I need to put myself out there,” I whispered, feeling that familiar sense of loneliness inside of me.

Luckily, my phone buzzed with a text before I could start to overthink. I smiled when I saw that it was a message from Hayden.

Hay🩵: I just finished the test

Me: That’s great. How was it?

Hay🩵: Easier than I thought it would be

Me: I’m proud of you. You’re one step closer to becoming a doctor!

Hay🩵: 😊❤️

I smiled, thinking about how much he had grown up. I had been around his age when he was born and I remembered the panic I felt, knowing that I’d have to raise him alone since his mother died during labour. I thought I’d fail to do a good job bringing him up and at times I did mess up but I always did my best to be there for him. And now he was 21, engaged and on his way to becoming a brilliant doctor.

“I’m so proud,” I smiled, trying to blink back my tears. “I should buy him a box of cupcakes. He works so hard.”

I got up immediately, deciding that was a great idea. I was going to buy my son a box of cupcakes so he would know just how proud I was of him for finishing that test.

“DOCTOR CLOVER!”

I dropped the box of cupcakes I had bought to celebrate Hay completing his test and rushed into the apartment at the sound of Jamie’s scream.

My brain immediately went into panic mode and I rushed through the unlocked door and ran to their bedroom before I properly had time to process. It was only once I entered their room that I realised Jamie’s scream hadn’t been one of pain.

I threw the door open and both of their heads snapped in my direction. All our eyes widened in horror as I caught Hayden balls-deep inside of his fiancé who was basically my other son.

“Dad?!” Hayden shouted, looking mortified.

“Oh, God!” I cried out, rushing out of the room immediately. “I’m so sorry! I really didn’t mean to!” I apologised as I speed-walked away. “I thought he meant ‘Doctor Clover’ as in me! I didn’t know you were doing...that!”

My face felt hot as I left their apartment and slammed the door behind me.

I found Hakeem standing in the hallway holding the box of cupcakes I’d dropped as he casually ate one.

“Saw them fucking?” He asked.

I nodded wordlessly, feeling beyond mortified.

“Oh, you poor man... Come to my apartment. Let’s bond over our mutual trauma.”

That’s how it started.

Hakeem led me into his apartment, gave me some vodka and let me ramble to him about my problems. I told him about how lonely I’d been and once I started opening up, I just couldn’t stop.

“I tried to make some friends at work but it’s hard. A lot of them are intimidated by me because I’ve got a big reputation and some of them would rather have me as a mentor than a friend,” I sighed and chugged down the remaining vodka that was in my glass before I put the glass down on his coffee table. “I guess I’d like to have someone to share my life with. But I’m forty-four now and it’s not easy to find a lover at this age. It’s been three years since Jamie and Hay moved out. I should be used to living alone by now.”

“There are some things we just can’t get used to,” Keem mumbled, staring at me with hazel eyes full of compassion before he grinned. “Thomas, I might have the thing you need.”

“It’s not a weird sex toy, is it?” I shuddered at the memory of the gift he’d given Hayden on his eighteenth birthday. “I’m alright without any of those.”

“It’s not a weird sex toy,” He rolled his eyes. “But they can do wonders for your happiness so let me know if you change your mind.”

“I won’t,” I said.

“Suit yourself,” He shrugged before he held his hand out. “Give me your phone.”

“Why?”

“So I can cure your loneliness, duh.”

I begrudgingly pulled my phone out of my pocket, did the facial recognition and handed the device to Hakeem wearily. He immediately went online and found some random app. I watched as he downloaded it before he handed the phone back to me once he was done.

“What is this?” I peered at the new app and my face got warm when I read the name. “Fetish Corner?”

That doesn’t sound like a recipe app...

“It’s a BDSM dating app for Doms and subs,” Keem stated proudly. “I was on it looking for Jordan, but he doesn’t have an account, so I left. It has all sorts of Doms and subs so I’m sure you’ll be able to find what you’re looking for.”

“But I’m not BDSM,” I said as I blushed but I couldn’t stop myself from staring at the app on my screen. I was intrigued.

“Just give it a try,” He suggested. “If you don’t like it then you can leave whenever you want.”

“Alright...” I bit down on my lip and pressed ‘create account’ before I held my phone out for Keem to take. “Help me.”

He grinned and we got to work on making me an account. There were a lot of intrusive questions regarding my preferences and it was a little embarrassing to have to answer them in front of Hakeem but, luckily, they weren’t sexual. Once we finished getting me set up, we started swiping left and right on various accounts that popped up.

We then watched a movie and ate some proper food while we waited for someone to respond. I got a text three hours later from someone named ‘Ash’. I didn’t even get a chance to read through their profile as Keem squealed, getting excited and I had to hide my phone screen from him as I read the message I’d received.

Ash: Are you real?

I frowned in confusion but typed out a response.

Me: Yes.

Ash: Tell me three red flags of yours

Me: Why?

Ash: I prefer to get everything out of the way at once. Just think of it as a test

I bit down on my lip and tried to think of some of my ‘red flags’ but it was hard, especially with Hakeem staring at me with his big, curious eyes.

Me: I can’t think of any.

Ash: Try

I shrugged and decided to type the first things that came to mind before I hit the ‘send’ button.

Me: I cry easily, I prefer cats over dogs and I encourage my son to beat people up with a baseball bat (only if the people are bad, of course)

Ash: None of those sound like red flags. I love cats too

Me: 😄So, did I pass your test?

Ash: Kind of. I’m still not sure if you’re real

I glanced over at their profile picture which was just the letter A in black.

Me: I’m not sure if YOU are real. You don’t even have a profile picture.

They started typing and then stopped and I worried for a second, thinking I’d scared them away. However, they responded a few seconds later.

Ash: Video call in an hour?

They’re very forward...

Me: Alright.

[Ash is now offline]

I continued to stare at the screen for a moment, unsure of how to feel or what to make about the stranger I just texted. But I assumed a video call would change that. After all, it was easier to communicate when you could see the person’s face.

“Well?!” Hakeem shouted and I glanced up from my phone to see him looking both frustrated and curious. “Say something! Is it a guy? A girl? Are you two going to have a one-night stand? I don’t recommend the last one. There are a lot of creeps out there.”

“No one-night stand,” I said and got off his couch. “I should head home.”

“Come on! You’re not going to tell me anything?!” He whined and I smiled.

“Thanks for cheering me up.”

“You’re welcome, I guess,” He huffed. “I shared my vodka and you won’t even share the juicy details.”

So far, there were no details to share. I decided I’d read through Ash’s profile when I got home. And, at the thought of going back to my empty house, I began to miss having Hayden and Jamie around. But then I remembered that they were right next door to Hakeem. And then I remembered that I had walked on them engaging in some... roleplay.

Okay. I’m going to get home and pour myself another shot.

And maybe book an appointment with a therapist.

Or just quit my job. The words ‘Doctor Clover’ might be permanently tainted in my mind now.

When I got back to the house, the sun had already set. I had spent more time at Hakeem’s house than I’d thought but luckily we’d eaten together so there was no need for me to cook. The drive took 45 minutes which meant that I had 15 minutes before Ash would call. I decided to head upstairs and step into the shower before I brushed my teeth and pulled on my pyjamas.

I had just gotten comfortable in bed when my phone started to ring with a call from the dating app.

[Incoming Call From Ash]

I picked up immediately but didn’t see Ash’s face or mine. Instead, it was a voice call with the same, black letter A on my screen. I frowned in confusion and put the call on speaker.

“Hey,” I said, sounding a little awkward because I wasn’t the best when it came to talking to strangers. Let alone strangers on a dating app. A BDSM dating app. “I thought we were having a video call?”

There was some shuffling on the other side and I sighed, thinking I was being pranked or something. I was about to hang up but then Ash spoke.

“Sorry.” I froze, hearing their low, gruff voice. “Just give me a second. The connection’s a bit shit right now.”

“Alright.”

I decided to take the time to read through their profile. I tapped on their name and the app took me straight to their account. I smiled and began to read through it.

Name: Ash

Age: 40

Oh, thank goodness. Only three years younger than me.

Gender/ pronouns: He/ Him

Sexuality: Gay

D/s/S: sub

By the time I finished reading, Ash finished sorting out the network issue. His face popped up on the screen and I raised my phone so we were at eye-level. We both froze when we looked at each other and my eyes went a little wide. I hadn’t been expecting him to be so... handsome.

He had black hair which was cropped in a not-too-short buzz cut fade with the sides being shorter than the top. It suited him and brought attention to the sharp angles of his face, his pink lips and those intense, grey eyes. He looked intimidating with his dark stubble, cold gaze and the faint scar above his right eyebrow. And yet, I couldn’t stop staring.

There was something about him. Something deep in his eyes, beneath the coldness. A sort of... fear?

“You’re very handsome,” He said and I snapped out of my daze.

“Same,” I mumbled before blushing. “I mean, y-you too.”

He raised a brow, “Your profile says you’re a Dom?”

“Yes.”

He stared at me for a moment and shrugged his broad shoulders. “You don’t look like much of a Dom.”

"Well, I am."

“Hm,” he said. “Good night, then.”

Good night?

“That’s it?” I frowned, feeling confused again.

“What more were you expecting?”

“I was hoping we’d get to know each other,” I mumbled, feeling my cheeks get warm. “I’m Thomas. I’m 43. I’m a neurosurgeon. And I have a son named Hayden. He’s 21.”

“Well, I’m Ash,” Ash spoke in that same, impassive tone. “I’m 40. I’m a Navy SEAL. I don’t have kids. And you’re not my type. Good night.”

And then he hung up.

I stared at my blank screen for a moment, feeling so embarrassed and hurt.

“What was I thinking?” I sighed, putting my phone on the bedside table before I reached up to turn off the lights. I lay down and pulled the blankets up to my shoulders, trying hard to blink back my tears. “Me? A Dom? Dating someone at my age? God, I’m such a fool.”

Tomorrow, I’d go to work and save another life. Then I’d come home to my empty house. And, maybe, Jerard and Cace would invite me over for dinner. But in the end, I’d go to bed alone.

And that was fine.

I was fine.