Roots and Books
The cool gentle breeze teased the pages of Un’debro’s book. He sat in the shade of a lone tree on a hill not far from the grand city-state of Haimore. The tree sat as a beacon of individuality and stoicism on the hill. It had a view of the surrounding hills, forest, and city. Un’debro purposely sat on the side of the tree that faced the vast forest known as the “Green Caverns″. The canopy of the forest is so thick it creates an unsettling darkness. It is said that the darkness is so disorienting that only creatures that have stronger senses than vision can navigate with any sort of understanding.
Un’debro appreciated the view of the top of the canopy because it seemed to free his mind to wander. He much preferred this over the highly manufactured rows of manmade structures of Haimore. And, the roots on this side of the tree were just more comfortable for reading. Of course, Un’tra knew of these preferences and used this to position himself in an attempt of stealth.
“What can I do for you son?” Un’debro said without lifting his head from his reading.
“How can you always know I am coming? I know no one else who seems to see the future quite like you mentor.” Un’tra said as he gave up his attempt at stealth.
“My young boy, the hawk does not think about where the field mouse is but where he will be once he senses danger.” Un’debro said in his well-known and often irritating riddling manner.
“Mentor, why must everything be a lesson, a story, or some sort of riddle with you?”
“Ha, the day I don’t challenge your understanding of the Path and its mysteries is the day you stray from it. Nonetheless, I am no magic oracle. You spooked a robin with your clumsy steps. I see we need to increase your mobility training. How can you defend someone if you move your feet poorly? Like this mighty oak, you get your power from the bottom up.”
Un’tra sat beside his mentor and broke off a piece of sweet bread for him. As he did this he tilted his head below the slant of the book in Un’debro’s hand. He asked,
“‘The Rocks Sing at Night’ Why do you read such nonsense?”
“Such a narrow Path your mind has forged today. I learn about the rocks because their Path is just as important as anything that takes breath. The gods did not develop the Path of each living creature and forget about what surrounds them. You may not realize it yet, but the rock will share its secrets with those who know its Path and are worthy.” Un’debro rattled on in his true form as a constant teacher of the Path and worthiness.
“I know the faithful of the Holi-inte must learn the Paths of all that exists, but why should I care to be worthy of a rock? The rock is not conscious and merely on the Path as an obstacle. How is the rock worth it to me?” Un’tra retorted defiantly.
“It’s not yet for me to know or to give you. Merely knowing that the Path exists for the rock gives it worth and me peace. By studying it I become worthy of its secrets.”
“Worthy of what secrets!?” Un’tra asked in utter confusion.
“Secrets of not being crushed, breaking the wheels of my carriage, or even the annoyance of plaguing my boots.” Un’debro said with a jovial smile as he nudged his student encouragingly. He smiled widely and even though he has a slight graying of the edges of his hair, his skin does not wrinkle and his eyes have no fade to them from age.
“Do not succumb to the dull militaristic training of the Holi-com. You are a Holi-inte you must defend the city-state through faith, education, and, when necessary, physical defense. But, most importantly, compassion my young friend.” Un’debro had a way of delivering thought-provoking lessons with minimal effort and without the weight of responsibility aging him. This most likely is due to the stress-free lifestyle he diligently maintains.
“I have had so many dull trainings, I am ready for the Path to take me somewhere bigger and show me an interesting purpose.” Un’tra whined, showing his not fully developed maturity. The Holi-inte training is difficult, especially for younger men and women. The recruits are physically and mentally forced to the brink of exhaustion. Most recruits break very early on and learn that the Path the Holi-inte stride for requires the sacrifice of the self and obedience to one’s practice.
“The ultimate goal is for you and the others to learn and love the physical world for what you can receive from it, as well as give back to it. Don’t be so hasty to skip through the lessons on the way to your Path, or you may find it leads you to a place not worthy of your talents.” The wise mentor said admiring the naivety of the young man.
The Holi-inte order contains thirty members at the present time. However, Un’tra has not had a trial like the others. He was the only child ever brought into the order. This has led to massive expectations, intense training, and almost constant personal lessons for Un’tra. The pressure and intimate relationship he has with Un’debro has greatly honed his mind and body. His training, however, has not stopped his wandering and at times rebellious mind. He often has a quick remark and a desire to enjoy life rather than studying.
“I do love the physical world and all of its beautiful Paths, but don’t you feel that we are meant for more than just studying rock’s worth? Why can’t we study the worth of this brew?” Un’tra asked, shifting the often wild strands that hang by his eyes out of the way as he gestured to the brewed drinks he had brought.
“I’m quite sure you probably haven’t studied enough today, but it seems the Path of the breeze is to convince me to put down the books for a moment.” Un’tra smiled as he knew that a respite might convince his young pupil to train later. Un’debro also found it difficult to refuse the invitation of a nice alcoholic beverage.
After a meal, few drinks, and a few laughs below the magnificent lone tree on the hill, Un’debro couldn’t resist his constant urge to mentor and teach. He reached into his pack and asked,
“Well, no gain in wasting a perfect chance to read. What brightens your mind? Rocks as you so jested about, the formation and understanding of star groupings, or the domestication of wolves?”
“I can’t say I much want to read any of these. I’d much rather practice my sword hands or just drink some more of this lovely brew.”
“Of course son, it is much easier to sit on the side of the Path and drink brew rather than walking the distance.”
“Sitting on the side of the Path allows me to be mindful of every step I’ve taken. The brew is proof that I am worthy to know the secrets of the wheat and the barley that provided it.” Un’tra said with his big smile as he knew that he could give lessons back to his wise mentor.
“Well put my boy. I do not wish to disturb your so-called ‘meditation’ as you have mine.” Un’debro jested back to his insolent student.
“We are Holi-inte, mentor. ‘The Swords of Faith’ I want to protect my people with my sword and piety.” Un’tra said, changing his demeanor to one of pleading for he knew that no amount of persuasion would save him from studies. Un’debro shook his head laughing to himself.
“Who taught you that? For I know it wasn’t I”
“Everyone knows the meaning of Holi-inte. Have the roots of the tree reached into your mind old man?”
“If my Path was to become one with this tree I might revel in that, However, the knowledge of all may be the knowledge to none. Holi-inte does not simply mean ‘The Swords of Faith’. That is a corruption of the ancient words to inspire fealty to the Senators who govern this fair state. A ‘Sword of Faith’ is a weapon that can not be challenged. In its unwavering dominance, it crushes the very soul of so-called evil thought. Have you even read any of the tomes of etymological studies?” Un’debro finished his speech with this rhetorical question.
“No, those books look so dusty and dull.” Un’tra said as he lowered his head with embarrassment.
“Well my boy, a quick lesson for you. The word Holi-inte does not mean ‘The Swords of Faith’. It means ‘Those who Sharpen the Mind’. Blind faith and thoughtless swordsmen lead to some terrible atrocities. Your sword is important, as is your faith in the gods, but know that your Path is through your mind. There will be perils, distractions, and all manner of unholy obstacles on your Path. The more you strengthen your mind and understand the multitudes of Paths around you, the more you can help others on their Paths. You have shown great promise. Do not be tempted by power and admiration. That is for the Holi-com.” As Un’debro finished the sounds of clinking iron were approaching up the hill from Haimore.
“It seems the mere mention of the Holi-com summons them to ruin a great lesson.” Un’debro said with annoyance. “I must be off with these men for this tree was not supposed to be my destination today.” He said looking at the tree with great disappointment that he had to leave its side.
“What do the Holi-com want with you, mentor?”
“I feel I have taught you a deviation from the Path of one’s responsibilities. I was summoned by the Senators for a matter that most likely will provide no insight into the world. Learn from my deviation, my boy. Running from responsibilities is like running across a lake. Once one has done it successfully it will be a true miracle.” Un’debro said with a tinge of embarrassment at not being a perfect mentor. As he was finishing his explanation for why he must leave, he was writing something down on a piece of parchment.
The two Holi-com soldiers approached the back side of the tree. Their metal armor which provided defense in battles weighed heavily on the men. This simple errand to escort Un’debro to the Senate chambers was more tiresome than they expected. As one opened his mouth to speak Un’debro waved his hand dismissively in the air.
“No need for military or police orders gentlemen. I know my discretions and shall atone for them.” The soldiers glanced at each other and then waited patiently for the man to stand up and collect his belongings.
“I shall go with these Holi-com, ‘The Swords of Duty’. But, remember our lesson on etymology, Un’tra.” Un’debro said as he folded the parchment, winked, and handed it to Un’tra. Un’tra stared as the three men strolled down the hill toward Haimore. He unfolded the parchment and laughed at what the ever-teaching Un’debro had written.
“Those who Sharpen their Obedience”









Okay, so having read this chapter I can tell you one thing for sure Un'debro was well written and was introduced well. Things were going well and then we had a bit of information dump. Sometimes its better not to introduce everything in your first chapter because what happens is you fry your reader and also many details get lost in the thick paragraphs and you'll end up having to remind your readers of important things in later chapters.
I'd like to suggest providing only enough information to keep your readers coming back to find out more, creating a bit of mystery around Path which is obviously very important. Some information is better teased than told. Other than that I loved the dialogue. If done right I think Un'debro will become a beloved character by your readers.