To The Beautiful You I Ruined

_"you will be on stage in 5 minutes!"

An assistant shouted as soon as he stepped close enough to Amir Kaim behind the stage.

The makeup artist who was making her last touches before sending Amir on stage inhaled nervously as she stepped away from him and had a look at his face and outfit, while another assistant whose job is to simply do "everything else" was sweating profusely since he had to check the sound equipments, the clothes and even make sure the water was in the right temperature for the picky artist to drink.

Amid the chaos and loud cheers of the crowd in the large sports stadium which was conveniently converted into a concert stage for one of the most famous singers in the country to hold his performance, everyone was nervous back stage, except for one person, the top artist himself, namely Amir Kaim.

In fact, he was never nervous during any of his performances, not in the past and certainly not this time as well, this cold attitude is not attributed to his calm persona or his over self confidence, It's not this, in reality, the only reason for his total and never changing indifference is the fact that the only person he always wanted to attend these extravagant shows.. never did, and except for this person's opinion, he cared about no one else's.

Like the usual, instead of checking the last preparations or warming up before jumping in front of the audience, he just kept sitting on the chair with a gloomy face and watched his phone screen attentively..

He was watching the records of the CCTV cameras installed at the gates of the stadium, he was examining the faces of all the fans coming to this show.

All the stuff knows about this strange habit of the idol, even the media spoke about it numerous times in tv shows and articles, that Amir Kaim keeps video records of the people attending his concerts, precisely the records of the cameras fixed at the stage's exterior gates that films the audience entering the concert venue, even when the number exceeded thousands of people, He still attentively watched all the records for hours and carefully looked at every single person, not missing even one face, he looked at every individual who've ever been to any of his performances.

the media explained this very strange habit as Amir's sincere appreciation to every fan who supported him, only Amir himself and his manager knew the truth, that he was searching for the face of a certain girl, and he refused to hand this task or give her name and picture to anyone besides himself, only his manager knew her..

The manager who've just finished speaking with the stage effects' personal came towards Amir's chair in hurried steps, he sighed impatiently the moment he noticed that Amir was still watching the silly video records and looking for that girl who never showed up! While everyone was losing their nerves the one who was supposed to be in even more wreck didn't seem like he cared about anything at all!

Since the manager was practically living of Amir's wealth, he couldn't even throw a tantrum, he suppressed his anger and reminded Amir:

_" you still have only 2 minutes! you better stand up and prepare__"

_" did she come?" Amir interrupted immediately.

Although the manager's long desperate wish was to just say "yes" to this question only once in this lifetime, he still had to report the truth:

_" No, she didn't"

Amir stood up, indifferently held the guitar and said:

_" send all the video records to my apartment later, i'll check them myself."

While he was heading to the stage the manager desperately yelled behind him:

_" why are you taking the guitar!! You won't play it today! It's not in the schedule!!"

Amir made an "okey" signal for him, but still took the guitar.

The manager, although was on the verge of having a heart attack, still calmly made all the necessary contacts and reported:

_" change of the schedule, Amir will play the guitar today."

It was never an easy task for the poor manager to work with this unpredictable person, if the payment wasn't generous, he would have long quited and never came back.

not only he refuses to make any friendships with fellow artists in the media, he's rude to the press and often ghosts them, and works according to his whim, he's just impossible to deal with!

When the famous Artist finally appeared on stage, the whole place went ear deafeningly boisterous.

Somewhere inside the sea of people, Hadil Ferhadi was standing calmly beside her friends, while the whole group screamed and called Amir's name, Hadil just stared fixedly at the singer's face on the big screen since it was impossible for her to see the real person from the far seat she was standing at, Amir appeared like a small dot, whereas on the big screen he looked so fascinating and heart captivating.

While she looked at his cold eyes, her heart inevitably started to beat faster and her breaths choked.

Amir Kaim is still indeed.. Very captivating.

Initially she didn't want to come to this concert, she've never been to any of his shows although she received many free invitations in the past years, and she planned to never attend to any of them in this lifetime, but the situation was slightly different this time round, because the one who offered her a free ticket for this concert was in fact her close friend, namely Chada Tiwati, and not Amir's team like the usual.

For long months, Chada have been saving money despite her poor finances, Hadil thought Chada was doing this in order to have enough funds to buy a new laptop, she was dumbfounded when Chada suddenly walked inside their student residence's room and yelled while holding black and golden tickets in her hands up in the air:

_"I finally bought tickets to Amir Kaim's contest! I can't believe I made it!! 4 tickets!"

She then kissed the tickets in her hand, and proudly fanned her face with them.

Hadil felt like a stone was stuck in her throat instantly, she carefully asked:

_"did you spend all your money buying them?"

Tickets to Amir's concerts are very expensive, even the ones of very bad and far seats.

_"of course!" Chada replied enthusiastically, then added:

_" you know how much I love Amir ever since his debut, I always wanted to attend any of his concerts, I finally did it! Now I can die in peace!"

_"why did you buy 4 tickets though? You could have just bought one."

_"of course you have to be with me! it's not negotiable! We all have to go together!"

Hadil and Chada, along with other two girls, Namely Huda and Safia, are close friends ever since their first year in college, they all are medical students, in their 6th year currently, and by chance they happened to be staying at the same student residence's room.

The first year when the group first came to college, the student count outnumbered the college facilities, so the original rooms that fitted for only 3 students had an extra bed squeezed in the tight space to fit for a forth one, this was how the four of them ended up sharing the same small room and instantly became close friends under these hard conditions and difficult studies, they got so used to having one another that even in later years when they were allowed to change rooms and have the original 3 student count. They still chose to stay together, and now that they are in their 6th year in college, they still have one year and a half left before they graduate and become doctors.

Having such affection for one another made it very hard for Hadil to reject Chada's ticket.

Although Hadil really, really didn't want to be anywhere within 10 km radius from Amir Kaim, in fact if she could.. She would have preferred to live in another planet all together! but given the circumstances, she had to consider Chada's feelings and she decided to make a once in a lifetime exception, she decided to go.

And now while standing among the crazy audience and watching Amir's face on the big screen it finally downed to her:

Perhaps she made the worst decision ever!

_"hello everyone!" Amir shouted on the mike, needless to say it, instantly the cheers went so loud that they might as well have been heard at the borders of the country, namely Algeria.

Hadil while observing this, was thrown into a turmoil of emotions: should she be thankful because she was the reason this legendary man rose to fame and had all these people cheering for him? Or should she always keep in mind that there's no amends for the things she did to him in the past?

She only watched the man on the screen sorrowful and mesmerized, hoping that at least he was living better days now.

That is until he started to play his guitar, and the familiar melody from her teenage years reached her ears.

He was playing his song "Cinderella man", at least this is its professional name now, because in the past, long before Amir was known to anyone, he was just her boyfriend and he wrote this song for her, with the same tune but totally different lyrics, its name was " I love Hadil."

Maybe it was pure fate, Amir has more than a hundred songs, but he still played the very first one she ever heard, the one that was truly written for her.

Her heart ached endlessly with every note, it was so painful to hear this melody again.

In the past Amir played it with love for her, although it was the same tune, it's played angrily and mercilessly now.

The immensity of his hatred was so clear to everyone, even those who had not a shred of musical knowledge among the crowd still felt unexplainably sad and furious when they heard the tune, then when they all went silent and were immersed, Amir finally started to sing:

"Our story happened in a modern day

When Cinderella became a man

When I met the princess I was a Cinderella man

Just the son of rock and dust

A nobody .. A no harm.

Just a fool who fell in love

With a dance gave his heart

And when the party was over

The princess became a murderer."

These were not the original words that Hadil heard 8 years ago, at the time, Amir played this song quirkily with a flushed face, many notes were off tune and he stopped multiple times to rub his sweaty fingers on his clothes, Hadil was so happy at that day that she lovingly stared at him and said:

_" you don't have to be nervous, it's just me."

Amir stopped playing, laughed awkwardly without looking at her, then explained with an even more flushed face:

_"actually, I'm nervous because it's you."

It took him tremendous courage before he finally sang:

"I love you

I love everything about you

Even when you get angry because you didn't have a full mark in the math test and scold me because I'm glad I just passed

I still love you"

At the time this was the first song he dedicated to her, although it had the silliest lyrics ever she still loved it.

But now, looking at the man who was literally torturing the guitar cords, she felt so sad that her tears began to fall without her consent.

Unaware of her presence, Amir continued to sing:

" damn you

damn my days with you

Damn the love I had for you!

I thought I met a princess.. But you were a murderer"

Then when he finally finished the song, he looked at the crowd..

With red eyes, and with pain..

Even after long years, her betrayal still tortures him, he still hates her like if not a day has passed, and he still wants to make her pay for her sins.

He performed for long hours, not a second he lacked hatred or anger, his performances were always a space for him to empty his distress, he didn't care whether his audience will enjoy their time with him, he selfishly sang in hopes that damned Hadil Ferhadi will hear his songs and realise that she wasn't off the hook and that he will certainly come after her.

Because what this girl did to him, was unimaginable and unforgivable, the only reason for which he never tried to reach her for long years was that he was waiting for her to come first.

Because that was what he promised himself to do, to patiently and unwaveringly wait for her to come to him with her feet just like he went to her with his own feet in the past, he sent her invitation to every concert he ever held, even the concerts he did out of the country, he still sent her an invitation along with a letter he personally wrote over and over again, having the same words:

"I'm still waiting."

He was certain she will come, and when she does.. he will be merciless.